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  1. #81
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    DS started sleeping through the night every night at 6.5yrs old. I still have broken sleep as i am so used to being woken up. He sleeps usually 7pm til 5/6am. Rare he sleeps later. I need at least 9hrs myself, sometimes more which happens on the weekends if i can get it as i dont get it during the week.

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    I hired a sleep consultant/baby whisperer when DD was 7 months. Best thing I have ever done for her. She has slept through since then and is now just over 2 yrs old.

  3. #83
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    What parents? Many parents I see through my work. Some of my friends from mothers group. Lots of parents.

    And yes, you are right, everybody needs different amounts of sleep. I've got 3 kids and my middle child can survive on less sleep. I don't know about you, but I am no fun when I am tired, I don't think it's fair to expect children to be tired because they've been out all night. My kids do cope ok when they go to bed later, but they are tired the next day. Who isn't when they go to bed late? We went to Ireland in April. My 3 kids were ok on the flight, but it wasn't fair on them that they were tired.
    These parents really don't care, or your perception is that they don't care? There's a big difference between the two.

    I am a mother who would wake my baby up if we needed to go somewhere and they were still asleep, or would put them in the pram to sleep, even though I knew they wouldn't nap for as long if they were home. I had a friend who would watch the clock and leave after 40 minutes or whatever because it was her baby's nap time and she needed to get her home before she fell asleep in the car to ensure she got adequate sleep. To her it might have looked like I was far too casual about my baby's sleep but I wasn't at all...I just took other methods to ensure my babies got the sleep they needed. I could not be a parent like my ex friend was. It was so difficult to deal with, and she was so strung out having such a rigid routine. I had a routine, it was flexible. It worked for me. My friend probably feels like her routine was working for her, but that's not my personality and I would have ended up down the PND path for sure if I was living my life by the clock so much.

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  5. #84
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    What parents? Many parents I see through my work. Some of my friends from mothers group. Lots of parents.

    And yes, you are right, everybody needs different amounts of sleep. I've got 3 kids and my middle child can survive on less sleep. I don't know about you, but I am no fun when I am tired, I don't think it's fair to expect children to be tired because they've been out all night. My kids do cope ok when they go to bed later, but they are tired the next day. Who isn't when they go to bed late? We went to Ireland in April. My 3 kids were ok on the flight, but it wasn't fair on them that they were tired.
    But even tho they were tired due to the flight they still enjoyed the rest of the holiday? After they caught up on some zzz? Or will you never travel again to avoid them being tired?

    I'm of the mind that sometimes or even more frequently it's ok to break out of pattern if it's to build an important memory or if it's an important occasion for others. How do 2nd, 3rd and subsequent children follow strict sleep patterns if there are school runs or older siblings events on? I know when I eventually have my third kiddo the only nap I will care about is the midday one as it hangs around the longest. I'm not going to miss out on Playgroup or library time for my older two because it's 'nap' time for baby. Baby can sleep in the pram or carrier as that will get their big sleep later at home.

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  7. #85
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post

    But I think too many parents underestimate the importance of sleep for babies and toddlers.
    Can I ask what you mean by this? I tend to find most parents I know are pretty obsessed with their young kids getting sleep. Or is it older kids?

    We did CIO with DD1 and it was fabulous for about a week or so then she got sick and it went out the window. After that DH and I couldn't do it again. We rock, cuddle, sing and pat our kids when they are babies until they sleep, and eventually we are able to get them to sleep without this intervention. I have spent more hours then I care to think about sitting in our rocking chair dozing in the middle of the night so DD3 could sleep. But like I said earlier because I have older kids now I know the sleep deprivation passes.

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  9. #86
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    Quote Originally Posted by Party of Three View Post
    These parents really don't care, or your perception is that they don't care? There's a big difference between the two.

    I am a mother who would wake my baby up if we needed to go somewhere and they were still asleep, or would put them in the pram to sleep, even though I knew they wouldn't nap for as long if they were home. I had a friend who would watch the clock and leave after 40 minutes or whatever because it was her baby's nap time and she needed to get her home before she fell asleep in the car to ensure she got adequate sleep. To her it might have looked like I was far too casual about my baby's sleep but I wasn't at all...I just took other methods to ensure my babies got the sleep they needed. I could not be a parent like my ex friend was. It was so difficult to deal with, and she was so strung out having such a rigid routine. I had a routine, it was flexible. It worked for me. My friend probably feels like her routine was working for her, but that's not my personality and I would have ended up down the PND path for sure if I was living my life by the clock so much.
    Well said. I had a friend like this too. Absolute nightmare. She never met when it didn't suit her baby. Irrespective if I had accommodated her multiple times previously. I too have/had a flexible routine with my kids. There were extra tired tonight after daycare so I put them to bed at 6.30pm.

