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  1. #121
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    Quote Originally Posted by grumpybump View Post
    Really? Your husband didn't invite his son to his wedding?

    Wow. Just, wow.
    This thread is a serious eye opener. A PP also said that their DH wasn't invited to his brother wedding.
    I don't understand in what galaxy this would be ok? :O

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  3. #122
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    It's pretty simple
    Just tell them you can't go as you have no one to look after the kids.

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  5. #123
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    Quote Originally Posted by RipperRita View Post
    I have absolutely no doubt some members of both my family and dh's would of caused drama's on my wedding day (it had already started during the planning process) which is why dh chose at the last minute to elope (as well as a surprise pregnancy). It caused a massive drama for certain relatives who couldn't believe our "selfishness"...but my actual wedding day was pure bliss.... Just me, dh, ds (dd in my belly) and a beautiful day in Byron Bay. It was Perfect and I have no regrets. It was the most romantic day of my life.

    I get the bigger picture thing but sometimes you need to be selfish, love yourself enough to put yourself and your own needs first. Most of us only get one wedding and it's up there as one of the days you'll remember forever. You can't always live your life to make others happy...
    Completely agree. I'm another one who accepts and supports the decision made by the bride and groom.

    When my brother gets married, I imagine it will be child-free. Or they will elope.
    But if his fiancé wants to invite children who are older (8+) from her side, and my brother requests that my 3 don't come (my oldest being 7), it wouldn't bother me at all.
    I'd just want them to enjoy their day (and it's just one day - plenty of time for them to see my kids on other days in the future whenever we get to catch up!).


    ETA: Just adding "in the future" as I'm in the same boat as you OP (my brother lived interstate too and is working OS at the moment).
    Last edited by sky1; 14-07-2014 at 11:46.

  6. #124
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    Quote Originally Posted by ExcuseMyFrench View Post
    The honour? Seriously? Who are these people?
    It reminds me of the Sun King, some people had the honor of watching him pee or have this breakfast or else

    To me a wedding is about celebrating life and love, surrounded by friends and family that you love and that you need in your life.
    I felt so blessed to have so many beautiful people at my wedding, to see all their happy faces sharing the love, knowing that they had taken so much time choosing an outfit and preparing songs/talks/videos about us, so much money in attending our big day...

    This thread just blows my mind. I had no idea some people could be so vain about their big day.
    Because you get married you get to become a self focused person for a year? It's all about me-me-me?

    I have never heard about a child free wedding irl though - only on BH land.

    OP I believe you might be too soft on your brother. To me he is the one responsible for the way his family is mistreated.
    He choses his brief, he choses to put her needs ahead of his family, he choses to not come to Christmas, Easter etc.
    He chose not to put his foot down. It's easier to be angry with her as she is not family. She is the intruder and openly nasty too. But I believe it would be more productive so to speak to be curious with her and to call your brother out on his ****ty behavior.
    eg. Why isn't he coming for Christmas? His fiancé don't want to? Big deal, last time I checked they are still two separate persons/bodies and he should still come and spend time with his family
    With all this me me me they are really taking the joy out of watching them marry.

    Yes i am very angry and hurt that he follows her lead. He is his own man and responsible for his own actions. I am fed up and have had enough, hence why I am willing to cut ties with the both of them. Yes he is my brother and i love him but he does not treat me like a sister. It has been going on for the past 2.5 years and I can only foresee it becoming worse once they are married as they don't even live together yet.

  7. #125
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    Quote Originally Posted by sky1 View Post
    Completely agree. I'm another one who accepts and supports the decision made by the bride and groom.

    When my brother gets married, I imagine it will be child-free. Or they will elope. But if his fiancé wants to invite children who are older (8+) from her side, and my brother requests that my 3 don't come (my oldest being 7), it wouldn't bother me at all. I'd just want them to enjoy their day (as it is just one day and plenty of time for them to see my kids on other days and celebrations such as Christmas etc).
    We live interstate so its not like my brother gets to see his nieces often at all.

  8. #126
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    If you are getting married in your own city where people have easier access to babysitters etc then sure, have a kid free wedding. If you want to have a destination wedding, and then also stipulate no kids - well, you are going to get a lot of people's noses out of joint, and rightly so. I don't agree with the whole "its an honour to be invited" - what bs - how special do couples think they are - Kate and Wills!?! Why should I feel like I am being "honoured" because I got an invite to a wedding? Gees. I don't expect people to feel "honoured" when they get an invite to my kids 1st birthday nor should they when I got married - just come and have a good time and celebrate with us. Isn't that what it should be about?

    Why is there so much silliness involved with weddings?

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  10. #127
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    Quote Originally Posted by ExcuseMyFrench View Post
    This thread is a serious eye opener. A PP also said that their DH wasn't invited to his brother wedding.
    I don't understand in what galaxy this would be ok? :O
    That was my DH. DH is a very relaxed sort of a guy, he just isn't bothered about things like this. It's not worth it, there are bigger things than this, like him having a relationship with his brother. It's fine in our galaxy We are happy for them and love them regardless and tbh I couldn't think of many more petty things to stop talk to a family member over.

    Fwiw we had kids at our wedding because it was important for our guests so it was important for us. We talk about bridezillas all the time, this thread has unearthed the guestzilla.

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  12. #128
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    Quote Originally Posted by thepouts View Post
    With all this me me me they are really taking the joy out of watching them marry.
    Sorry they are taking away your joy OP but I think they are not the only people guilty of "me me me" here.

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  14. #129
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    Quote Originally Posted by grumpybump View Post
    Really? Your husband didn't invite his son to his wedding?

    Wow. Just, wow.
    Of course we invited him! We wanted him to be DH's his "best man" and stand beside him during the ceremony. We didn't have any attendants so SS would have been standing up there with both of us. But SS didn't want to be a part of it. I don't mind telling you that hurt both DH and I quite a bit but he was only 7 so it would have been hard for him to understand that side of it.

    We didn't want to force him into something he wasn't keen on and I'm sure his mum would have had something to say about it if we'd tried. I guess being young and having been to a few family weddings in the past that SS had found boring, he didn't want to go. We accepted it and made our plans accordingly.

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  16. #130
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    Quote Originally Posted by babyla View Post
    Sorry they are taking away your joy OP but I think they are not the only people guilty of "me me me" here.
    So basically i have no right to be upset given that:

    a) My brother is not inviting his nieces because his fiancé doesn't want them there
    b) Other children are invited to the wedding, but mine aren't
    c) They are well aware there would be nobody to mind the children as all will be in attendance at the wedding. Her flippant comment of " her friend with all the kids can mind them" really reflects how much thought she put into it. That is a disrespectful and unthoughtful comment
    d) I was told they would be invited.

    Just because your DH doesn't care that he was not invited to his brother's wedding because they chose to celebrate it with her family only does not mean thats the norm. I would actually say that that whole scenario is wrong and abnormal in many ways and does not make him a great guy for putting his own feelings aside. And it really shows how his brother feels about his own family.

    Yes I am hurt and upset and they knew I would be but went ahead with it anyway. To me that reveals their true feelings about me and is a deal breaker. I have tried so hard and in many ways to put my brothers feelings ahead of mine but enough is enough.

    Oh and your 'guestzilla' comment was a little over the top.

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