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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    Sorry OT but had to respond. So sorry to read that @peanutmonkey. That must be so stressful. What next for you and your DS1?
    Thanks, it is a bit but he is very different to DS2 and doesnt have the extreme anxiety so I'm not too worried it just means working with him to try and help his focus and attention at school. He's very smart but struggling to stay focused for long enough to listen to the whole task so he can complete it correctly etc.

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  2. #32
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    I think whatever is 'fair' is what you have negotiated with your other half and that makes you happy. Both of you. .. most of the time.
    I currently am home with DD. not at all planned that way as I intended to return to work but her high needs have left me unable to do that. I'm often up all night with her... taking her to therapy and early intervention. She hasn't been away from my side pretty much since she was born. I do all the housework. DH works really hard. Quite often 7 days a week. If he's in the office he's gone by 630 and not home til 7 or later. I can understand he is tired. He does clean up the kitchen after meals etc.
    I'm about to start part time work. He will help out on those days if he can. Like putting on the slow cooker or doing laundry if he's working from home.
    Our situation is not what I dreamed (me at home with housework. ...) but then our daughter has needed a high level care and still does. It won't be forever. When he has been redundant looking for work and I was working full time he did all the housework. I'm sure he didn't dream of that.
    It's whatever is the necessity at the time. Things change.

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    A-Squared  (30-06-2014),peanutmonkey  (29-06-2014)

  4. #33
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    i am a single mum in my own house but i do all the cooking and all the cleaning and all the child minding. I then go to his house and clean his house from top to bottom and make sure he has healthy food for during the week when i am not around.

    My partner is a hoarder and a total kid still but these are things that make him part of the person who i love. I am a total clean freak and so particular about my own kitchen, he knows i would murder him if he tried to use my kitchen.

    We will most likely be moving in together in the next year and i will still do 98% of the cleaning, 100% of the cooking and maybe 85% of the children stuff. I also work full time and study at uni.

    I think this works well as i am so totally ocd and hyperactive that i feel almost depressed if i am not constantly on the move every day with a solid plan of what i need to do every day.

    My partner is really good for making me slow down and not be so high strung and go go go all the time. He is also great at offering just the right amount of support like bum squeezes while i am baking.

  5. #34
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    Our division our housework AND childcare is pretty much 50/50.

    I'm a SAHM and full-time student (by distance), DH works 12 hour days (and nights) full-time. But even when I wasn't studying and DH was doing 8 hour days, it was the same.

    It is very important in our household that we chip in *equally* for being good role models for our children. That men do equal childcare AND housework and that it is NOT "women's work" nor the sole responsibility of the SAHP.
    Last edited by Lillynix; 29-06-2014 at 22:08.

  6. #35
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    While dh and I are both working we both do everything 50/50.
    When I stop work to be a SAHM for 12months soon, I will naturally do more around the house. It's only fair since I will be home and dh will be at work.

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  8. #36
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    As long as both people in the relationship are happy, then I think that's the main thing.

    When I had one child, I did a lot more than my husband. I could cook and clean and relax during nap time. My husband used to work Saturdays then so that's when I would do the big house clean. Now with 3 kids, I have a cleaner once a fortnight and my house is nowhere near as clean and tidy as it used to be.

    I work 3 days with pretty short hours. My husband works 7am - 5pm and sometimes later in a very physically demanding job on the other side of Sydney.

    I still do most housework, but my husband will put washing on, do dishes, cook dinner on weekends occasionally. He also does a lot with the kids on the weekends as with his work hours, he doesn't see them at all in the mornings, and is home just before bed during the week. In the evenings if he's home, he will bath kids, read them stores, get them ready for bed.

    Our housework is not 50/50 but I'm happy with that. After the kids are in bed at night, our rule is we do minimal housework (like make sure kitchen is clean, dishes done, lunches packed etc.) so we can sit and relax, chat, watch tv and just have our downtime. I am happy with our current arrangement and tell my husband if he slackens off. Like last night I went out and he didn't wash the dishes, so I told him he could do them this morning.
    Last edited by BigRedV; 29-06-2014 at 23:42.

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  10. #37
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    I work 2 days a week and DH works full time and gets home at a reasonable time. I do most of the housework (bit slack though hehe!) but he pitches in with dinners, laundry, bathing and putting the kids to bed and generally just taking care of their needs. We are pretty easy going and flexible. There are no standing rules really. If I want to catch up with my friends for a dinner and movie night then I can and if he has the opportunity to do something child and wife free then he goes. But our kids are nearly 4 and 8 so they are relatively easy to care for.

  11. #38
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    When DH worked from 8-6 pm he did a lot around the house and basically took over the child minding once he's at home. But now he works 8 to 8pm sometimes 9 pm, he does a lot less. but weekend he spends lot more time with the kids and not much house work which I don't mind. He's better with kids than me. He's more fun, more patient.

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  13. #39
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    When I was home on mat leave I did almost everything indoor related. Even when dh is home I do most of it. He does tho take over the child watching/minding so I can do housework in peace. But now that he is away so much I've gotten used to doing everything all the time.


 

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