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  11. #87
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia View Post
    I'm of the mind that sometimes or even more frequently it's ok to break out of pattern if it's to build an important memory or if it's an important occasion for others. How do 2nd, 3rd and subsequent children follow strict sleep patterns if there are school runs or older siblings events on? I know when I eventually have my third kiddo the only nap I will care about is the midday one as it hangs around the longest. I'm not going to miss out on Playgroup or library time for my older two because it's 'nap' time for baby. Baby can sleep in the pram or carrier as that will get their big sleep later at home.
    I know for us my 3rd and 4th slept anywhere during the day while we are out until they refuse to sleep and it impacts on their night sleep. It's easy at the start when they are tiny and sleep anywhere, then get tricky until they drop to one sleep. The period in between was hard for us as I'd be trying to make dinner/do homework with a very overtired grouchy baby.

    As for night events, my 3 year old is less likely to cope than my baby, so either DH or I stay home with my youngest 2 while the other takes the older 2 out.

  12. #88
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    My 4 yo will sttn if he goes to sleep in my bed if he is in his bed he will still wake through the night.
    Dd slept through the night every night from 4weeks until four months, since then she has only sttn a handful of times and she is 15 months. I night weaned her at 13months and it hasn't made a difference.

  13. #89
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia View Post
    But even tho they were tired due to the flight they still enjoyed the rest of the holiday? After they caught up on some zzz? Or will you never travel again to avoid them being tired?

    I'm of the mind that sometimes or even more frequently it's ok to break out of pattern if it's to build an important memory or if it's an important occasion for others. How do 2nd, 3rd and subsequent children follow strict sleep patterns if there are school runs or older siblings events on? I know when I eventually have my third kiddo the only nap I will care about is the midday one as it hangs around the longest. I'm not going to miss out on Playgroup or library time for my older two because it's 'nap' time for baby. Baby can sleep in the pram or carrier as that will get their big sleep later at home.
    My oldest is going to be visiting family in Europe soon and they have a completely different sleeping schedule to us + she'll have jet lag...but man, she's going to have amazing time and have memories for life! Being a bit tired is just going to part of the deal, but I wouldn't say she couldn't go because it will throw her normal sleep out of whack and she'll be tired. The only thing that's unfair about this trip is that I'm not going I've already told her she can have a couple of days off school when she gets back to get over the jet lag.
    I also kept her up until 10.30pm last week so we could watch a more grown up movie together once her siblings were asleep. Amazing memories, she felt so special. I just picked a night where we didn't have to be anywhere early the next day and got her to bed a bit earlier the following night.
    I'm pretty strict on school nights though. They need to be in bed by 8pm, the only exceptions are school disco's but we don't go out for dinner or anything like that during the school week.

  14. #90
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    Quote Originally Posted by Party of Three View Post
    These parents really don't care, or your perception is that they don't care? There's a big difference between the two.

    I am a mother who would wake my baby up if we needed to go somewhere and they were still asleep, or would put them in the pram to sleep, even though I knew they wouldn't nap for as long if they were home. I had a friend who would watch the clock and leave after 40 minutes or whatever because it was her baby's nap time and she needed to get her home before she fell asleep in the car to ensure she got adequate sleep. To her it might have looked like I was far too casual about my baby's sleep but I wasn't at all...I just took other methods to ensure my babies got the sleep they needed. I could not be a parent like my ex friend was. It was so difficult to deal with, and she was so strung out having such a rigid routine. I had a routine, it was flexible. It worked for me. My friend probably feels like her routine was working for her, but that's not my personality and I would have ended up down the PND path for sure if I was living my life by the clock so much.
    I was this friend with my DS2. It wasn't healthy for me or my DS1. I became a recluse because I NEEDED to be home for nap time.

    I changed my perspective greatly with DS3. I held him for basically 4 months straight, he only slept in my arms. I became more relaxed and had a very easygoing approach and just watchex for tired signs and put him to sleep. He sleeps in the car, occasionally the pram, In the ergo, my friends couch etc... He's now just shy of 13 months and some days he has 3 catnaps and some days 1 big nap, some days we're so busy he doesnt nap. He's healthy, thriving, absolutely the happiest baby/toddler I have ever met.

    Is this the same for everyone? Of course not, it would be stupid to assume that. Different babies and different parents need different things. CC and CIO do not fit in with my way of parenting and I refuse to try them. My DS2 is almost 4 and still doesnt sleep through. I dont think I have done him a disservice because I won't let him scream. I very rarely sleep through the night either and I cope better on 5 hours sleep than I do on 8...everyone is different

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