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  1. #121
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    @HollyGolightly81 there's nothing wrong with anything you've said. I'm actually not sure anyone is wildly disagreeing with anyone else - they are simply explaining what does (and doesn't) work for them. My world revolved around DD1's sleep patterns as well when she was little, and even around DD2, but with DS1 and DD3 they have to (largely) fit in around what's happening in our family. Eg this morning we all went out and DD3 was incredibly tired but the others were having a great time with their cousins who they never see so I stretched her out for another hour. She wanted to be held but was otherwise fine.

    I very much go along with what Anewme does. There's a basic frame around our day and nights but it has to be flexible. Maybe my kids would be better sleepers if they were singletons but they're not so I guess I'll never know.
    I agree, but some comments have sounded a bit critical to the other side.

    I do know that when another baby comes along I probably won't have the luxury of being so accommodating (like you've described) but right now I do so I just accept how restricting it can all be.

    Although I do follow our routine, the times itself are what he naturally fell into by me observing how long he could stay awake and I just go with it, he called the shots.
    Last edited by HollyGolightly81; 09-07-2014 at 16:55.

  2. #122
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    Quote Originally Posted by HollyGolightly81 View Post
    I agree, but some comments have sounded a bit critical to the other side.

    I do know that when another baby comes along I probably won't have the luxury of being so accommodating (like you've described) but right now I do so I just accept how restricting it can all be.

    Although I do follow our routine, the times itself are what he naturally fell into and just go with it, he called the shots.
    I know I myself am not being critical of routine itself, you do what you've gotta do, I get that. But its when my friends have expected me to work around their routines at all times without compromise - I have just been expected to make my son miss his naps despite him being the small baby, and if not, our friendship wasnt worth it to her because she wasnt willing to show me the same courtesy sometimes. That to me is selfish and not something I am willing to put up with from my friends anymore.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    Full House  (09-07-2014),Gentoo  (09-07-2014),Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (09-07-2014)

  4. #123
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    Quote Originally Posted by Allie Pallie View Post
    haha. I'm lucky if mine actually sleeps! At least 1 hour to myself whether she sleeps or not gets us both through the afternoons.

    Is yours close to dropping his too?
    Not quite ready to drop it ... If he doesn't nap he is pretty naughty..

  5. #124
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    Quote Originally Posted by peanutmonkey View Post
    I dont think thete is anything wrong with it if it works for all parties involved but my friend who does it literally wont budge. Not even for birthday parties, special events etc. She is home every single day at 11am so she can put her 3.5yr old to bed. And she has done almost every single day since her daughter was born. So if I try to make plans, even though I have 3 children and she has 1, and my youngest is still a baby, it has to work around her daughters sleep or it doesnt happen. As a result it has negatively effected her friendship with me as I am not willing to always put myself and DS3 out when she isnt willing to do the same for me. She's basically lost the majority of her friends because she is so rigid. To me, thats just not a healthy way to live but its her choice I guess.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    Yes! My ex friend was like this. It was a nightmare. She even went as far as doing a big group invite to a place an hour away from all of us, with a 2 1/2 hr drive for one of her friends. She was happy because her baby could have an hour nap in the car so we times it so that her baby would go to sleep as soon as they were driving....her friends from far away were late (long drive with a baby, you know how it is), so they literally got to where we were for 30 minutes before my ex friend declared they had to go so they could be back home for the baby's next sleep. I stayed put...no way was I going to the effort I did for an hour and a half, plus my kids would have protested big time, but her friend form 2 1/2hrs away really only knew her so they packed up and left. It was just so unbelievable rude. She had one baby, i had two small children and a toddler, and the other friend had a baby...but nothing was taken in to consideration except for her baby's schedule. It's very hard to be understanding when you have 'friends' pulling that kind of crap on you because they're babies sleep is so important.

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  7. #125
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    Quote Originally Posted by Party of Three View Post
    It's very hard to be understanding when you have 'friends' pulling that kind of crap on you because they're babies sleep is so important.
    I agree. Somehow their baby and life is always more important than anyone else's.

    wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.

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  9. #126
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    Quote Originally Posted by HollyGolightly81 View Post
    I'm the highly strung mum who has to be home for naps. Around 7 weeks DS stopped sleeping in his pram and will only sleep in his dark, quiet room. I didn't make him that way, he chose it. I continued to try to be out for coffee dates, catchups, errands, etc and make him sleep in the pram because people made comments that he'll get used to it, I'm creating a rod for my back, or because I just wanted to stay out and be social and EVERY time I regretted it as I tried to rush home with an over-tired, screaming baby in my arms while I pushed the pram. So yeah, now, as often as possible, I make sure I'm home and if people want to catch up I let them know the times I can and if it works out that's great, if not then oh well. I'm not going to make my baby unhappy, and like Stretched said, make my night harder than it already is, for everyone else.

    I know that both baby and I are happier if a routine is followed and my attitude is that our life won't be this restricted forever, he's only little for a short time.

    Why can't it be that we're all doing what's best for ourselves and our particular babies rather than critical sounding comments regarding keeping your baby up or needing to follow a routine?
    That's fair enough I think. The difference with the mum from my mothers group is she is a bit bold... says the times she can't make it and every time expects the times to change for her, regardless of the availability of the other mums and bubs "eg I can't do XYZ, let's meet at abc instead, see you then."

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