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  1. #41
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    Ha! My step sister got married when DD was three weeks old and it was child free and she was not invited, I declined.

    I can see how people might prefer no children of course but I failed and still fail to see how DD would have gotten in anybody's way.

    I was expected to put her in a hotel 800kms from home with a babysitter from an agency. Wow, actually it still makes me upset seeing how we are 'family' and all that.

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  3. #42
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    If you're going to call it a child free wedding, the cut off should be when you need to go from paying for a 'childs' meal to an 'adults'. Don't call it a child forge wedding because it's not. It's just hurtful when some kids in the family are invited and others aren't. It's not nice to pick and choose, a yeah I have the right to be upset. My eldest will be over 6 and extremely capable of sitting still throughout the ceremony. I also not the kind of parent to let my kids run wild so that's really a non-issue. Neither is the money issue considering both of my parents are contributing a large amount.

    We live interstate to them so I recently spent over $600 on airfares to get us all down there. Thankfully I had not yet booked the hotel accommodation.

    And by the way, by manipulative and controlling, I mean we don't see my brother on his birthday, nor at christmas time as they spend it with her family. There is a lot more to this whole issue than just my kids not being invited to a wedding

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  5. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by 2FurBabies View Post
    OP, I can completely empathise with you and I could have written a very similar post myself. My brother and his fiancé, whom I am both very close to, are getting married later this year and I was given a heads up from them before the invites went out that my DD (3) will not be invited. I will also have a 3 month old baby by then who came come if breastfed. They are having a very small wedding with immediate family and close friends only and we will be needing to travel.

    Needless to say I was absolutely gutted, especially as we are immediate family. Also, the logistics of getting a babysitter for a destination wedding being a nightmare.

    In the end I have come to respect that yes, this is their day and as upset, disappointed, angry etc I am in their decision, it's their wedding and I'm not prepared to ruin our relationship over it. We've ended up booking a hotel for the night and my inlaws have agreed to come a stay to babysit. My DD will come to the ceremony and have photos etc and we'll then drop her with the inlaws before the reception.
    Big hugs!

    I was told months ago that they were having a child free wedding but she explicitly said to me "but of course yours will be coming". She has since then obviously changed her mind.

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  7. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by thepouts View Post
    Big hugs!

    I was told months ago that they were having a child free wedding but she explicitly said to me "but of course yours will be coming". She has since then obviously changed her mind.
    See that is not cool at all. If she decided to change her mind the absolute least she could do is give you a bloody call and let you know

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  9. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mokeybear View Post
    Ha! My step sister got married when DD was three weeks old and it was child free and she was not invited, I declined.

    I can see how people might prefer no children of course but I failed and still fail to see how DD would have gotten in anybody's way.

    I was expected to put her in a hotel 800kms from home with a babysitter from an agency. Wow, actually it still makes me upset seeing how we are 'family' and all that.
    Although Im a fan of child free weddings, thats just nuts! We were invited to a wedding and could take ds who would be 4 months and bf but not dd who is older and running around which I was fine with.

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  11. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by thepouts View Post
    I have told him that our relationship will be irreparable from now. I will never have anything to do with either of them again.
    I know you are hurt......but please rethink that one when you have had a bit of time to process it all.

    Life is just too short.




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  13. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by thepouts View Post
    Big hugs!

    I was told months ago that they were having a child free wedding but she explicitly said to me "but of course yours will be coming". She has since then obviously changed her mind.
    That's not cool. It sounds like she really calls the shots in that relationship and that it's really compromised your relationship with your brother. It's only my bro and I in my family and he's my best mate, so I'd be heartbroken if we'd become distant after he got married. Big hugs xx

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    I personally find child-free weddings very strange, but then, I find big/traditional/detailed/ceremonial weddings odd in general. Don't get the appeal :P

    But as others have said, it's their choice. It may suck for you, and it may be upsetting that they appear not to care about how it affect you, but it is THEIR wedding.

    Personally, I'd let my brother know (calmly) why I was upset, clearly state whethr I was coming or not (as per their conditions), and leave it at that. Is it really worth cutting him off entirely?

  15. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by thepouts View Post
    Big hugs!

    I was told months ago that they were having a child free wedding but she explicitly said to me "but of course yours will be coming". She has since then obviously changed her mind.
    That's sh1te.
    Don't rate that at all.

  16. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by RipperRita View Post
    I actually think a wedding is the one day you should stand aside and let the couple chose however they want to have it and RESPECT their decision. Ultimately the day is about the bride and groom and no one else should really come into it.

    I eloped so it wasn't really an issue for me ....but if I was to have my own wedding over again, other than babies still being bf, I wouldn't want small children at my wedding either.... I wouldn't be offended if someone couldn't attend just as I'd expect them to not be offended that I chose a child free wedding...
    Yep, this. I also get the impression that the OP already dislikes her SIL anyways and this is just an over reaction. Apologies if I'm wrong.

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