+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 4 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 39
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    7,686
    Thanks
    387
    Thanked
    663
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts

    Default What is a fair division of chores between a SAHP and a WOHP?

    Age old question, I know :P and I know there's a heap of super SAHPs who manage it all, but I'm more interested in hearing from those who feel its in everyone's best interests that both partners pitch in around the house.
    TIA

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Posts
    3,196
    Thanks
    312
    Thanked
    960
    Reviews
    13
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Slightly OT- My husband and I discussed this the other day.
    I'm currently on maternity leave ( well working pt) and felt like I was on 24/7. DH works ft and looks after dd on a day off.
    He was complaining to me that he needed a break and I was arguing that I'm 24/7 he shouldn't complain.
    He reminded me that whilst I have DD with me, and need to be switched on, I still get to go out and do things I want to do, where he doesn't.
    When he's at work obviously he's attention is focused on work and can't do his own thing. Likewise at home I was expecting 100% attention.
    It wasn't until he said that that it clicked for me

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to maternidade For This Useful Post:

    MsViking  (29-06-2014)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    632
    Thanks
    771
    Thanked
    216
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    There is no way I would consider "doing your own thing" with kids is even close to doing it without kids.

  5. The Following 13 Users Say Thank You to AngelicHobgoblin For This Useful Post:

    AdornedWithCats  (29-06-2014),btmacxxx  (29-06-2014),callmedragon22  (29-06-2014),delirium  (29-06-2014),haveheart  (29-06-2014),KitiK  (29-06-2014),Lillynix  (29-06-2014),Mod-Uniquey  (30-06-2014),NoteToSelf  (29-06-2014),peanutmonkey  (29-06-2014),Purple Lily  (29-06-2014),Sethysmum  (29-06-2014),VicPark  (29-06-2014)

  6. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Posts
    3,196
    Thanks
    312
    Thanked
    960
    Reviews
    13
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by AngelicHobgoblin View Post
    There is no way I would consider "doing your own thing" with kids is even close to doing it without kids.
    No but if I want to go shopping I still can, it takes twice as long but I'm still free to do this and that. A working parent cannot just up and leave whilst undertaking paid employment, they have an obligation to their employer to do what they are being paid to do.
    For the record DH is very good around the house and is amazing with dd

  7. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    261
    Thanks
    103
    Thanked
    55
    Reviews
    0
    Our division has stayed the same. I look after inside, DP looks after outside and the big jobs inside. He doesn't want to do washing up or laundry and I don't want to mow or fix my car so it works. He takes the bins out and cooks sometimes as well but that's only on our 'easy dinner' nights lol.
    He will also look after DS one day of every weekend for as long as it takes so I can clean properly(vacuum and mop etc) as DS has a loose routine where he doesn't really sleep during the day so I can't get much done and don't feel like vacuuming and mopping after he goes to bed.

  8. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    7,053
    Thanks
    6,263
    Thanked
    5,481
    Reviews
    4
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a weekBusiest Member of the Week - Most posts for the week ending 5/6/2014
    We both just get in and do what needs to be done. We both believe that my main job is taking care of the kids. If I get some cleaning done thats great if I dont, no issue.

    He recognises that whilst he deserves a break from working, that so do I because looking after 3 small children isnt exactly relaxing. My days are filled with therapy type activities with DS2, making food, changing nappies etc etc. I don't have the option to sit and eat lunch without screaming whinging, a baby stealing food etc. I dont get to go to the toilet on my own. I cant even have a conversation with someone without bekng interrupted to stop the kids from doing something they shouldnt or to answer a question etc.

    We both work well together. Im lucky that my DH doesnt think that my job is the housework. He doesnt get home and expect to kick back and relax. He gets in, helps with the kids and we both relax at 7pm.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  9. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to peanutmonkey For This Useful Post:

    CakeyMumma  (29-06-2014),Mod-Uniquey  (30-06-2014),RipperRita  (29-06-2014)

  10. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    12,708
    Thanks
    9,557
    Thanked
    12,689
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week
    In my house we both work hard during the day (I am busy looking after bub, housework). We both are lucky to get a 30 minute lunch break. All house/kid stuff is 50-50 from the moment hubby gets home from work.

