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  1. #291
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    Quote Originally Posted by Theboys&me View Post
    I don't think his ex is a bad person ... I think she just wants what she wants and isn't considering anyone's feeling but her own. It sounds like she is a good mother - but is just being a little irrational to justify her decisions... Which I understand. My ex did the same. He wasn't a bad person, didn't want to hurt me- just wanted his own happiness regardless of others standing in the way of it. It selfish, but they are still good people. It's almost like they are stuck in a cloud of self importance.
    What a crap situation , hopefully it will all work out.

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    sorry that you have been caught up in this mess. Hopefully there is a happy ending to this story.

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    I've read since the beginning with hope in my heart for you xxx
    I just want to offer one piece of advice , for you to take or leave.
    If he has asked for space, then you're doing the right thing by doing that.
    But whatever you do, don't end up as his rock. On the other end of the phone for hours talking because that's what HE needs. He can't have it both ways.
    Make sure that what you're putting in, you're getting back.
    Best of luck to you Op xx

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  5. #294
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    Quote Originally Posted by firsttimemum34 View Post
    I've read since the beginning with hope in my heart for you xxx
    I just want to offer one piece of advice , for you to take or leave.
    If he has asked for space, then you're doing the right thing by doing that.
    But whatever you do, don't end up as his rock. On the other end of the phone for hours talking because that's what HE needs. He can't have it both ways.
    Make sure that what you're putting in, you're getting back.
    Best of luck to you Op xx
    You're very right. I've actually thought this quite a lot myself over the last couple of days. I tend to be easily taken advantage of (with friends and family) because I'm so easy going and understanding. I tend to slot into other people's lives and schedules and they don't do the same for me. It doesn't bother me - but I am aware of it.

    I've also thought a bit today about the fact that if we were to have a relationship down the track I don't want it to be based on him coming and going as he pleases (although it's completely understandable given the current circumstances.) I think if he can find a bit of inner peace in regards to his failed marriage then we could base a relationship on 'us' rather then on me helping him through his emotions (which I'd do anyway but to a lesser scale.)

    I have a habit of nurturing broken people ... I'm so rational and fair that I tend to help others see through their own heightened emotions. It's probably not a good foundation for the beginning of something.

    I think I might be yabbering without making a lot of sense.

    I really want to thank each and every one of you who've replied. Although I tend to be the 'counsellor' for my loved ones - I sometimes feel I don't have anyone who wants to listen to my own personal rumblings. I really appreciate this place for that x
    Last edited by Theboys&me; 31-08-2014 at 19:34.

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  7. #295
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    Quote Originally Posted by Theboys&me View Post
    You're very right. I've actually thought this quite a lot myself over the last couple of days. I tend to be easily taken advantage of (with friends and family) because I'm so easy going and understanding. I tend to slot into other people's lives and schedules and they don't do the same for me. It doesn't bother me - but I am aware of it.

    I've also thought a bit today about the fact that if we were to have a relationship down the track I don't want it to be based on him coming and going as he pleases (although it's completely understandable given the current circumstances.) I think if he can find a bit of inner peace in regards to his failed marriage then we could base a relationship on 'us' rather then on me helping him through his emotions (which I'd do anyway but to a lesser scale.)

    I have a habit of nurturing broken people ... I'm so rational and fair that I tend to help others see through their own heightened emotions. It's probably not a good foundation for the beginning of something.

    I think I might be yabbering without making a lot of sense.

    I really want to thank each and every one of you who've replied. Although I tend to be the 'counsellor' for my loved ones - I sometimes feel I don't have anyone who wants to listen to my own personal rumblings. I really appreciate this place for that x
    I think you make perfect sense! And whilst I didn't want to interfere by offering unwarranted and unwanted opinions, I did just want to get caught in it all because that happiness and excitement at starting something new can't be matched by anything else.
    Yes absolutely - he needs to find his inner peace so that if something progresses with you guys, it's on equal footings.
    I wish only good things for you Op ! And I concur - how good is this place for different opinions, ideas and support xx

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    I'm a lot like you op in relationships. I always fit in with other people. And if it comes naturally to you and it works for you there's nothing wrong with that. Just take the time to think about what needs you want met and make sure you get it. Rather than what other people tell you you should want or need if that makes sense?

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    Oh I felt so awkward tonight ... Went to the gym and he was there ... I wasn't sure what to do so I just pretty much ignored him :/

    My friend said he kept looking at me. I feel so silly.
    Last edited by Theboys&me; 02-09-2014 at 18:02.

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  12. #299
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    chances are you will cross paths again. perhaps make a plan now for what you want to do. im sure he is also feeling a bit uncertain how to best respond. marie.

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    Be your fabulous self! That's all you need to do!
    If you see him at the gym, smile and do your thing !

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