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  1. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by misskittyfantastico View Post
    We have had to travel a minimum of three hours for every single wedding we have attended in the last 11 years. I've never thought of them as "destination weddings" more as "one downside of living in the bush" lol!
    thats what I thought too, travel in itself us just sometimes part of it. I've for mates the other side if the state but I wouldn't consider it a destination wedding.

    OP I think your issues with your SIL are bigger than the wedding. Part of siblings partnering and marrying often means a re-structuring if family networks and celebrations. It can be hurtful or maybe even bewildering, I don't think it's ever worth cutting ties. I think you will regret cutting your brother out for this if that's what you do. Keep your dignity, stiff upper lip and either go or politely explain your reasons for being unable to attend.

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  3. #72
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    Op given the updates, it's even clearer that there's more to this than this wedding.

    You cannot control your brother and soon to be SIL's actions. But you can control your own.

    If you don't want to leave your children with a stranger - don't.
    If you don't agree with a child-free wedding - don't go
    If you don't think you owe an apology - then don't apologise
    If you believe this is the end of the relationship - that's up to you
    Live your beliefs and your life the way you choose.

    But... given that you believe you're right, and they clearly believe they're right, nothing is likely to change here. Be sure it's what you want. Because if your hope by texting them was to get them to change their mind, that's unlikely. Or if you expect them to change their mind from here, it's unlikely. Don't be forced into sticking to your "no more relationship" guns, because of what was decided in the heat of the moment.

    Good luck Op, you're clearly hurting and it's an awful situation.

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  5. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by misskittyfantastico View Post
    What about your DH's side of the family? We've always just put the inlaws/Aunty/Uncle etc... up in a hotel room and they've babysat. I wouldn't leave my kids with strangers either!
    Good suggestion but they live in qld and the wedding is in nsw

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    Quote Originally Posted by thepouts View Post
    Good suggestion but they live in qld and the wedding is in nsw
    Ah bugger. Yeah, If I was in that position, I just couldn't go - I've never left my kids with anyone other than close family.

    It sounds like a sucky situation

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  8. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by firsttimemum34 View Post
    Op given the updates, it's even clearer that there's more to this than this wedding.

    You cannot control your brother and soon to be SIL's actions. But you can control your own.

    If you don't want to leave your children with a stranger - don't.
    If you don't agree with a child-free wedding - don't go
    If you don't think you owe an apology - then don't apologise
    If you believe this is the end of the relationship - that's up to you
    Live your beliefs and your life the way you choose.

    But... given that you believe you're right, and they clearly believe they're right, nothing is likely to change here. Be sure it's what you want. Because if your hope by texting them was to get them to change their mind, that's unlikely. Or if you expect them to change their mind from here, it's unlikely. Don't be forced into sticking to your "no more relationship" guns, because of what was decided in the heat of the moment.

    Good luck Op, you're clearly hurting and it's an awful situation.
    I definitely was not wanting them to reconsider- i was not after a pity invite for my children, which is what it would be.

    I texted them (because he wouldn't answer my call!) informing them that we would not be attending their wedding and why. I was not nasty or name calling but I did let them know how upset I am and what it meant for the future. I do not regret this and largely doubt I will. I am tired of trying. I think I will actually be more at peace with this decision in the long run once I am able to move past today.

    You are right about there being more to it than my girls simply not being invited to a wedding. I am hurting very much. It has been an accumulation over the past couple of years and I have tried so very hard with him and his fiancé but enough is enough.

  9. #76
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    If people want a child free wedding, you have three options:
    -ask the bride & groom if your kids can come
    -get a babysitter or take in turns with your partner to care for your kids throughout the day
    -don't go

    It's their wedding and it's not about you!

    The only thing I see an issue with is the fact that they had said your kids were invited, then changed their mind without giving you the heads up.

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  11. #77
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    Big hugs op, I can definitely see why you are hurting. After reading the entire post I think you've done the right thing for yourself emotionally in regards to the wedding. I hope for you and your brother that his wife isn't the cause of the end of your relationship.

    Sent from my GT-I9507 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    Quote Originally Posted by munchkin275 View Post
    Big hugs op, I can definitely see why you are hurting. After reading the entire post I think you've done the right thing for yourself emotionally in regards to the wedding. I hope for you and your brother that his wife isn't the cause of the end of your relationship.

    Sent from my GT-I9507 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    That is very much how it is feeling!

  13. #79
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    I see nothing wrong with a child free wedding. My sister had one and we hired a babysitter and had a great time. Kids were fine, we had a blast and danced the night away. We wouldn't have had such a great night, and I'm sure the other guests would have either if we would have bought our toddler.

  14. #80
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    We don't go to child free weddings anymore. The ones that do have children are always fabulous and enjoyable.

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