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  1. #41
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    MrsTickle I know how you feel. I felt the same way. So I decided to go back to work when my son was 15 mths old. I regretted it. Spent the first week crying so much because I'd gone back too soon. I opted to do 7 days a fortnight. Had I of known I could've cancelled my return to work and delayed it I would have. I wasn't ready to emotionally let go. My son seemed fine and didn't seem like he missed me. So I cried every night for the first week. A fee weeks later I dropped down to 2 days a week. I felt guilty everyday I went to work. Then after 1 year back at work I decided to quit. fast Forward 9 Months later and I ended Up back at work cause my husband became a full time student. I know work casually and can choose to work if I want to and if I don't want to then I don't. I still feel guilty leaving him even though he's with my mother in law. But feeling guilty is my issue not anyone else's. My point is don't rush into it. I did. I thought going back to work would solve my problems of loneliness and getting out of the rut of everyday housework etc. I longed to work and stop being a sham. ......but it didn't pan out that way. I should have eased into it instead of going back 7 days a fortnight. I now realize that I'm only suited to part time work. So if it's something u want to do then please ease into it so you can gradually adjust. You have 3 kids so you'll be busy when you get home regardless of how many days you work.

    Hope you can speak to your husband about how you feel and work something out.

  2. #42
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    It is hard.

    I have to admit I grew to like being a SAHM - but it was a super hard adjustment. Reliquishing control over my day and how it would go was a really hard for me to accept.

    That no matter how "good at my job" I was, I could not determined whether or not I would have a good day or a bad day. It was so totally dependant on someone else ... someone who could not communicate whether I was doing right, wrong or otherwise.

    Its not for everyone

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  4. #43
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    My thoughts on the opening post are that most of the issues raised are not due to being a SAHM mum and would still be present if you undertook paid employment. For example, the issues with your unsupportive husband and the health/behavioural/language issues with your son. If you began to work outside of the home there would still be housework to do, your son would have the same issues, etc.

    You can still be a SAHM mum and wear nice clothes and spend time with friends who you enjoy being with.

    My advice:

    Sort out your issues with your husband
    Either hire a cleaner or sort out a cleaning roster so you only have to do an hour or so a day.
    Stop watching ABC for kids if you despise it so much
    Put on some nice clothes and do your hair

    Dont blame your issues on being a SAHM mum because they would still exist regardless of whether you took part in paid employment.

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  6. #44
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    I can totally relate to you OP!
    I am at the point where I feel I have lost my identity, who am I now?
    When dd was 15months I went back tp work part time. My relationship with dd and dh became better. Then I was made redundant and fell pregnant with ds just as I was ready to go back to work full time and be me again, feel like I was contributing to the family in some way.

    Yes I could put a nice dress on and some make up but it's so much more than that. For some being a SAHM you sometimes do feel like you are invisible to your family and not appreciated.
    I always wanted to be a sahm but once I was I found I didnt enjoy it as much and would prefer to work 2-3 days a week. Ds is 12weeks and I would like to find some casual work but the guilt of leaving him kills me its like you can never win once your a mum. You either feel guilty or get judged by others

    Sent from my GT-I9195T using The Bub Hub mobile app

  7. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by TeBe View Post
    My thoughts on the opening post are that most of the issues raised are not due to being a SAHM mum and would still be present if you undertook paid employment. For example, the issues with your unsupportive husband and the health/behavioural/language issues with your son. If you began to work outside of the home there would still be housework to do, your son would have the same issues, etc.

    You can still be a SAHM mum and wear nice clothes and spend time with friends who you enjoy being with.

