Serenity Love (15-07-2014)
Showing independence like this is going to make it easier to deal with them in the future, you've shown you are not pushovers to be controlled.
Congratulations on making a really tough call - it really does sound like it will be best for you, your DH and kids in the long run. I am glad you are feeling empowered and your DH is feeling good about it.
Serenity Love (17-07-2014)
Well done you guys! You'll look back in a few years and think thank god we didn't accept that money. Hopefully everything will fall into place for you now xx
Great outcome. You've been clear and unwavering on your boundaries which is brave. That kind of thing gets less scary the more you do it. Reckon your DH was onto a good thing marrying you...!
So glad he told them. Hope they don't start any trouble now you haven't taken up their offer
Thanks all. The support on here has been just truly amazing xxxx
Sadly us being a united front was a little too good to be true.
The inlaws have still been flashing their money in front of DH, saying they demand we allow them to help get home improvements done on this house. But at the same time they are also demanding that we put the past behind us and let SIL back into our lives without her ever having to apologise, as she apparently wants to now be in DS's life - 2.5 years later after at first wishing DH and i never married. Which would then mean DS wouldn't have ever existed.
DH has been working on me now, coming home from their house.... dropping hints about SIL and that maybe we should give in.... regardless of the fact she hates the sight of me, to keep everyone else happy they all think i need to give in. I don't want anyone around my kid who hates me so much .. it's been wearing me down, i even had a massive argument with MIL on the phone the other night because she called up having a whinge because SIL wants to meet DS ..
DH is constantly going on now about the fact he wants to accept their help....but its coming at a price. Its n ot just to help us out, its so we then do as we're told. FIL apparently told DH that if we don't give in and let SIL back in and to spend time with DS then they wont help us and we'll be out of the will. So then DH comes home, and tries to get into my head which only fires me up.
DH is also requesting I let them babysit DS, even though they say anti gay prayers to him and having a staffy x bred dog that is very anxious and uneasy around DS and very untrained.
I am realising now that I am at the point where I either need to back right down, and just let them all walk all over me.... go along with everything they all say, or DH and I will have to separate. Because i don't think i can fight this anymore, now that DH is constantly working on me.... it was so much better when he stood by me but they're manipulating him now with their money.
DH is even constantly talking to DS about his Nan and Pop and asking when he wants to see them, getting DS all excited to see them .... even though the last time DS saw them his "Pop" told him to p!ss off. But that's ok, thats just how 'Poppy" is and apparently we're all to just accept it. But of course "Poppy" never accepts how others are and other peoples feelings.
I just don't know how much of this I can take, I don't give a crap about heir money!!! But DH does and he wants his share, regardless of the price it really does come at - he is prepared to do it and I am not.. I am now wondering if maybe I am being too hard headed? So so frustrated.
DH is completely pandering to them, sucking up to them .... he called his MIL the night after i had the argument with her and he then came to me all happy because I "didn't ruin everything" and she still talking about money with him.
Just as they wanted, they have waved the money in front of him and got him completely off his wife's side and onto theirs. I don't know what to do.... I am too pregnant for this crap. Should i just so to hell with it and let them have their way?
I just don't think i can bring myself to let them have DS though as i can't run the risk of their dog attacking him. They have a history of owning dogs that have mauled people.... DH thinks I need to just trust them... of course his tune with that changed though since they waved money at him.
Last edited by Serenity Love; 01-09-2014 at 15:20.
No offence OP, but while your inlaws are nuts, your DH is mainly to blame here. Had he just said "I will not take your money bc it always means strings attached, please do not offer it again" and stuck to it, it wouldn't be an issue. He seems overly interested in money and his 'share' and your in laws spotted this long ago, have worked out it's his currency and are manipulating him with it.
The buck starts and stops with him. I worry for you though that his obsession with money seems ingrained and difficult to break. Had he wanted to forgive his sister and parents bc he wanted a relationship with them, even if it was misguided you can at least somewhat forgive or understand. But all this is about him wanting money from them and being willing to sell his family's soul to get it.
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