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  1. #121
    MilkingMaid's Avatar
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    The way I did it with my eldest was that I had him beside the wall. I had his ownn set of blankets and everything so that any movement I made with mine didn't affect him. I also moved my pillow down a little to make absolutely sure my blankets would not accidentally interfere with him.

    I put rolled up towels at the edge of the bed beside the wall so there was no way he could accidentally get a leg or arm slipped down beside the bed and wedged.

    When you suss it all out, and get confident with it, it really works amazingly well, and is an absolute life saver as far as sleep and peace of mind goes.

    There is an amazing book called "three in a bed" all about co-sleeping.

    Dr James McKenna is a sleep researcher and co-sleeping advocate, I love this article of his: Babies need their mothers beside them

    http://www.naturalchild.org/james_mc...bies_need.html

    Safe co-sleeping guidelines:

    http://kellymom.com/parenting/nighttime/familybed/

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  3. #122
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    Thanks everyone!

    I just read that babies shouldnt be swaddled or have their arms wrapped in when co-sleeping - but DS wont sleep unless his arms are wrapped in otherwise he wakes himself up. We've tried wrapping & sleeping bags with arms out as we thought it might soothe him but it doesnt - he just constantly startles himself awake

    Help - how can we cosleep??

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  4. #123
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    I definitely swaddled and wrapped when I co-slept. You really just have to make it work for you, and just be sensible about it really...

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  6. #124
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    I ended up trying all variations.

    When you say he wakes himself up, is that after a sleep cycle or does he just not go to sleep unless he's swaddled? It is quite common for babies to wake themselves up after a sleep cycle (usually around 40 minutes) but a warm boob and mummy snuggles will often get them back to sleep.

    If you don't want to swaddle and co-sleep then try it without. It might take a few goes but remember bubs is also learning what the 4 dangly things are on his body. Right now he still doesn't get that he is a separate entity from you.

    Have you figured out how to feed laying down in bed? It took me quite a few days to get the hang of it but to say it was worth the perseverance is quite an understatement! It saved me.

    ETA: Just wanted to say well done for hanging in there. Having been there with a perma-feeding, non-sleeping baby I remember how much I wanted to tell the world to "EFF OFF, this is not what the text book says!!!!!".
    Last edited by Busy-Bee; 30-07-2014 at 09:01.

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  8. #125
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    Ok thanks!

    Probably a stupid question, but how do I go to the toilet if I cant put him down? Yesterday whenever I went to the toilet or got food & I put him in his rocker he basically screamed for the next hour or so & he would not stop unless I fed him (even if he'd just been fed). He wouldnt take his dummy.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Busy-Bee View Post
    I ended up trying all variations.

    When you say he wakes himself up, is that after a sleep cycle or does he just not go to sleep unless he's swaddled? It is quite common for babies to wake themselves up after a sleep cycle (usually around 40 minutes) but a warm boob and mummy snuggles will often get them back to sleep.

    If you don't want to swaddle and co-sleep then try it without. It might take a few goes but remember bubs is also learning what the 4 dangly things are on his body. Right now he still doesn't get that he is a separate entity from you.

    Have you figured out how to feed laying down in bed? It took me quite a few days to get the hang of it but to say it was worth the perseverance is quite an understatement! It saved me.

    ETA: Just wanted to say well done for hanging in there. Having been there with a perma-feeding, non-sleeping baby I remember how much I wanted to tell the world to "EFF OFF, this is not what the text book says!!!!!".
    Ok thanks will give it another go. Im not sure if its part of his sleep cycle

    I tried feeding lying down once when he was really new but I need more practice

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  10. #127
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    Quote Originally Posted by heartstringz View Post
    Ok thanks!

    Probably a stupid question, but how do I go to the toilet if I cant put him down? Yesterday whenever I went to the toilet or got food & I put him in his rocker he basically screamed for the next hour or so & he would not stop unless I fed him (even if he'd just been fed). He wouldnt take his dummy.

    Sent from my SM-T210 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    Sometimes you're going to have to let them cry and unless you can master going to the toilet one handed or wearing bubs in a sling, this is one of those times. It's one of those times when your needs trump baby's needs. We need to toilet, it's not much fun perma-feeding but is sucks if you're sitting there busting for a pee! Don't be afraid to give bubs a feed to calm them down - it's one of the advantages of breastfeeding, boobs can solve many issues!! They can feed to sleep, feed to calm baby, feed to distract and of course, feed to nourish!

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    Feeding lying down is definitely a mastery skill, but like riding a bike once you finally work it out it is easy. Took me months to get it right with my 1st but I could do it straight away with my 2nd thanks to that experience.

    I might be the only one, but I'm definitely guilty of transporting baby on boob to sit on toilet or make a cuppa. You get very good at doing things one handed. I didn't get a sling until my 1st was nearly 8 weeks. Until then I think lunch every day was a slice of cheese between two bits of plain bread - it was all I could make with one hand!

    I'd highly recommend a hug-a-bub style carrier. It looks like an origami lesson to tie it, I was so scared at first, but it's surprisingly not that hard after a bit of YouTube, and amazingly secure.

  13. #129
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    Re: the toilet, my boys were OK in one of those bouncy seats, so I'd be in the loo with them in the bouncy seat at my feet, they could see me, be talked to, and given the odd bounce with my foot as well.

    Oh the things you do to be able to go to the loo with a newborn!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by MilkingMaid View Post
    Re: the toilet, my boys were OK in one of those bouncy seats, so I'd be in the loo with them in the bouncy seat at my feet, they could see me, be talked to, and given the odd bounce with my foot as well.

    Oh the things you do to be able to go to the loo with a newborn!!
    That's a good point re the bouncer. I only had a bouncer with my very needy DD and it was one of the few places she would sleep/relax off me (while foot bouncing her.

    I got a swing as well for DS hoping it would do the work for me. DS, who was such a content baby, hated the swing! Loved the bouncer again though.


 

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