    My advice:

    Sort out your issues with your husband
    Either hire a cleaner or sort out a cleaning roster so you only have to do an hour or so a day.
    Stop watching ABC for kids if you despise it so much
    Put on some nice clothes and do your hair

    Dont blame your issues on being a SAHM mum because they would still exist regardless of whether you took part in paid employment.
    Whilst I see where you are coming from. .. If you want to work out of the home and enjoy it. .. It can bring some balance into your life where you get career fulfillment which can make some issues either easier to deal with or go away.
    Those of us who aren't cut out to stay home. .. like me, but have needed to for various reasons will find they have better balance in their lives because they're doing something for them. If you get what I mean.
    I'm about to start part time work. I can't wait. I've had to be home with my DD and I know I'm grumpy and less fulfilled right now. . Which exacerbates other issues that might not be as bad. I know life will be busier but I know I'll be a better wife and mummy with doing something for me.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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  9. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by TeBe View Post
    My thoughts on the opening post are that most of the issues raised are not due to being a SAHM mum and would still be present if you undertook paid employment. For example, the issues with your unsupportive husband and the health/behavioural/language issues with your son. If you began to work outside of the home there would still be housework to do, your son would have the same issues, etc.

    You can still be a SAHM mum and wear nice clothes and spend time with friends who you enjoy being with.

    My advice:

    Sort out your issues with your husband
    Either hire a cleaner or sort out a cleaning roster so you only have to do an hour or so a day.
    Stop watching ABC for kids if you despise it so much
    Put on some nice clothes and do your hair

    Dont blame your issues on being a SAHM mum because they would still exist regardless of whether you took part in paid employment.
    I don't think you can be so black and white or strident in your views on what would "fix" the problem.

    Working outside the home refreshes me - it's often easier to face difficulties with kids when you haven't been with them 12 hours every day. Not always - but often enough to make it worthwhile.

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  11. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by TeBe View Post
    My thoughts on the opening post are that most of the issues raised are not due to being a SAHM mum and would still be present if you undertook paid employment. For example, the issues with your unsupportive husband and the health/behavioural/language issues with your son. If you began to work outside of the home there would still be housework to do, your son would have the same issues, etc.

    You can still be a SAHM mum and wear nice clothes and spend time with friends who you enjoy being with.

    My advice:

    Sort out your issues with your husband
    Either hire a cleaner or sort out a cleaning roster so you only have to do an hour or so a day.
    Stop watching ABC for kids if you despise it so much
    Put on some nice clothes and do your hair

    Dont blame your issues on being a SAHM mum because they would still exist regardless of whether you took part in paid employment.
    Did we read the same post?? I totally didn't get that vibe.

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  13. #48
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    No advice just hugs and praise for a fantastic post. Captured my sentiments exactly and I was only a SAHM for 10 months. My brain basically melted out my ears. Sometimes, being a working mum is the best thing for a woman. I wish you the best for the future!!!

  14. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by TeBe View Post
    My thoughts on the opening post are that most of the issues raised are not due to being a SAHM mum and would still be present if you undertook paid employment. For example, the issues with your unsupportive husband and the health/behavioural/language issues with your son. If you began to work outside of the home there would still be housework to do, your son would have the same issues, etc.

    You can still be a SAHM mum and wear nice clothes and spend time with friends who you enjoy being with.

    My advice:

    Sort out your issues with your husband
    Either hire a cleaner or sort out a cleaning roster so you only have to do an hour or so a day.
    Stop watching ABC for kids if you despise it so much
    Put on some nice clothes and do your hair

    Dont blame your issues on being a SAHM mum because they would still exist regardless of whether you took part in paid employment.
    OMG to suggest that putting on a nice pair of clothes and doing your hair would make you enjoy being a SHAM is ludicrous.

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  16. #50
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    Mrs tickle from your post your kids are still very young and small age gaps. I can imagine how repetitive, draining and mundane it would be. I think being a sahm can be more enjoyable and mentally stimulating once they are a bit older and more independent. I only have 2 kids and work 3 days. When the kids were younger I dreaded my days at home as they were so needy and not really much I could do with them. As they are getting older being home is much more enjoyable. They play together more, I am learning so many new things eg healthy eating, cooking etc and even have time to do crochet. For me being at work is actually less mentally engaging and it's not a job I particularly enjoy. It is a break from the kids but I still prefer my home days.
    Anyway, hope things improve for you soon.


 

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