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  1. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia View Post
    For some parents the methods offered at sleep schools are against their parenting beliefs. They go, get shocked or upset, leave wither either both parents and or bub traumatized and then the guilt sets in.



    This. I know more parents IRL that sleep schools haven't worked for than ones that have.


    wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.
    I went to sleep school, supposed to stay for five nights, but came back on the second night. I was at my wits end with DS's constant waking up. But after staying there for one night and knowing about their method, I knew it was not for me. I am glad I didn't stay there longer.

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  2. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia View Post
    For some parents the methods offered at sleep schools are against their parenting beliefs. They go, get shocked or upset, leave wither either both parents and or bub traumatized and then the guilt sets in.



    This. I know more parents IRL that sleep schools haven't worked for than ones that have.


    wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.



    I think you've hit the nail on the head really and confirmed my thoughts, different babies need different settling techniques, but if the technique that will work for a bub goes against a parents philosophy, they're left with a baby who doesn't sleep as well as they could.

    Shows how hard this sleep business is, there can be a magic bullet but what that is, isn't always obvious or the parent cant use it.

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  4. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by Allie Pallie View Post
    I think you've hit the nail on the head really and confirmed my thoughts, different babies need different settling techniques, but if the technique that will work for a bub goes against a parents philosophy, they're left with a baby who doesn't sleep as well as they could.
    I somewhat disagree with the comment 'sleep as well as they could'. My babies have always slept well either attached to me or not. I may have had broken sleep but they've always slept well. Ie for me bedsharing with my 6-9mth old dd1 whilst she woke up every 40min was the best option for us as it was easy for me to flick a boob at her. She did grow out of it. But some parents would try to sleep train/sleep school or cc/CIO. But my fear then and even now is "what if this scars her?" This is not a dig at parents who choose to use alternative methods but rather the thought process in my head. I'm genuinely afraid that if I make my babies cry themselves to sleep they will feel I have left them. And I don't want them to ever feel that I'm not there for them day or night.

    On a following note. I now have two kids that can sleep anywhere, stay up late at night, wake early if needed, have phenomenal day sleeps (@4&2yo) and can both bed share as well as sleep independently in their beds. That for me is worth the gentle parenting in babyhood.

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  6. #74
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia View Post
    I somewhat disagree with the comment 'sleep as well as they could'. My babies have always slept well either attached to me or not. I may have had broken sleep but they've always slept well. Ie for me bedsharing with my 6-9mth old dd1 whilst she woke up every 40min was the best option for us as it was easy for me to flick a boob at her. She did grow out of it. But some parents would try to sleep train/sleep school or cc/CIO. But my fear then and even now is "what if this scars her?" This is not a dig at parents who choose to use alternative methods but rather the thought process in my head. I'm genuinely afraid that if I make my babies cry themselves to sleep they will feel I have left them. And I don't want them to ever feel that I'm not there for them day or night.

    On a following note. I now have two kids that can sleep anywhere, stay up late at night, wake early if needed, have phenomenal day sleeps (@4&2yo) and can both bed share as well as sleep independently in their beds. That for me is worth the gentle parenting in babyhood.
    I've never let my babies cry, and have had pretty good sleepers.

    But I think too many parents underestimate the importance of sleep for babies and toddlers.

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  8. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    I've never let my babies cry, and have had pretty good sleepers.

    But I think too many parents underestimate the importance of sleep for babies and toddlers.
    Absolutely agree.

    I've never let my babies cry, other than the quick step outside for fresh air and to compose myself. They've both been great sleepers after a gentle approach to teaching them that 'it's okay to go to sleep, I'll be there as soon as you need or want me'.

    Sleep is a fundamental part of growth and development for babies, I want to do everything (with the exception of CC/CIO) I can to help them get the sleep they need.

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  10. #76
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    @Rose&Aurelia may I ask why you consider it a good thing that your girls can stay up late?

    For us, I consider it good that, no matter where we are, my girls can happily drift off within a short time frame of their usual 7pm bedtime.

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  12. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by redlipsandpearls View Post
    @Rose&Aurelia may I ask why you consider it a good thing that your girls can stay up late?

    For us, I consider it good that, no matter where we are, my girls can happily drift off within a short time frame of their usual 7pm bedtime.
    We often go out past their 7pm bedtime to weddings, engagements, parties, church socials etc. both kids are happy to stay up and be part of our family festivities. I would be saddened if our kids slept thru such important events. At my SILs 30th recently both kids were up happily till 9 ish then my little one decided to climb into her pram and just went to sleep. My 4yo partied on till we left at 11pm.

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  14. #78
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    Quote Originally Posted by redlipsandpearls View Post

    Sleep is a fundamental part of growth and development for babies, I want to do everything (with the exception of CC/CIO) I can to help them get the sleep they need.
    I agree with this wholeheartedly.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post

    But I think too many parents underestimate the importance of sleep for babies and toddlers.
    What parents? All the parents I know are pretty obsessed with their babies/toddlers sleep. The fall out just isn't worth it.

    It's funny, I was talking to a friend today (not about this), but I said that 7 hours sleep each night was plenty for me to get through the day, and she told me how she needed at least 9 hours sleep to get through the day. I think it's fair to assume that babies need different amounts of sleep too.
    I don't think it's a bad thing for a baby/toddler to be up until 10pm at a social event, as long as they are having the opportunity to catch up on their missed sleep.

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  17. #80
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    Quote Originally Posted by Party of Three View Post
    What parents? All the parents I know are pretty obsessed with their babies/toddlers sleep. The fall out just isn't worth it.

    It's funny, I was talking to a friend today (not about this), but I said that 7 hours sleep each night was plenty for me to get through the day, and she told me how she needed at least 9 hours sleep to get through the day. I think it's fair to assume that babies need different amounts of sleep too.
    I don't think it's a bad thing for a baby/toddler to be up until 10pm at a social event, as long as they are having the opportunity to catch up on their missed sleep.
    What parents? Many parents I see through my work. Some of my friends from mothers group. Lots of parents.

    And yes, you are right, everybody needs different amounts of sleep. I've got 3 kids and my middle child can survive on less sleep. I don't know about you, but I am no fun when I am tired, I don't think it's fair to expect children to be tired because they've been out all night. My kids do cope ok when they go to bed later, but they are tired the next day. Who isn't when they go to bed late? We went to Ireland in April. My 3 kids were ok on the flight, but it wasn't fair on them that they were tired.


 

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