It's pretty simple
Just tell them you can't go as you have no one to look after the kids.
When my brother gets married, I imagine it will be child-free. Or they will elope.
But if his fiancé wants to invite children who are older (8+) from her side, and my brother requests that my 3 don't come (my oldest being 7), it wouldn't bother me at all.
I'd just want them to enjoy their day (and it's just one day - plenty of time for them to see my kids on other days in the future whenever we get to catch up!).
ETA: Just adding "in the future" as I'm in the same boat as you OP (my brother lived interstate too and is working OS at the moment).
Last edited by sky1; 14-07-2014 at 10:46.
Yes i am very angry and hurt that he follows her lead. He is his own man and responsible for his own actions. I am fed up and have had enough, hence why I am willing to cut ties with the both of them. Yes he is my brother and i love him but he does not treat me like a sister. It has been going on for the past 2.5 years and I can only foresee it becoming worse once they are married as they don't even live together yet.
If you are getting married in your own city where people have easier access to babysitters etc then sure, have a kid free wedding. If you want to have a destination wedding, and then also stipulate no kids - well, you are going to get a lot of people's noses out of joint, and rightly so. I don't agree with the whole "its an honour to be invited" - what bs - how special do couples think they are - Kate and Wills!?! Why should I feel like I am being "honoured" because I got an invite to a wedding? Gees. I don't expect people to feel "honoured" when they get an invite to my kids 1st birthday nor should they when I got married - just come and have a good time and celebrate with us. Isn't that what it should be about?
Why is there so much silliness involved with weddings?
Fwiw we had kids at our wedding because it was important for our guests so it was important for us. We talk about bridezillas all the time, this thread has unearthed the guestzilla.
We didn't want to force him into something he wasn't keen on and I'm sure his mum would have had something to say about it if we'd tried. I guess being young and having been to a few family weddings in the past that SS had found boring, he didn't want to go. We accepted it and made our plans accordingly.
a) My brother is not inviting his nieces because his fiancé doesn't want them there
b) Other children are invited to the wedding, but mine aren't
c) They are well aware there would be nobody to mind the children as all will be in attendance at the wedding. Her flippant comment of " her friend with all the kids can mind them" really reflects how much thought she put into it. That is a disrespectful and unthoughtful comment
d) I was told they would be invited.
Just because your DH doesn't care that he was not invited to his brother's wedding because they chose to celebrate it with her family only does not mean thats the norm. I would actually say that that whole scenario is wrong and abnormal in many ways and does not make him a great guy for putting his own feelings aside. And it really shows how his brother feels about his own family.
Yes I am hurt and upset and they knew I would be but went ahead with it anyway. To me that reveals their true feelings about me and is a deal breaker. I have tried so hard and in many ways to put my brothers feelings ahead of mine but enough is enough.
Oh and your 'guestzilla' comment was a little over the top.
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