+ Reply to Thread
Page 12 of 22 FirstFirst ... 21011121314 ... LastLast
Results 111 to 120 of 214
  1. #111
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    3,202
    Thanks
    1,702
    Thanked
    2,424
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    I've read all the replies and after seeing many wedding threads on this site I have come to the conclusion that I call bullshiz on the argument "it's their day they can do what they want". Rubbish. Weddings are not just about the bride and groom; it's about family. If people can't see how their decisions about who they invite or don't invite hurt people in their immediate family then sorry but they are being selfish.

    I know because I was when we got married. I put my foot down about who could or couldn't come and DH overruled me. And I'm glad he did as the people I was concerned about didn't impact on our day in the slightest, and it made his parents very happy that they were there.

    And yes we had kids (my nieces and nephews).

    Sometimes it's about a bigger picture.
    I have absolutely no doubt some members of both my family and dh's would of caused drama's on my wedding day (it had already started during the planning process) which is why dh chose at the last minute to elope (as well as a surprise pregnancy). It caused a massive drama for certain relatives who couldn't believe our "selfishness"...but my actual wedding day was pure bliss.... Just me, dh, ds (dd in my belly) and a beautiful day in Byron Bay. It was Perfect and I have no regrets. It was the most romantic day of my life.

    I get the bigger picture thing but sometimes you need to be selfish, love yourself enough to put yourself and your own needs first. Most of us only get one wedding and it's up there as one of the days you'll remember forever. You can't always live your life to make others happy...
    Last edited by RipperRita; 14-07-2014 at 10:41.

  2. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to RipperRita For This Useful Post:

    sky1  (14-07-2014),TheGooch  (14-07-2014)

  3. #112
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    1,925
    Thanks
    521
    Thanked
    376
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    As mentioned earlier... Have the wedding without an audience/ guests if it's all about the bride and groom and 'their special day'. If you don't want to accommodate your guests then what's the point of having them there?

    If they want a child free wedding, fair enough, but they should be fully aware that this places limitations on you and your family and you may not be able to attend. I think I'd rather have children in attendance than not have my closest family members there. JMO.
    Last edited by Ra Ra Superstar; 14-07-2014 at 10:42.

  4. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Ra Ra Superstar For This Useful Post:

    A-Squared  (14-07-2014),AdornedWithCats  (14-07-2014),Starfish30  (14-07-2014),thepouts  (14-07-2014)

  5. #113
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    3,245
    Thanks
    2,512
    Thanked
    1,249
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    We had a child free ceremony and wedding breakfast (only 38 people invited) but then invited children (and other guests including friends etc) to the evening reception (there was an extra buffet). There were a couple of people who didn't come because of it but that was their choice and it didn't upset me, I knew that was the risk with having no children.

  6. #114
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    At the beach
    Posts
    10,495
    Thanks
    1,430
    Thanked
    9,004
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 17/10/14100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by RipperRita View Post
    I have absolutely no doubt some members of both my family and dh's would of caused drama's on my wedding day (it had already started during the planning process) which is why dh chose at the last minute to elope (as well as a surprise pregnancy). It caused a massive drama for certain relatives who couldn't believe our "selfishness"...but my actual wedding day was pure bliss.... Just me, dh, ds (dd in my belly) and a beautiful day in Byron Bay. It was Perfect and I have no regrets. It was the most romantic day of my life.

    I get the bigger picture thing but sometimes you need to be selfish, love yourself enough to put yourself and your own needs first. Most of us only get one wedding and it's up there as one of the days you'll remember forever. You can't always live your life to make others happy...
    I have no issue with this at all. I just think cherry picking guests can be cruel. There's a mature way to handle these things and in the case of the OP it sound like it's been handled very badly.

    My thoughts are only my thoughts and are in no way a one size fits all. But all things being equal the way some weddings are organised makes me glad most of my friends didn't bother.

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to Sonja For This Useful Post:

    RipperRita  (14-07-2014)

  8. #115
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    2,478
    Thanks
    179
    Thanked
    784
    Reviews
    8
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Mum2b87 View Post
    Disagree it's about the bride and groom not family, the family have the honour of being there it's not their wedding
    And what exactly is the honour guests should be feeling?

    There are people invited to the wedding which they have nothing to do with and have been invited purely to keep the peace. Example: My step sister and her boyfriend are invited. My brother does not speak to either of them and the bride cannot stand her. Yet I guess if they were not invited then it wouldn't be very likely my dad and step-mum would be willing to hand over the $$$ the bride to be is expecting from them.

    So no, it is not always an honour to be invited to a wedding.

  9. #116
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    1,106
    Thanks
    128
    Thanked
    949
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Cat74 View Post
    My DH has a child from a previous marriage and we didn't even have him at our wedding, let alone any other children. When we told SS, who was 7 at the time, that we were getting married his response was "weddings are boring".

    From that point on we decided that a child-free wedding was the way to go as we figured if he felt that way it was quite likely some of our friends children would feel exactly the same. As it turned out all of our friends were more than happy to find babysitters for the night so they could kick up their heels a bit.

