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I get the distinct impression the SIL will be thrilled with the no speakies threat and desperately hoping you follow through, OP.
I don't think it would be anything personal towards the kids, it's more a case of wanting to enjoy their special day without interruptions.
This whole issue has stemmed from her BUT he is just as much to blame because he is going along with it which is why I am so hurt.
I am not just upset that my kids are not invited to a wedding,I would like a night out just as much as everybody else. It's not a child free wedding because other children are invited' mine aren't. When my mum asked my brother why his response was "I just want *** to have a nice day". So yeah my family is being singled out and I am super hurt.
I was in the same situation...my bro got married and we were told no children so DH couldnt go...we dont have any other family except my mum who was obviously going to the wedding. I was ok with it i guess as they are not kid people but when we got there, the brides nephew (her brother's child) was there. That really hurt as it felt like my kids were excluded and others werent.
I feel your pain.
I've read all the replies and after seeing many wedding threads on this site I have come to the conclusion that I call bullshiz on the argument "it's their day they can do what they want". Rubbish. Weddings are not just about the bride and groom; it's about family. If people can't see how their decisions about who they invite or don't invite hurt people in their immediate family then sorry but they are being selfish.
I know because I was when we got married. I put my foot down about who could or couldn't come and DH overruled me. And I'm glad he did as the people I was concerned about didn't impact on our day in the slightest, and it made his parents very happy that they were there.
And yes we had kids (my nieces and nephews).
Sometimes it's about a bigger picture.
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Disagree it's about the bride and groom not family, the family have the honour of being there it's not their wedding
My DH has a child from a previous marriage and we didn't even have him at our wedding, let alone any other children. When we told SS, who was 7 at the time, that we were getting married his response was "weddings are boring".
From that point on we decided that a child-free wedding was the way to go as we figured if he felt that way it was quite likely some of our friends children would feel exactly the same. As it turned out all of our friends were more than happy to find babysitters for the night so they could kick up their heels a bit.
Ultimately it's the bride and groom who decide how they want to celebrate their day and you have to respect their wishes, whether or not you agree with them.
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