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  1. #1
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    Default Surname change?

    So my ex and I broke up just over 2 years ago.
    DD has his last name. I desperately want the same surname as my daughter. Especially now that I'm looking in to TTC on my own next yet, I don't want to have one child with my maiden name and DD with her dad's name.
    Do you think it would be going overboard to change my surname to my daughters surname? Do you think it's something I'd have to ask my ex about? Am I being silly? I would be happy to hyphenate my daughters surname but I know my ex would never ever agree to it.
    TIA :-)


    26yo single mummy of a beautiful 4yo daughter, Autumn Lucy 💕

  2. #2
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    You don't legally have to tell him that you are changing your name to his, but I'm sure he will find out somewhere along the line once you've changed it.

    It might be worth speaking to him about wether he would prefer your Dd to have a hyphenated last name or you to have his surname.

  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Curby For This Useful Post:

    Chillies  (24-08-2014),ourbradybunch  (24-08-2014)

  4. #3
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    Good idea Curby!


    26yo single mummy of a beautiful 4yo daughter, Autumn Lucy 💕

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    I don't think there's anything wrong with it, I know a lady who has done that

    But I would definitely talk to your ex about it and let him know your reasons why... Otherwise when he found out he might think it's a bit stalker-ish weird :/ You wouldn't him to get that impression!

    Sent from my GT-I9195T using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    lucymoo  (11-07-2014)

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    I wouldn't do it. It's one more hassle when filling in forms and having to show previous names and proof of change.

  8. #6
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    One of my mates ex's changed her surname to be the same as his, so that she could match their son.... They had been split up for about 6yrs. His entire family including his wife perceive it as very stalkerish, needy and weird, they became a lot more distant with her after that. Not saying that would happen in your circumstance but it happened with them. Not everyone is the same....Food for thought anyhow.

    What about something really different, as in a surname that you like? Would your ex be open to you adding another middle name to your daughter? He might be less likely to be territorial about a name you just picked and 'like' rather than another partners surname or you using his surname when you aren't a couple. Is your maiden name workable as a middle name for her? Would her middle name work as a surname for you?

    Lots of options out there! Good luck!

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    lucymoo  (11-07-2014)

  10. #7
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    You can push to have her surname hyphenated its something thats done quite often.

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    Ellewood  (24-08-2014)

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    Personally I wouldn't choose that option primarily because I can see it being perceived as 'kooky'. I get why you would want to do it but think that other people wouldn't take time to consider your reasons. I would chat with the ex if possible and ask what he thinks about the options that are available. (Not that his opinion will make your decision, more that you might get further if he thinks you have considered him).

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    I totally get it. Like totally. Seeing my Medicare card with my son and DH having the same last name and not me was a killer. I couldn't wait to get married and change my last name to match theirs. I'm not a fan of hyphen names but in this situation I think you your dd and new baby will all have the common link you are wanting to tie you all together. I think that is the ideal situation. Talk to you ex DH and let him know why and that its important for your dd to feel like she belongs to both families and hopefully he will be on board,

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    I find it very wrong if the law doesn't allow a mother to hyphenate her name onto her own child's surname! How is that fair? I'd double check with births deaths and marriages first to see what your options are legally without needing the fathers permission. You can use your name for both kids everywhere, but legally your options may be limited if the dad won't allow it.

    It does annoy me that most men insist on children having their surname, yet most women are more than happy to give up their own names and name their children after the father - it would be nice to see more men be as flexible as women are, but I don't see that happening. Anyway, this is exactly why I think women need to really think carefully about naming when they have children (not saying you didn't OP, just a general comment).

    I am so glad DS has my surname he has his dad's name as a middle name. But he lives with me so he should have my name.

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