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  1. #141
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    Quote Originally Posted by NoteToSelf View Post
    LMAO at the honour of being invited!!!! Jeebus.

    And the tale of the baby that cried while the I do was being said.... I went to a wedding once where a bird screeched loudly throughout the whole ceremony. If only the bride and groom could have specified no birds!
    This made me lol!

  2. #142
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    I totally get why you're not impressed.

    I have been in the same position, and I took my kids to the zoo on the big day with the money I would've spent on gifts, outfits, etc.. If my kids can't go, I can't go. We had a blast.

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  4. #143
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    Quote Originally Posted by cheekychook View Post
    OP, how did your daughters feel when you told them they weren't going to wedding?

    For me, my nieces would have been heartbroken.

    I know it's their wedding day and they can do whatever they like, but I still just don't understand it. Maybe I'm just a softy.
    My eldest is the only one who understands and she was very upset, she cried and didn't understand why. I didn't know what to say so just told her I wasn't sure.

  5. #144
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    Quote Originally Posted by oozzle View Post
    I totally get why you're not impressed.

    I have been in the same position, and I took my kids to the zoo on the big day with the money I would've spent on gifts, outfits, etc.. If my kids can't go, I can't go. We had a blast.
    Yep! I think we will be doing something very special instead.

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  7. #145
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    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
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    I dont understand the "we've decided to get married, so that means for one day we can do whatever the hell we want no matter who we bother or what we lose because its OUR day"

    News flash, getting married doesnt give you a licence to be an insensitive cnut!

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  9. #146
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    ...hmmm, I think there needs to be a big family sit down "chat" - to sort out some sh!t before it festers away and makes the rest of everyone's lives toxic.


    OR - you could find a sitter, go to the wedding - get absolutely trashed, and vomit all over the bridal table just as she gets served her dinner? - would make awesome memories for future family get togethers

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cat74 View Post
    Of course we invited him! We wanted him to be DH's his "best man" and stand beside him during the ceremony. We didn't have any attendants so SS would have been standing up there with both of us. But SS didn't want to be a part of it. I don't mind telling you that hurt both DH and I quite a bit but he was only 7 so it would have been hard for him to understand that side of it.

    We didn't want to force him into something he wasn't keen on and I'm sure his mum would have had something to say about it if we'd tried. I guess being young and having been to a few family weddings in the past that SS had found boring, he didn't want to go. We accepted it and made our plans accordingly.
    My apologies, I misunderstood your original post.

    Thank goodness he was invited. I agree it would have been hurtful but good on you for respecting his point of view.

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  13. #148
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    hahahaha... to the 'honour of being invited''... well maybe if I was invited to a famous person's wedding... maybe.. lol. More like the Bride & Groom should be the ones ''honoured'' that people are coming....

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  15. #149
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    OP can I ask why it is you assume its all the girlfriend and not your brother? just seems to be a bit of a theme of it all being the womans fault when your brother is part of that relationship as well. What would be his side of the whole situation surrounding your family? maybe he has another story to tell. I just find it would be insulting to him to have everyone hes some brainless sheep who has no input to anything and does what he is told. You dont know what they discuss behind closed doors, no matter how well you think you know him. One 8 year old being there is marginally different to younger children and if thats what they want then so be it.

  16. #150
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    Quote Originally Posted by ExcuseMyFrench View Post
    I have never heard about a child free wedding irl though - only on BH land.
    Really? I thought it was really common. Child free weddings have always been the norm in our world - every single wedding I've ever been to was child free until our wedding (and then, everyone was completely stunned their children were invited and kept thanking us a million times for it. Although some people weren't happy, they wanted and assumed they'd get a child free night, then felt like they "had" to bring them or they'd feel bad!)

    I've been married twice - the first time I was 21 years old and there were only a couple of children in my extended family. We had a child free wedding and it would never have occurred to me to invite any children.

    Second time around I was 34 and we wanted children there. (My DH was not invited to his cousins wedding when he was a teenager because they weren't having 'kids' and is still dirty over it - no matter how many times I've told him he's being ridiculous, it's just a wedding and get over it! So he was definitely inviting kids!) We invited the children of our cousins (we don't have any nieces or nephews) only, but not friends. We had 10 children there. I told a few of our friends with children that unfortunately we couldn't invite everyone's kids, it was just family kids, otherwise there'd be more kids than adults! Every one of them said "oh, I never would have expected the kids to be invited anyway!" The people who's children we did invite asked if we wanted them to pay for their meal! (which of course we declined!) so I think child free weddings are fairly common.

    It's a tough situation, I completely agree that the bride and groom get to choose what they want for their wedding, it is their day. However, I also believe this: The ceremony is all about the bride and groom. That's their special moment. The reception is a party you are throwing for your GUESTS. I did lots of things to make sure the guests were happy, including the kids (activity books etc).

    At the end of the day guests also get to choose whether they want to go or not. It's an invitation. You can decline if you want to. The fact that it is in another state makes it difficult, like a PP said, I would have arranged some child entertainment where all the kids could hang out in a separate room at the reception center if it was me.

    The fact that she told you they would be invited and then changed her mind without telling you (or even at all) is not ok.

    It's not worth throwing a relationship away over though. Life is too short. Sorry OP, it sounds to me like ALL parties have handled the situation badly and it's gotten a little more heated than it needed to. If your brother doesn't turn up to family events, doesn't stand up to his wife controlling him and doesn't have a say in his relationship, then that's something he needs to sort out for himself. It's better to take the higher ground and just say you wont be able to make it because it's not possible for you to get a sitter for your kids and travel interstate. Telling him it's going to ruin your relationship from now on is a little over the top and sounds like a heat of the moment comment.

    As a side note: I was also one who had two of the little girls we invited line up to "meet the princess" and then tell me they "never knew I was a real princess". Totally worth having kids there just for that moment

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