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  1. #201
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    @Tamtam well said and I couldn't agree with you more! If I were the OP I'd feel quite hurt at being called selfish and that I'm over-reacting. To be invited then have that reneged on is pretty ordinary IMO.


    Me + DH = DS1 (6), DS2 (2) and #3 due September 8th

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  3. #202
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chippa View Post
    @Tamtam well said and I couldn't agree with you more! If I were the OP I'd feel quite hurt at being called selfish and that I'm over-reacting. To be invited then have that reneged on is pretty ordinary IMO.


    Me + DH = DS1 (6), DS2 (2) and #3 due September 8th
    Thank you. Glad someone agrees with me. I think the OP is probably hurting enough without strangers on the Internet making her feel worse.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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  5. #203
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Maybe they are avoiding because of the ops text message. If someone sent me a message complaining about my wedding guest list I would avoid them for a bit (until I gathered my thoughts) as:
    1) weddings are stressful enough: wouldn't need the extra conflict
    2) I wouldn't want to open the conversation and let people think they have a vote in something they don't.

    Don't get me wrong I think it would be wonderful if the OP could bring her kids... And the brother is being stingy.. I just don't think it's something the OP gets a vote on.
    I did try calling first, but he would not answer and I was not calling to try and get my children an invite. Noooo! I was calling to let him know how upset and hurt i was that they were not invited and we would not be attending. There is no way i would accept a pity invite for them. the decision has already been made and now we all have to live with the consequences of it.

    He is obviously not feeling comfortable with his decision given the fact that he wouldn't answer my call.

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  7. #204
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    Quote Originally Posted by Californication View Post
    OP, I'm another who thinks you overreacted. You said you don't see your brother very often, so are you sure it's not just that he doesn't have a relationship with your kids, but does with the 8yo he might see all the time??

    We weren't invited to close family weddings last year. It hurt, but we don't see them very often so of course we weren't going to be high on their invite lost. But I admit it took me a while to get to that place.

    It's their wedding. They can invite who they want. I know I did with mine. As you would have done with yours.
    SERIOUSLY??? Not that I need to divulge my life story on bubhub but we only moved interstate 2.5 months ago so prior to that my brother was seeing his 3 nieces at least weekly.

    like I have said earlier, several times, there are people on my brothers side invited who he has NOTHING to do with yet they are invited.

    So even if he feels closer to the 8 year old then he does to my daughters he should have just invited them anyway because that is what family do.

    I value family very highly and thought so much of my brother until this happened. It has taken me by total surprise and was a big shock.

    Everybody says its their day blah blah blah they can do what they want well guess what?? I am allowed to feel hurt and upset.

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  9. #205
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    *hugs* OP.

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  11. #206
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tamtam View Post
    Thank you. Glad someone agrees with me. I think the OP is probably hurting enough without strangers on the Internet making her feel worse.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    The OP posted on an Internet forum - you aren't always going to get 100% of people agreeing with you.

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  13. #207
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    Quote Originally Posted by mamasurfs View Post
    The OP posted on an Internet forum - you aren't always going to get 100% of people agreeing with you.
    Of course this will always happen. I think TamTam's point was more about the OP being told she is over-reacting and being selfish. There's a difference between having a differing opinion with someone and calling them names.

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    Quote Originally Posted by thepouts View Post
    I did try calling first, but he would not answer and I was not calling to try and get my children an invite. Noooo! I was calling to let him know how upset and hurt i was that they were not invited and we would not be attending. There is no way i would accept a pity invite for them. the decision has already been made and now we all have to live with the consequences of it.

    He is obviously not feeling comfortable with his decision given the fact that he wouldn't answer my call.
    You are missing my point. Your brother could very well be comfortable with his decision and just be uncomfortable with the idea of having you ear-bash him about his decision. Not saying you did/would ear-bash, from your posts thus far I just thought you were so upset that it was a possibility. What did your text message to your brother say?

    Don't get me wrong I would be upset too if I was in your situation and I wouldn't accept a pity invite. I would just take a different course to you: accept my brothers decision, try and get a babysitter, skimp on his wedding gift and guilt him with a lovely "happy wedding day" video message from your kids. To try and tell him what you think/refuse to go *appears* to me to be a bit of an overreaction. Is there something else going on/background we are unaware of that is making you more upset?

    I don't mean to upset you any further I just don't want to see you further upset by spending time on something which is out of your control.
    Last edited by VicPark; 16-07-2014 at 11:39.

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  17. #209
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chippa View Post
    Of course this will always happen. I think TamTam's point was more about the OP being told she is over-reacting and being selfish. There's a difference between having a differing opinion with someone and calling them names.
    Saying someone is overreacting and being selfish isn't "calling them names".

  18. #210
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    Quote Originally Posted by haveheart View Post
    Saying someone is overreacting and being selfish isn't "calling them names".
    I beg to differ. Calling someone selfish is calling them names and telling them they are over-reacting is belittling them. JMO.

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