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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by moosey View Post
    Nup, what's the point? What are the chances of the person you are seeing having a a criminal history? There are plenty of dodgy people who haven't got a record. If you didn't come up with a bad past would you then just trust them completely? I think instincts are more important.
    Agree. Background checks aren't foolproof. It may even lull someone into a false sense of security.

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  3. #32
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    See I think this case from NSW is interesting- http://www.illawarramercury.com.au/s...fooled-family/

    It sounds like the woman had absolutely no suspicions about her partner, but her Mum and sister did, so they searched his background, found out he was a convicted murderer and wasn't allowed to have any contact with children, and then presented her with the evidence, which may have saved her and her children's lives.

    I think it's probably good that the Mum and sister interfered in this case (I'm not sure if they'd raised their concerns with her first and she'd dismissed them?)

    (for the non-clickers... )

    The Kempsey family who unknowingly accepted convicted child killer Austin Allan Hughes into their lives feel ‘‘betrayed and horrified’’ that the murderer was able to blend into their community using a new identity.

    Hughes, who now goes by Blain Lopez Smith, was arrested and charged with breaching the Child Protection Act on Friday after it was alleged he was living with a woman and her two children at Kempsey.

    The revelation comes after he was released from prison in December 2009, having served 16 years for the brutal murder of six-year-old Nowra boy John Ashfield in tandem with the boy’s mother, Gunn-Britt Ashfield, in 1993.

    Yesterday, the Kempsey woman’s mother spoke out about her daughter’s relationship with Hughes, and the family’s horror when they discovered that the sometimes-controlling boyfriend was in fact a violent killer.

    Speaking through family lawyer Roger Firth, the mother said she was extremely distressed to learn that her young granddaughter and grandson had been exposed to Hughes unwittingly.‘‘She felt betrayed and she was horrified that he could be in the community and that the children could be exposed to him,’’ Mr Firth, director of Firth, McAlpine and Scott Lawyers, said.‘‘The thought that they’ve had the grandchildren in that environment [and that] on a number of occasions he has been with the children ... she’s certainly distressed by it. ‘‘She’s amazed that someone could change their name and just blend back into the community like he has.’’

    The woman’s mother, who has lived in Kempsey for 20 years and runs her own business, thought Hughes was a very likeable, genuine man when she hired him for a job and eventually introduced him to her daughter.‘‘He’s quite a personable person, quite a likeable guy,’’ Mr Firth explained.‘‘She said she considered him a friend and that he ingratiated himself in the family then met her daughter and started going out with her.’’

    However, the mother’s suspicions were raised when he avoided giving her information for a criminal background check. Her concerns grew when the family noticed Hughes was always wearing a hat and sunglasses.Conversations between Hughes and other family members also raised alarm bells, particularly after he told them on a number of occasions the woman’s young boy was ‘‘too spoilt and needed disciplining’’.

    It came to a head when they did an internet search of the terms ‘‘Kempsey’’ and ‘‘killer’’ and came up with a photograph of Hughes and information about his murder conviction. At the time Hughes was holidaying with the woman. It was only when they returned that her family dared show her their findings.

    Yesterday, the mother warned that it could happen to anyone, and that people should be alert.

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  5. #33
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    Oh wow! So interesting, never would have even thought of it! But I would in future!!

    What exactly do you mean OP? Like criminal check? Or everything check, like finances, habits hobbies etc??

    Fascinating! Haha

    PS who would do the check??
    Last edited by Ellewood; 06-07-2014 at 20:02.

  6. #34
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    Nope. Never felt the need.

  7. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ellewood View Post
    Oh wow! So interesting, never would have even thought of it! But I would in future!!

    What exactly do you mean OP? Like criminal check? Or everything check, like finances, habits hobbies etc??
    NO IDEA @Ellewood. Never done one! Was just a (kinda warped) idea I had lol.

    GREAT article @Stretched Just so interesting, definitely the kind of thing I agree with.
    Last edited by MilkingMaid; 06-07-2014 at 20:33.

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  9. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by MilkingMaid View Post
    NO IDEA @Ellewood. Never done one! Was just a (kinda warped) idea I had lol.
    i think I'm just paranoid by nature anyway... I tried internet dating once and went on one 'date', but I didn't like that we had no friends in common,you kinda feel safer around people who at least know someone you know I guess. Then you can use your acquaintances to suss them out for you I don't trust anyone!

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  11. #37
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    I honestly don't know . I am in the final stages of ending a 7 year relationship and I do think of whats going to happen in the future and I'm terrified. How the hell do you trust someone. You hear all sorts if horror stories . Think I'll stay alone

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    I would consider it. I'm a solo mum to two little girls. It's not about protecting me, it's about protecting them. My friend dated a guy who admitted he had been convicted of child pornography after they had been dating a while. She was a teachers assistant at a special school.

    Yes there are dodgy people who haven't been convicted, and I would always take things slow for that reason. As it is I'm probably not going to date till my girls are considerably older.

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  14. #39
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    If I had of read this last week the answer would have been no!


    But after the love triangle I've been involved in for the past year, and the new one I was just involved in even though I wasn't seeing this guy!!

    And all the **** I know now about my sons dad, a guy I've known 8 years and lived with for 4.

    Yes, yes I would, you NEVER know what someone can be hiding from you!!

    If you can find out before getting involved, before getting your kids attached.. Then why not?

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    KaraB  (06-07-2014)

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    Quote Originally Posted by crankyoldcow View Post
    Hearing stories like this turns me off dating again full stop.
    Me too!

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    HappyBovinexx  (06-07-2014)


 
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