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  1. #1
    MilkingMaid's Avatar
    MilkingMaid is offline Winner 2009 - Mod Award - most supportive member
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    Question Background check on prospective date/partner

    Have you ever had a full on background check done on someone you were thinking of getting into a relationship with?

    Would you ever consider doing it?

    I mean hiring someone to check into their past to make sure there were no nasty surprises.

    Why did you?

    Or

    Why would you not do it?

    Would you ever consider getting a boyfriend/girlfriend of one of your children checked out?
    Last edited by MilkingMaid; 06-07-2014 at 17:59.

  2. #2
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    I haven't done it, but now I am older and wiser, once bitten twice shy, I think I actually might consider it.

    It can be amazing the things that come to light 1/2 way through a relationship, or after it has ended...

    If one of my boys had a dodgy seeming girlfriend, I might consider it... Not sure what I'd do with the info once I got it though, if it was not good news.... lol
    Last edited by MilkingMaid; 06-07-2014 at 18:00.

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    Hmm no, I don't think I would.

    If your gut is saying something is dodgy to the point of getting a background check done, that is probably the point you should walk away.

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  5. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Curby View Post
    Hmm no, I don't think I would.

    If your gut is saying something is dodgy to the point of getting a background check done, that is probably the point you should walk away.
    What if you think someone is totally wonderful, and you just want to make sure?

    Prospective employers do it all the time, it's not because they get a bad feeling about someone, but because they want to be SURE someone really is OK.

    Sharing your life with someone is HUGE, I no longer think it is something to be taken lightly, I think the more information you have about someone, the better. I don't want to go there on blind faith again.

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  7. #5
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    I didn't consider it when I met DH (and we met via internet dating) but that's because I had my BS/weirdo radar turned right up. I guess I didn't consider it because he divulged more information about his life before I did about mine and all the pieces 'fit' together. There was never any hint of weirdo-ness or dodgyness - I even got in his car on the 2nd date, let him drive me home and walk me to my door.

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    Not a background check by a PI, but a friend of mine in WA has accessed the community protection disclosure scheme to check on someone she was dating.

    (The scheme is designed to advise parents if another adult who is having unsupervised contact with their children is a reportable offender).
    Last edited by sky1; 06-07-2014 at 19:52.

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    Hi I havn't read replies.

    Personally, if I had suspicions, I would ask a PI to investigate.

    HOWEVER.. I would specifically ask for information regarding A,B,C (whatever I was suspicious about) and I would make it clear I didn't want to know anything else.

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    If you get a check in your partner/potential partner before they have given you any indication that anything is dodge... I think that says a lot about your own issues... And spells the end of the relationship before it begins. If you think your partner is dodge just walk away.

    If you get a check on your kids boyfriends/girlfriends then that's just meddling. You want to hope your kids don't find out and write you off.

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    I wouldn't do it.

    There may be plausible explanations for their criminal record and you wouldn't know that unless you ask them, which would more than likely end your chances of a relationship anyway.

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    Oh and as for checking your children's potential partners... that's an absolute NO!


 

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