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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2014

    Default Newly single, new baby

    I've just walked out on my husband for cheating on me. We have three month old baby. Cheating is a deal breaker for me, so there will be no chance of reconciliation.

    Does anyone have any experience or advice on how I can expect things to pan out. He will want to be involved in our sons life. How will sharing the baby work when I am planning to demand breastfeed until he is 12 months old? Am I going to be forced to express or put him on formula?

    I'm really annoyed that I have to now do this alone now, and that his stupidity means I will have to share my son and there will be periods of time I won't have him. I'm happy for him to come and see him as much as he likes, but I really don't want split his living arrangements this early on.

    Any advice or experiences from others would be greatly appreciated!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Lots of ladies here know far more than I do as I'm not a single parent, but I do know that you cannot be forced to bottle feed your bub (EBM or formula).

    Not sure if of the exact ages, but I have heard the courts won't stipulate overnight stays with the other parent until bub is much older than he is now.

    Good luck.

    Sent from my HTC One X using The Bub Hub mobile app

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Arlais For This Useful Post:

    Laufey  (05-07-2014)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    @Laufey, I missed this post and am sorry to hear about what has happened.

    As said, you will not be expected to forfeit breast feeding you baby.

    My exH walked out on myself and DD when she was 13 weeks old. The road ahead is going to me a tough one but you can't absolutely do this!!

    DD is 12.5 months old now and she still does not have overnight visits with her Dad. He has day visits with her once a fortnight (alternating between where he lives and where we now live).

    Please PM me if you need to chat. The LegalAid NSW website is very helpful (not too sure where you are located). Big hugs to you! X


  5. #4
    harvs's Avatar
    harvs is offline Winner 2014 - Spirit of BubHub Award
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    Hi @Laufey, so sorry to read of this. Well done for being so strong. Can I suggest contacting centrelink ASAP to find out what support you will be entitled to? Yes. It will be a challenging road ahead. It's good to see that you are open to helping your son maintain a positive relationship with his father. You will probably be best advised to undergo some mediation with your ex husband, and during that time a visitation agreement will likely be drawn up. No court will force you to discontinue breastfeeding, and, as PPs said, it is highly unlikely that any court would recommend that an infant spend nights away from his primary caregiver. I would suggest keeping any correspondence regarding your son from now on as written only, and document dates and times of any significant events or conversations. This can be very helpful if things turn pear shaped in the future.

    I can understand totally the anger you are feeling, both for yourself and on behalf of your son. Perhaps some counselling would be a positive step in order to help you move on from this heartbreaking event and to air your feelings.

    Good luck, and the single parent section of the hub is full of very supportive and knowledgeable single mummas if you have any questions.

  6. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    So sorry op. You are so brave, good on you for standing your ground. My eldest was breastfed until 2 and did not commence overnights until then, and only once a fortnight. It progressed as she got older. I never expressed or ff.

    For a baby your sons age the recommendations are frequent visits in shorter duration. No need for you to express or ff.

    Good luck .

  7. #6
    BH-KatiesMum's Avatar
    BH-KatiesMum is online now Community Manager
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    it is hard - such a shock when you werent expecting that.

    We have quite a lot of single mums here, who can help you and support you with lots of great advice and support.


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