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  1. #131
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    Perhaps if they want to get married in a remote location AND not have kids, they could hire a babysitter or two to entertain the kids while the parents attend the wedding. I know of a few couples who did this on their destination wedding. It meant the kids were on hand for parents who needed to check in on them, but they were entertained and not at risk of "interrupting" any of the grown up celebrations.

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  3. #132
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    We're only picking and choosing which kids can come to our wedding. Our siblings kids and bridal parties kids are coming and that is it. If I invited every.single child i'd have a school of kids at my wedding and they'd most likely outnumber the adults.

    I could never not invited nieces and nephews though. I'd extend the invite and let the parents decide if they wanted to bring them along or not.

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  5. #133
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cat74 View Post
    Of course we invited him! We wanted him to be DH's his "best man" and stand beside him during the ceremony. We didn't have any attendants so SS would have been standing up there with both of us. But SS didn't want to be a part of it. I don't mind telling you that hurt both DH and I quite a bit but he was only 7 so it would have been hard for him to understand that side of it.

    We didn't want to force him into something he wasn't keen on and I'm sure his mum would have had something to say about it if we'd tried. I guess being young and having been to a few family weddings in the past that SS had found boring, he didn't want to go. We accepted it and made our plans accordingly.
    Take it with a grain of salt... You don't need to justify yourself. If I had of had a wedding I probably wouldn't have had my children there either as I would have wanted to enjoy myself and not have any responsibility for a night. Step parents always cop a rough deal and are judged for things that ordinarily wouldn't be such a deal.... It's their issue... Not yours. As long as your family was happy the rest doesn't matter...
    Last edited by RipperRita; 14-07-2014 at 11:59.

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  7. #134
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    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mummysammy88 View Post
    It's pretty simple
    Just tell them you can't go as you have no one to look after the kids.
    I think that's exactly what the SIL wants... that's what I can gather from the OP's subsequent posts...

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    Weddings really bring out the nastiness in people. I find it sad that people exclude children they are related to from weddings. Kids make life fun, theres nothing I love more than watching the kids break it down on the dance floor! Great memories. Each to their own.

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  10. #136
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    I remember the girls looking at me during our wedding as if I were a princess. They were so cute and by my side all day, wanting to hold my hand or my bouquet.

    A DH's young cousin (5yo) actually asked her mum if she could go hug the princess (I was the princess).

    Gold

    Sorry for the off topic.

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  12. #137
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    Busy-Bee is offline Offending people since before Del :D
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    I must live in fairy land. DH and I got married 3.5 weeks ago.

    DSD was 'best woman' and I took her out to buy her a dress and accessories a few weeks before. There was never any question of her not being invited or not wanting to come.

    I also asked my Dad to walk me down the isle - a tradition that I find repugnant as it represents the father passing the ownership of his daughter to her husband. However, I knew it would make my Dad happy so I did it and I did it happily.

    I also had a brother attend who I just cannot stand. Other than family get togethers we never speak to each other and even when we are at family get togethers it is only a polite hello and not much more. If I hadn't invited him my parents would have been upset so I invited him.

    I never looked at the wedding as 'it's all about me and DH', it was an opportunity for the family to come together and celebrate our relationship and family.

    I get that people might not want children of friends but to not invite nieces and nephews (especially when there are only a nominal number - perhaps a different situation if you had lots of them) seems, well, odd and rude.

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  14. #138
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    Quote Originally Posted by thepouts View Post
    So basically i have no right to be upset given that:

    a) My brother is not inviting his nieces because his fiancé doesn't want them there
    b) Other children are invited to the wedding, but mine aren't
    c) They are well aware there would be nobody to mind the children as all will be in attendance at the wedding. Her flippant comment of " her friend with all the kids can mind them" really reflects how much thought she put into it. That is a disrespectful and unthoughtful comment
    d) I was told they would be invited.

    Just because your DH doesn't care that he was not invited to his brother's wedding because they chose to celebrate it with her family only does not mean thats the norm. I would actually say that that whole scenario is wrong and abnormal in many ways and does not make him a great guy for putting his own feelings aside. And it really shows how his brother feels about his own family.

    Yes I am hurt and upset and they knew I would be but went ahead with it anyway. To me that reveals their true feelings about me and is a deal breaker. I have tried so hard and in many ways to put my brothers feelings ahead of mine but enough is enough.

    Oh and your 'guestzilla' comment was a little over the top.
    My guestzilla comment was tongue in cheek and was not about you personally but a general comment on the range of responses in the thread around the expectation of brides, families and guests in general.

    My DH situation is not something I was comparing to your situation but an example I was giving to show how differently people view weddings and the expectations that come with them. I am not saying my DH is a great guy for putting his feelings aside, I was simply saying that some people don't have feelings regarding these things - that does not make our situation abnormal or wrong it's just different and it is offensive that you have called it that and suggested that this says something about how my BIL feels about my DH. It doesn't they are extremely close, we just value different things.

    Lastly I think you do have a right to be upset, I have never said you didn't and I certainly agree with you that your SIL sounds very difficult and the relationship very strained. I feel for you OP but I also think you are doing exactly what you are complaining about with your SIL - threatening not to speak to your brother ever again is manipulative in nature and way over the top imo. I think you could speak to him one on one and really explain how you feel and how much it means to you to have your kids there. I think most people if they heard how much it meant to you would understand and change their mind through knowing its important to you rather than it being a threat.

    I'm going to bow out now. Good luck.

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  16. #139
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    LMAO at the honour of being invited!!!! Jeebus.

    And the tale of the baby that cried while the I do was being said.... I went to a wedding once where a bird screeched loudly throughout the whole ceremony. If only the bride and groom could have specified no birds!

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  18. #140
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    OP, how did your daughters feel when you told them they weren't going to wedding?

    For me, my nieces would have been heartbroken.

    I know it's their wedding day and they can do whatever they like, but I still just don't understand it. Maybe I'm just a softy.


 

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