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  1. #1
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    Default At a loss with toilet training - please help!

    DS is 3yrs and 3 months old. We know he is fully aware of when he is about to wee and poo because he tells us that he's going to do a poo now etc.

    We have tried all sorts of encouragement to go to the potty or use his special toilet seat but he is absolutely adamant that he has a nappy on at all times and will rarely sit on the potty or toilet. If we take his nappy off and pretend that we have forgotten to put another one on he will scream and cry until he gets a nappy on.

    Stickers, lollies and even new toys have zero impact. We are thinking of just telling him the shops have run out of nappies and saying that he has to either wear undies or nothing. Is this too harsh? Should we go down this track or just keep him in nappies? Also he screams and tantrums if we try to put undies on him or even pull ups. I have even bought his 11 month old sister pull ups to show DS that he can wear pull ups too. He still refuses and screams that he needs a nappy.

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    Following! My ds is very similar. Same age. His twin sister is nearly toilet trained & she was easy..... He is just not interested. I have also thought about just going cold turkey, but I have an 18 mth old so there are still nappies around for him ( and I put one on dd for peace of mind) . Would love to hear what's worked.... I just thin he's not ready & when he is, it will be easier (that's what happened with dd). Maybe that's not the right attitude??? So I'll be following your thread!!

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    My DS is 3.5 and he's like that. No biggy, he will get there, in his own time.

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    Candiceo - I would try not to worry. I tend to agree with lilypily, I just wonder if he's not ready yet.

    My DS was 2 yrs 9 months when we started and he picked it up really quickly, but I was so surprised. My sister's boy was closer to 4, and many of my friends with boys say they are nowhere near ready until nearer to 4. I think girls just pick these thing up a lot faster but boys can take a while.

    I also had to find which "currency" worked for my boy for rewards at the start. I thought I had nailed it with a lolly, etc but it wasn't until I introduced a tiny sliver of donut when he would go to the toilet that things just took off and he was taking him off to the toilet in no time.

    GL hun.

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    This may or may not help but here it is anyway
    I've recently come across an e-book "Oh Crap potty Training" and the author's blog (Jamie) is chock full of hints and tips and it's also full of stuff that's in the e-book. I bought it because it's only $15 and I liked what I read in the blog. Our boy is a lot younger than yours but Jamie has worked with kids the same age as yours and older.

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    Thanks everyone, it's just so frustrating because I know that physically he's ready. He knows when he is going to do a wee or a poo but just won't sit on the loo. Also he a will sit on the potty or toilet without any fear but only when he feels like it, or when we make it into a game, which doesn't really coincide with his body needing to wee or poo.

    It's so hard as well when other people's kids that are much younger than him are running around in undies and have been for months and I just start to think 'what have we not done, why have we got this wrong'.

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    My DD was very similar and no amount of threatening to take the nappies away or bribing with stickers/lollies/toys worked at all. I did some googling and came across a woman who had success with her son by telling him that the toilet was really hungry, and we need to feed the toilet our wees and poos because it was soooo hungry. Well in desperation I tried this with DD and low and behold she thought it was hilarious! She got really excited about "feeding" the toilet, haha! It's gross but it worked. Very embarrassing at the shopping centre when she would yell out "mummy I need to feed the toilet my poo!!!" but heck it worked.

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    Gothel is offline Skip the drama, stay with Mama!
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    Dd6 was the same at that age. It was such a horrible battle, she was absolutely petrified and the more I tried, the more she resisted. Eventually I told her she didn't need to poo on the loo if she didn't want to, i told her she could wear knickers all the time and when she needed to go, to tell me and I'd put on a nappy. I mean, put a nappy on her lol!

    In the end we bribed her. She was 4yrs 3m at that stage, and her little sister had just done her first potty poo. I wrapped up two toys I had stashed away and gave one to her little sister as a reward for going on the potty. The other one i put up high on a shelf (it was biggish and very tempting lol )and I told dd6 she could have it when she did a poo on the potty. 24 hours later she did her first potty #2!!! We never looked back after that, once she had done it once, she lost all her fear and never wore another nappy.

    So my advice is don't force it. Do everything you can to encourage it and make opportunities for it to happen, but let him be in control and make the choice. He's a little person, imagine if someone was forcing you to go on a squat toilet or an outdoor loo or somewhere else that you hated and where you felt extremely uncomfortable. Now that dd6 is older, we know that she's a sensitive kid, nervous of new experiences, very private and likes things her way and just-so, so it makes sense that it was such a big deal for her at the time.
    Hth and that it all settles down for you soon. It's a pita to have to keep buying and putting on nappies but it WILL end eventually!

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    My DS is 5 and Autistic, so I don't know if this will help you or not. My boy has a lot of sensory issues & can't stand the feel of underpants. He will wee in a toilet (if he remembers) but poos are a problem. Rewards don't work for him either and pretending that we'd run out of nappies just got him so distressed! We kept hearing that this shouldn't be 'like a punishment' so we're trying other methods.

    You could try cutting a hole in the nappy, so he's still got a nappy on, but the poo goes into the toilet. You could try it for weed too I guess? Seems like a compromise, he might agree? Also on You Tube there's a video called Toms Toileting Triumph (or something like that) It's a cartoon about how to go to the toilet, with Australian accents. It's not very 'polished' but kids seem to like it.

    Try not to worry though, I'm sure he'll come around to the idea soon enough.

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    Have you tried toilet training pants? It feels like a nappy has funky design sometimes. Grovia do one and a few others. You could give that a try. I had refusal of sitting on toilet for awhile. I just dropped it for a while and tried 3 months later.

    Right now the bribe of a big pink princess castle is working. Its been a long 8 months though. I thought girls were supposed to be easier.

    All the best


 

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