    Ultimately it's the bride and groom who decide how they want to celebrate their day and you have to respect their wishes, whether or not you agree with them.
    Really? Your husband didn't invite his son to his wedding?

    Wow. Just, wow.

  10. The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to grumpybump For This Useful Post:

    AdornedWithCats  (14-07-2014),GlitterFarts  (14-07-2014),haveheart  (15-07-2014),Little Boys Blue  (14-07-2014),LotusMum  (14-07-2014),munchkin275  (14-07-2014),NoteToSelf  (14-07-2014),Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (14-07-2014)

  11. #117
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    1,354
    Thanks
    706
    Thanked
    1,950
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    When my mum asked my brother why his response was "I just want *** to have a nice day".

    This. He wants his wife to have a nice day. If that to them means no kids under the age of 8 then its their call. He has chosen this girl to be his wife. He doesn't need your approval or permission. I can understand why you are upset but to not talk to him again seems a bit childish, what do you want to do, stamp your feet and then your kids get invited? Its their day, not yours

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to Molros For This Useful Post:

    TheGooch  (14-07-2014)

  13. #118
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    4,322
    Thanks
    1,552
    Thanked
    2,539
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by Mum2b87 View Post
    Disagree it's about the bride and groom not family, the family have the honour of being there it's not their wedding
    The honour? Seriously? Who are these people?
    It reminds me of the Sun King, some people had the honor of watching him pee or have this breakfast or else

    To me a wedding is about celebrating life and love, surrounded by friends and family that you love and that you need in your life.
    I felt so blessed to have so many beautiful people at my wedding, to see all their happy faces sharing the love, knowing that they had taken so much time choosing an outfit and preparing songs/talks/videos about us, so much money in attending our big day...

    This thread just blows my mind. I had no idea some people could be so vain about their big day.
    Because you get married you get to become a self focused person for a year? It's all about me-me-me?

    I have never heard about a child free wedding irl though - only on BH land.

    @thepouts I believe you might be too soft on your brother. To me he is the one responsible for the way his family is mistreated.
    He choses his bride, he choses to put her needs ahead of his family, he choses to not come to Christmas, Easter etc.
    He chose not to put his foot down. It's easier to be angry with her as she is not family. She is the intruder and openly nasty too. But I believe it would be more productive so to speak to be curious with her and to call your brother out on his ****ty behavior.
    eg. Why isn't he coming for Christmas? His fiancé don't want to? Big deal, last time I checked they are still two separate persons/bodies and he should still come and spend time with his family
    Last edited by ExcuseMyFrench; 14-07-2014 at 11:02.

  14. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to ExcuseMyFrench For This Useful Post:

    Busy-Bee  (14-07-2014),NoteToSelf  (14-07-2014),Pearlygirl  (14-07-2014),Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (14-07-2014)

  15. #119
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    2,478
    Thanks
    179
    Thanked
    784
    Reviews
    8
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Cat74 View Post
    My DH has a child from a previous marriage and we didn't even have him at our wedding, let alone any other children. When we told SS, who was 7 at the time, that we were getting married his response was "weddings are boring".

    From that point on we decided that a child-free wedding was the way to go as we figured if he felt that way it was quite likely some of our friends children would feel exactly the same. As it turned out all of our friends were more than happy to find babysitters for the night so they could kick up their heels a bit.

    Ultimately it's the bride and groom who decide how they want to celebrate their day and you have to respect their wishes, whether or not you agree with them.
    Wow i cannot believe your DH did not invite his own son to his wedding. My ex did not invite our daughter when he married. IMO she should have been a flower girl.

    Pretty poor effort in the merging of blended families.

  16. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to thepouts For This Useful Post:

    GlitterFarts  (14-07-2014),haveheart  (15-07-2014),PipersMummy  (14-07-2014)

  17. #120
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    1,054
    Thanks
    458
    Thanked
    433
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Haven't read the previous posts just replying to op. I would be gutted if one of my siblings did the same, my sister had a semi kid free wedding in that family was invited and friends kids weren't, made much more sense as the whole family was there so who was going to baby sit? I personally don't like kid free weddings or anything to that affect, generally i would find a baby sitter anyway but to be told I can't bring my kids really gets my goat so I wouldn't go.

    I hope you can come to some kind of arrangement with your brother. Hugs.


 

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 3
    Last Post: 22-01-2014, 22:51
  2. Replies: 26
    Last Post: 14-01-2014, 09:19
  3. What would you do with a CHILD FREE day??!!
    By 2boofulgals in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 16-08-2013, 21:55

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Babybee Prams
Save $50 in our pre-Christmas sale! All Comet's now only $500. Our bassinet & stroller set includes free shipping AUS wide, $75 free accessories, 18-months warranty & a 9 month free return policy. Check out our new designer range today!
sales & new stuffsee all
True Fairies
True Fairies is the first interactive website where children can engage and speak with a real fairy through the unique webcam fairy portal. Each session is tailored to the child, and is filled with enchantment and magic.
Visit website to find out more!
featured supporter
L'il Aussie Prems Foundation
An Australian charity supporting families of premature babies & children. The charity assists families who are at high risk of giving birth prematurely, who have babies currently in hospital and families with toddlers who were born too soon.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!