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  1. #171
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Haven't read any replies. It's not something I would do, and heck they will probably regret their decision when they have kids, but it's their right to have a kid free wedding. It wouldn't be anything personal so please don't take it that way or let it ruin he relationship with your brother.
    I'm thinking there isn't really a close relationship with the brother if he doesn't want his sisters kids there? Maybe I'm just too family orientated. I wouldn't expect friends to care about my kids feelings but I would expect my brother to. But I know from my own experience with my husbands family and my cousins (only child myself but have 5 kids of my own) that blood is not always thicker than water. It makes me sad seeing as I have no siblings, that some siblings just don't care for each other.
    Anyone would think it was a bunch of drunken sailors, not 3 small family members. I highly doubt the bride woukd even notice them, she seems pretty preoccupied with herself.

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  3. #172
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zombie_eyes View Post
    I totally get that.

    I think The issues run a lot deeper than this for the OP tho.

    Especially since this woman was in the op's bridal party, and witnessed herself how good the op's little girls were at her own wedding.

    Also The fact they got the mum to pass the message on, and that they are too gutless to even answer the phone.
    Absolutely @Zombie_eyes I agree that the way they have handled the situation is terrible, and often, that's the true problem. There's a huge difference between not answering your phone, basically avoiding the person because you know they won't like your decision and being upfront, calling them and having a chat to explain your wishes.

  4. #173
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ngaiz View Post
    OP I'd be pised if I was in your position. Fair enough if it was friends but this is your brother. If your parents are contributing $$ will they side with you and say that if they are paying they would like ALL family to be invited to the ceremony at the very least.
    I hate parents who do that ... offer money & then dictate who should/shouldn't be at the wedding & use the money they're contributing as blackmail almost.

    OP, I think you are over reacting. it's their wedding, their day. Many people choose to have kid free weddings. I have children, and will he having a child free reception - this includes my own children & siblings children.

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  6. #174
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    Quote Originally Posted by thepouts View Post
    Like I said earlier my parents are contributing a large amount of $$$ so money is not an issue. Not sure what you are insinuating about my children's behaviour I don't have rose coloured goggles. They are generally good kids and do have their moments but they are not monsters And we are not the type of parents who let their children run wild. We are big on manners and discipline.
    What do your parents think about their grandchildren not being there considering that they're contributing financially?

  7. #175
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    We had a child free reception. That included my sister's 2 children, my nephews.

    It wouldn't have occurred to me that she would be offended by this. I was correct.

    My nephews would have been noisy, disruptive & made lots of work for my sister.

    I was stressed already, I didn't want to have to worry about them as well.

    We also invited one of my husband cousins and not another.

    I also assumed, correctly, that she wouldn't be offended.

    I wonder if people think of me as a bridezilla.

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  9. #176
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    Quote Originally Posted by mamasurfs View Post
    I hate parents who do that ... offer money & then dictate who should/shouldn't be at the wedding & use the money they're contributing as blackmail almost.

    OP, I think you are over reacting. it's their wedding, their day. Many people choose to have kid free weddings. I have children, and will he having a child free reception - this includes my own children & siblings children.
    My IL do this re our family decisions and it suks.

    But honestly this seems such a big deal. I dunno. If I didn't invite my brothers kids to my wedding, my mum would be having serious words with me.

  10. #177
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    This thread is fascinating. I think many of us are going to have to agree to disagree.
    For some, weddings are about standing up in front of family and friends (including children) no matter what
    For others, weddings are about the bride and groom and how they want to capture their wedding.

    I sit very firmly on the side of, it's one day, I'm the host, myself and my husband to be (hypothetical husband to be!) will celebrate it in a way that is special to us. We will invite who we like, we will have it where we like and fully accept that our decisions may limit those who can attend. E.g I can choose to invite some children and not others and have to accept that if I don't invite some children, their parents may not be able to attend - I have to live with that choice.
    I personally would never invite these three nieces and nephews and exclude those 3 nieces and nephews - but that's a decision I'm allowed to make! It's my party!

    The sense of entitlement here astounds me... But then I guess some will say the same about my point of view!

    And Op - You keep mentioning other slights this bridezilla has committed, but they're all about your mum. Her not coming to dinner at your mums, or her sitting at your mums on the phone or your brother doing work for her parents but not his own. These are not your issues. They belong to someone else. Don't let them shape your views. If your parents have an issue with that, it's up to them to fight that battle. Are they going to the wedding?

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  12. #178
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    The thing is it is NOT a child free wedding. They invited an 8yo.
    It's a pick and choose which kid to invite wedding.

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  14. #179
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    There may be a reason why they made the exception for this one child. Who would know? Some people view weddings as an adult event. Others don't. We had a few little one's attend our wedding but we asked the parents to ensure they left by 8pm (except for the little ones who needed to be close to their mums). If I remember right we had 2 family friends come and pick them up and take them home for a movie night. I really didn't want the kids hanging around half drunken adults

  15. #180
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    Sorry if I missed it but is it just one 8yo kid that's invited? Any other kids at all? What's that 8yos relationship to the bride n groom?


 

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