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  1. #71
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    I don't want to de-rail this thread by disagreeing with other members but I disagree with what theoneandonlyem says when she says that suggesting formula "can sometimes be the least helpful suggestion as it can give the woman a sense of failure in not being able to BF her baby."

    The reality is Heartstringz is having trouble BFing and expressing, and her baby needs milk, so suggesting formula is a pretty obvious option. When I went through this struggle myself I found the lack of positive talk about formula made me feel like it was effectively "poison"...and that if I ventured into the world of formula feeding I'd be letting down all my friends, the nurses, the lactation consultants, my doctor. Nobody ever told me it can be a really good way of feeding my child. Because at the end of the day it's not about my friends, nurses, doctor etc. It's about my child. Once I shifted my thinking and stopped thinking about it being all about me (MY BF experience), and realised it's about feeding my baby (i.e. it's actually all about HER, not me or anyone else), I felt a lot better about just feeding my baby with whatever worked. Babies don't care where their milk comes from, they just need to be fed.

    So I respectfully disagree with what you had to say. I think Mums deserve to hear about the experiences of many women and they have the maturity and intelligence to decide how they'd like to feed.

  2. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to lemonpancakes For This Useful Post:

    babyla  (16-07-2014),Cue  (16-07-2014),Ngaiz  (16-07-2014),Purple Lily  (16-07-2014),Starfish30  (16-07-2014)

  3. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by lemonpancakes View Post
    I don't want to de-rail this thread by disagreeing with other members but I disagree with what theoneandonlyem says when she says that suggesting formula "can sometimes be the least helpful suggestion as it can give the woman a sense of failure in not being able to BF her baby."

    The reality is Heartstringz is having trouble BFing and expressing, and her baby needs milk, so suggesting formula is a pretty obvious option. When I went through this struggle myself I found the lack of positive talk about formula made me feel like it was effectively "poison"...and that if I ventured into the world of formula feeding I'd be letting down all my friends, the nurses, the lactation consultants, my doctor. Nobody ever told me it can be a really good way of feeding my child. Because at the end of the day it's not about my friends, nurses, doctor etc. It's about my child. Once I shifted my thinking and stopped thinking about it being all about me (MY BF experience), and realised it's about feeding my baby (i.e. it's actually all about HER, not me or anyone else), I felt a lot better about just feeding my baby with whatever worked. Babies don't care where their milk comes from, they just need to be fed.

    So I respectfully disagree with what you had to say. I think Mums deserve to hear about the experiences of many women and they have the maturity and intelligence to decide how they'd like to feed.
    I completely agree and also didn't want to derail but to suggest that women who have experienced with this exact problem are being unhelpful in sharing their experiences seems unfair. To be honest in my situation, all I wanted was for someone to suggest formula. It's important that women share from their own experiences so that someone can make a fully informed decision.

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    @lemonpancakes I totally get what you're saying and I certainly don't believe formula is evil or whatever. My point was only that when someone is asking for help and people are only suggesting formula as an option it can create a lot of feelings for women that make them think they are unable to feed their baby or that they have failed in some way. I have seen it happen both professionally and personally.

    If someone is wanting to BF their baby, being constantly told that their only option is formula is not helpful as it doesn't offer them solutions to try and overcome the problems they currently face. Sure, throw the suggestion into the mix but not as the be all and end all.

    Breastfeeding is hard for many women. There is no doubt about that. I see a lot of women who come in having their first babies in tears because it's not what they expected. Baby not latching, baby not feeding, cracked/damaged nipples, low supply, weight loss over the accepted limit (baby) making mums feel like they don't have enough milk etc. All I'm saying is support and education can make a huge difference.

    In heartstringz's case, it's sounds like she is going to switch to formula, and that's okay. It's okay because it's a decision she had made after deciding what is important to her and what will work for her and bub.

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    Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (16-07-2014)


 

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