    I get what pp is saying about a mum with kids can still do her own thing like shopping. Partly true but it's not quality time or time efficient... I feel it is balanced out somewhat by hubby being able to have a coffee in peace, talk to grown adults etc

  11. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to VicPark For This Useful Post:

    btmacxxx  (29-06-2014),CakeyMumma  (29-06-2014)

  12. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    1,925
    Thanks
    521
    Thanked
    376
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by maternidade View Post
    No but if I want to go shopping I still can, it takes twice as long but I'm still free to do this and that. A working parent cannot just up and leave whilst undertaking paid employment, they have an obligation to their employer to do what they are being paid to do.
    For the record DH is very good around the house and is amazing with dd
    I get where you are coming from.

    I work full time and without the support of DP I would have to do the things I would normally do around the household but with 9-10 hours (including commute) less to work with during the day.

    I will be on maternity leave in November and even though I will be looking after two children, I will still have a few more hours during the day to get household stuff done as opposed to the alternative where I'm not present to get anything done at all.

  13. #9
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    2,669
    Thanks
    1,004
    Thanked
    2,412
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I think it depends on how much your OH works as well. When I was a SAHM DH would leave for work at 8am, and then not get home until 9pm or later. If I was working hours like that I would not want to come home to housework when there had been an adult home all day. He would come home and do the dishes for me or help out if I hadn't got it all done yet, because when our third was still a baby it wasn't that easy to tuck him in to bed at 7pm and say goodnight. He needed a bf, he might not settle straight away etc. so sometimes I'd only just get him in to bed at 8.30pm and then have the kitchen and floors to do.
    DH always does the bins too, because I hate them. So he would do bins, and help out with day to day stuff on weekends, or when my day with the kids meant I wasn't on top of things when he got home. I did all the big house stuff and cleaned the car, but he mowed lawns.
    Had his job meant that he walked through the door at 5pm every night and had every weekend off the division of housework might have been different, but as he works 80 hours a week, I felt that quality time as a family was more important, even though it did make me less of a fun mum as I always had lots of house jobs to do. It's easy to get in a day now, but it wasn't easy to get it done in a day whilst dealing with the demands of a baby, toddler and pre-schooler.

  14. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    784
    Thanks
    142
    Thanked
    281
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Disagree with the stay at home parent being able to do whatever they want!! If my husband said something like that to me, it would be the start of massive argument in our house!!! There's no way I can go shopping or do anything "for me" with a spirited toddler &a clingy newborn....

    While he's the working parent, he gets to eat lunch, have coffee (still hot!) & go to the toilet whenever he wants - I don't have that luxury! Let alone do things for me.

    As for fair division of chores -- in our house it's completely 50/50 -- his "job" is working outside the home Monday-Friday. My "job" is caring for our children Monday-Friday. And we 50/50 share all the household chores, & parenting over night & on weekends.

  15. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Monkey'sMummy For This Useful Post:

    RuffledPansy  (29-06-2014),Sethysmum  (29-06-2014)


 

Similar Threads

  1. Do you need every day 'help' with kids, chores etc?
    By Cicho in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 134
    Last Post: 11-11-2013, 16:23
  2. *spinoff* How old are your children and what chores do they do?
    By My Beloved Ones in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 28
    Last Post: 07-11-2013, 16:50
  3. What, if any, household chores do you now pay someone else to do?
    By jfblady72 in forum Working Hubbers - Employed
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 06-11-2013, 10:43

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Bamboo Lulu
Super soft, fun prints & basics for baby, made from bamboo & organic cotton plus non-toxic wooden toys. • Hypoallergenic - perfect for eczema relief • Everything needed to shop for a baby shower • 10% off + FREE gift with purchase. Use code BUBHUB
sales & new stuffsee all
Wendys Music School Melbourne
Wondering about Music Lessons? FREE 30 minute ASSESSMENT. Find out if your child is ready! Piano from age 3 years & Guitar, Singing, Drums, Violin from age 5. Lessons available for all ages. 35+ years experience. Structured program.
Use referral 'bubhub' when booking
featured supporter
henry and grace
Summer Cool. We are the only brand in the world to use ultrafine Merino wool to produce the finest, softest & most luxurious garments whilst keeping mum and bub cool and dry. Wear them multiple times before machine washing-hard to believe, but true.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!