I don't want/expect any replies, I just need to get this out and this is the only place I can do it.
I have 3 younger sisters- 1 half sister and 2 step sisters. Without going into a lot of detail (we would be here all day), my step sisters have only been back in our lives for a few years after their mum moved them interstate and cut contact with my step dad (their dad) and my mum. They found my half sister on fb (she is the youngest of us all), and have since rebuilt the relationship with our family.
Now for the vent. I love my step sisters but I am so over them getting everything handed to them by my mum and step dad. At first I put it down to the fact they were trying to rebuild that relationship and let it go, but these issues are on going even after a number of years, and now its having a negative impact on my half sister as well. Example. We went on a family holiday a few years ago. I mention to my mum that I was going to get my second daughters name tattooed on me. She went off her tree saying no way in hell will she allow it (I was 21 at the time), and even went as far to say she forbids it. Ok fine. My step sister and I were talking not long after and I mentioned it and she goes "oh really? She was going to take me and we were getting tattoos together" (she was 17 at the time). Sure enough a few weeks later they went and got tattoos together. Then mum and step dad paid for my other step sisters first year of uni. All good, I was annoyed but let it go. My step dad then paid for the 3 of them to spend a week over in thailand after I jad mentioned I would like to go over one day. And on it went. My half sister confided in me how she felt she was being pushed out because everything seemed to revolve around step sisters. So I spoke to mum about it, told her I understood how excited they are that the other 2 girls are back etc, but this is how my half sister and I feel. She hit back with we are selfish spoiled brats and need to get over ourselves.
When dh and I separated, I had nothing except the clothes I could fit in a suitcase. I received little support emotionally from my mum, except her saying "you got yourself into this, you deal with it" (referring to me having my first daughter a week before my 19th birthday). And that was it. I started studying and still recieved no help, paid for all my study costs, childcare, plus normal bills etc on my single parent pension. Meanwhile my step sister started uni and all the costs were paid for by mum and step dad (as mentioned above), she was living at home still and working full time with no kids plus had her mum paying for all her expenses even though she was working. I didnt expect any financial help from them but to know they helped her and didnt even offer any form of help to me hurt.
Then my step sister started dating a guy that worked for my step dad. They thought it was great. However I met dh exactly the same way and was actually disowned by my mum and step dad. When asked by a friend how he felt about his daughter falling love with a guy who worked for him (referring to step sister), my step dad said "you can't help who you fall in love with". While I was standing right beside him, after all the **** I went through when I started dating dh, and yet its ok for her. They broke up and she met someone else. They got pregnant and it was the greatest thing ever according to mum and step dad. Yet each of my pregnancies (even after dh and I got married), I was told I was an idiot and mum got angry and didnt speak to me for weeks.
Step sisters mum bought her her own salon which has been very successful. And good on her, am genuinely happy for her. She recently split with her boyfriend (father of her baby). They are still together but living separately. I recently found out my step dad and mum have been sending her a few hundred dollars a week to help her out. Even though she owns her own successful business and is doing very well for herself and again has her mum paying a lot of her expenses. Yet when I split from dh and had nothing, I was told I was on my own. This one is the obe that hurts the most. Although I am proud of myself that I did do it on my own and its satisfying knowing I achieved a lot without any help.
There are so many smaller things but these are the main ones. It sounds petty but it hurts. A lot. My half sister actually stood up for me in regards to them helping my step sister but not me when I needed it. And she was absolutely crucified for it. She has since stopped all contact with the other girls, as far as she is concerned I am her only sister. She has tried speaking to mum and step dad about it all but gets the same response I did- we are self centred spoiled brats and need to get over ourselves.
Sorry for the novel, just needed to get it off my chest. Thanks to anyone who read the whole thing.
He + Me = dd1 (July 2007), dd2 (July 2010), dd3 (August 2012), dd4 (May 2014)
Embrace the chaos