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  1. #281
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    Quote Originally Posted by rainbow road View Post
    @Boxergirl - we aren't very secretive we figure that meeting her will be exciting for everyone even if they already know her sex and name. Also, we are getting a friend to water colour some personalised artwork for her bedroom and my mum will make her a personalised blanket so now she's got a head start Attachment 82627

    I can't wait to find out what you're having! Do you have a vibe?

    A and S is totally right. My advice is trust your gut! Mummy instinct is usually right. I've always been probably over confident in my ability to parent because I had been on bubhub so long before even TTC, so I kind of already had done all the research for all the big issues and was also on the same page as DP which is a huge help.

    Another friend of mine struggled for so long before she just threw away the books at 6 months and followed her gut and was so much happier after!
    Gorgeous little name. Big congratulations ❤️

    I have a vibe of a little girl. DP thinks boy. One or the other lol

  2. #282
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    Quote Originally Posted by almai View Post
    I think the lack of sleep really gets to you the most. You don't act rationally when you are tired and are more likely to snap at everything (well dp and I do) so taking turns doing night feeds (if you bottle feed) or one bf over night and the other take baby in morning so Bf mumma can have a few hours solid sleep.
    Also talk.... Dp and I have had very different views on feeding schedule, settling techniques etc and so each got annoyed at each other but we talk more now and have got a good routine that works (at least for now).
    Plus things change daily so you need to be flexible... And patient.
    It's hard being a mum but it's all so very worth it when the little angels are asleep

    I'm so thankful the ds2 is a much easier baby than ds1 was. He has his moments but overall he's great.
    He sounds like a little dream baby ❤️

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  4. #283
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    Names... Hmm... Far out lol. It's such a big task to chose someone else's name! @Boxergirl are you keeping your top names under wraps? We have had a few names from on the list from a while back but I want more options.. So the search is on. We won't choose bubs name til they are born and we get to know them a little. We also said we wouldn't introduce the baby with a name to everyone else for at least 24 hours just to be sure that we have given ourselves time to pick a name that suits. I guess that might change if we are suddenly 100% after meeting bub.[/QUOTE]



    Tell you ours if you tell us yours lol

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    Lol we'll tell you ours when we have some! Right now our list is almost non-existent!

    What have you got so far? We won't steal them 😉

    It would be hilarious if some were the same though... You would never believe me anyway Hahahaha

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    Quote Originally Posted by A&S View Post
    My biggest struggle was having a baby who was a shocking sleeper. DP and I pushed through months of sleeplessness, I'm talking up to 15 wake ups a night and not sleeping more than 20 minutes at a time during the day. We were so burnt out. I cried all the time and felt like I had completely failed. I lost all my confidence and developed PND.

    We got a sleep consultant in 2 weeks ago and I'm happy to report DD now only wakes twice a night for her bottles and she can sleep for at least an hour during the day.

    My biggest advice for first time mums would be to seek help early if you don't feel right. As soon as I started on meds and my GP validated that we were doing it really rough I felt a million times better. My biggest regret is allowing google searches to make me feel like a failure and not getting help with the sleeping earlier.

    Oh and join a mothers group. It is invaluable talking to other mums who are going through the exact same thing. I only discovered mine in the last month, I wish I had joined earlier.
    Glad to hear you are all getting more sleep. Well done, Mumma's.

  7. #286
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    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boxergirl View Post
    Gorgeous little name. Big congratulations ❤️

    I have a vibe of a little girl. DP thinks boy. One or the other lol
    We were the same both times. Dp was right both times 😁😂

  8. #287
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    almai is online now "you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have."
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    Quote Originally Posted by TortoiseNotTheHare View Post
    Thank you for being so honest!!

    I have to say I don't cope so well with loss of sleep normally but haven't been sleeping well since being preggo so hopefully this is breaking me into it a little. DW however needs very little sleep so hopefully that will help us out because we won't both be grumpy haha. I plan to breastfeed but hoping to pump so that DP can feed too. I think it would be nice from a bonding point of view. We want to have equal time with bub and at the beginning feeding will take up a lot of that (I'm assuming).

    We seem to be on the same page about how we want to do this parenting gig but I am sure that there are a million things that we haven't thought of but we will just need to talk those things through at the time.

    Dp used to need 8hrs solid sleep or she would be vomiting and a total write off the next day so that was quite hard when ds1 was born but this time, now that she birthed ds2, she is doing crazy good with little sleep and I'm struggling instead! It's amazing what the pregnancy hormones do for you!

    As for expressing to let the other parent feed:
    I think that is a good idea but really establish good bf 1st. Dp has inverted nipples and didn't do any research or practice on how to bf so when ds2 was born, he couldn't latch and she gave him formula and then expressed milk. By the time she researched techniques, it was too late and he was used to the bottle. She was happy to keep expressing and still does 3 or 4 times a day but it takes a lot of effort. Bf is taxing on the bf person but it really is easier overall if you can get a good supply.
    we have found mix feeding to be a more shared experience though I guess. And dp bonded to ds1 (who I bf) just as much as I have bonded with ds2 who is bottle fed.... So really do what ever works

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    I'm really hoping that those hormones kick in for me too and keep me going on little to no sleep! I can function but I get irritable when I'm tired so I feel sorry for DW!

    Yeah initially we'll try and keep it to boob feeds only while bub and I get the hang of it and then I'll try and pump to get DW involved in feeds as well.

    It's good point about researching and being prepared. I'll try and learn as much as I can before bub arrives but I guess it will be trial and error to begin with. I hope that I get a decent supply!

    It's good that Sonny is being such a good little bub 😊

    Pretty sure we need some updated pics of the bubs!

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  11. #289
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boxergirl View Post
    She sounds like a dream baby ❤️

    May I ask where you ladies had testing times? Lack of sleep etc?
    I think on balance we have been very fortunate. The first two weeks were hard while we tried demand feeding. Having home visits from the midwives then the MCHN telling us that DDs weight was too low has hard. I can't remember a home visit where K didn't cry. And when we had one visit with a weight gain we thought things had turned around then the next visit her weight was down what she had gained then some.

    We then bought a pump (spectra S2) and booked in with a lactation consultant recommend by another lady in our dig. From the start of week three we got a routine from the LC and haven't looked back. Tbh 3 hour feeds during the day and 4 hours at night didn't leave a lot of time for much. As each feed was taking an hour - 30 min breast then top up then 30 min pumping or formula/breast bottle then 30 min of pumping. While we were both home easy to manage, however while I was at work K was saying it could take 1:30 if DD was unsettled.

    The upshots to having a routine?
    1- weight gain to keep the MCHN happy.
    2 - I could help with feeds while K pumped and have quality time with DD
    3- 9 weeks later DD gets it and isn't cluster feeding or waking at all hours.

    We had to top up with formula for 6-7 weeks but have been ebm for around 3 weeks now, this makes K feel so proud.

    In terms of lack of sleep? We never had more than 6-7 hours pre baby so I thought we would be fine. And for the most part it has been. There has been 1 day at the start when I was so tired I felt hung over and the 3 pm slump at work is a real thing. K and DD however go for another sleep around 6-9 or however the feed works out and they seem to manage with that. I've been known to have a snooze on the couch after dinner with DD as it gets closer to the weekend.

    We prepared for the worst, accepted that it would be hard and to not be too set in how we wanted things to be. So far this is working for us.

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  13. #290
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    almai is online now "you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have."
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    Sounds like you are on a good path chekry
    Naps are the best things ever!


 

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