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  1. #41
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    I agree with @meredithgrey about finding a way to feed in the OP's own bedroom.

    As for co-sleeping with a newborn when exhausted, DD1 nearly suffocated when she was around 5 weeks old because I fell asleep while feeding in bed and she slipped under the doona. It terrified me. the biggest danger is accidental co-sleeping.

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  3. #42
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    I'm not trying to badger the OP into co-sleeping but I sense she is about to crack and I wanted to suggest a couple more options. I've been there when you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel and no one can give you a definitive answer on when things will improve.

    If you feed lying down in bed the doona/blankets should remain no higher than your waist or even thighs. Put a warm jumper on that unzips down the front, donna as low as possible, or not at all. No pillows anywhere near bubs head, maybe one behind them. Now, if you are worried that you might roll and squash b bubs can you get your DH to keep an eye on you?

    As I said, I don't mean to ram co-sleeping and if it's just not an option for you for what ever reason then I apologise for continuing to post this as a suggestion.

    Would your baby sleep in the car? Could DH take the baby for a drive whilst you get some sleep?

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  5. #43
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    Hugs op you must be so tired!
    It is really hard work in the beginning but does get easier. I have used nipple shields with both my bubs with my first I did switch to formula as I was told the shield was giving him wind. The formula made it worse ds had reflux.
    I am still feeding dd with a shield now at 15 months and it is very difficult to feed in any other position then sitting up with it on. Regarding your nipples have you had bub checked for a tongue tie?
    I found dd never had any problems using a dummy or bottle of ebm I think due to the silicone shield. When both my bubs were newborns they had a pattern of sleep feed play feed sleep, awake time of about 45mins-1hr it wasn't a routine as such just their pattern. Have you tried a swing through the day at all? Good luck I hope you can get a bit of sleep ASAP!!

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    Will he transfer to your partner? In the early days I'd head to bed at about 7pm and DH would bring DD in to me if need be, I'd feed and then he'd take her, burp her and put her in the bassinet or just cuddle her while she slept so I could at least get some sleep until 10 when I'd take back over. He then would take her in the early morning hours. I originally started off feeding in the lounge room because I didn't want to wake him overnight but I found it was waking both of us up more. i was okay to feed sitting up in bed reading on the iPad or playing on facebook and then it was just a quick transfer to the bassinet

    I do remember vaguely that when I used to feed in the lounge room I'd take the bassinet out there and try to transfer her quickly into that.

    Do you have a breastfeeding pillow? I found she fell asleep mainly on that so I was able to carefully transfer her over to hubby while still on the pillow?

    DH also baby wore a bit as well - and that used to be a bit of an alternative to bub sleeping on me

    Big hugs - it's a massive adjustment and even though I had this vague idea that having a newbie was tough I had no idea what that meant in reality.

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  8. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by Busy-Bee View Post
    I'm not trying to badger the OP into co-sleeping but I sense she is about to crack and I wanted to suggest a couple more options. I've been there when you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel and no one can give you a definitive answer on when things will improve.

    If you feed lying down in bed the doona/blankets should remain no higher than your waist or even thighs. Put a warm jumper on that unzips down the front, donna as low as possible, or not at all. No pillows anywhere near bubs head, maybe one behind them. Now, if you are worried that you might roll and squash b bubs can you get your DH to keep an eye on you?

    As I said, I don't mean to ram co-sleeping and if it's just not an option for you for what ever reason then I apologise for continuing to post this as a suggestion.

    Would your baby sleep in the car? Could DH take the baby for a drive whilst you get some sleep?
    Yes sorry I wasn't being negative about co-sleeping, more about accidental co-sleeping which comes about from exhaustion and not knowing how to do it safely.

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  10. #46
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    How dud you go last night Op?

    Aee you getting any rest during the day?

    Can you feed in bed or couch during the day and let him rest of you, whilst your dh is watching over you both?

    Im sorry its so hard. It really is, we've all been there but it does pass.


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    I hope your night went OK Heartstringz. You never realise just how long 12 hours of darkness can feel until you have an unsettled newborn.

    There has been lots of wonderful, varying advice already and you have probably noticed that what works for one parent/baby does nothing to help another.

    If you find yourself trying everything but nothing changes, don't beat yourself up, you are doing your best and do (or don't do) whatever you need to in order to cope in the early weeks. Some babies respond to different techniques, some babies just need time.

    Those early weeks feel like forever at the time, a blur of screaming, sleep deprivation and poo and spew flying across the room and all over you. In the bigger picture though, it really is such a short time and at times the thought that 'I just need to get through the next hour/day/week' is all that you can cling to to keep you from losing the plot. But it really (really!) does get better.

    My nightmare newborn who gave me 8 weeks of hell is now a gorgeous 6 year old and I'd live those 8 weeks 10 times over just to have her. (My 2nd bub was an easy baby, so I now appreciate just how much hard work she actually was.)

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    Yes it's very hard, sleep deprivation is a form of torture, but it WILL pass. I promise (have been there twice now!). Try to cut back on absolutely everything during the day i.e. have easy meals, forget about cleaning as much as possible, don't go out. Your babe is only a week old, life will be back on track in a few more weeks or months' time.

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    Thanks for the advice everyone! I have been reading all your tips & will try some of them out

    We had a much better night last night - we left a radio on in our room & swaddled him differently (left his arms out) & it seemed to make a huge difference. He slept really well last night!

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    Quote Originally Posted by heartstringz View Post
    Thanks for the advice everyone! I have been reading all your tips & will try some of them out

    We had a much better night last night - we left a radio on in our room & swaddled him differently (left his arms out) & it seemed to make a huge difference. He slept really well last night!

    Sent from my SM-T210 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    So good to hear! It's amazing what a couple of hours sleep can do. I bet you feel almost like a new woman haha! Hang in there,


    ME 28 Mild endo, Mild pcos : DH 33
    TTC # 1 : 3 years : OI x 3 BFN 2012 : IUI x 3 BFN 2012 IVF # 1 BFP! 2013 DS 29/9/13


 

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