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  1. #271
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    Default Same sex parents or parents to be chat!

    Quote Originally Posted by TortoiseNotTheHare View Post
    Sounds like you guys are definitely enjoying your newborns!!

    I'm curious about the most challenging aspects too. I know it will vary for everyone but keen to hear what you went through in the first few weeks. Don't get me wrong, we're all here because we want that little bundle of joy but I know it's not all roses so don't feel like you need to sugar coat anything.

    I feel like sometimes society would judge people for saying there are some parts of parenting that down right suck. It can't all be great all the time haha. We are all human! I'm sure DW and I will want to crawl under the sheets and hide at some point

    Also, if you knew then what you know now, what would you do differently? Trying to take some wisdom from you mums haha.

    PS - name hunting is hard!!!
    I agree, it's so easy to freak out about being a first time mumma - and I've been a nanny for 16 or something years. I'm crapping myself

    Names, yes!! Could discuss all day.

    We have ours picked out. Definitely not common, but not too out there, hopefully
    Last edited by Boxergirl; 17-07-2016 at 16:40.

  2. #272
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    Ps: we like surname-y type names

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    almai  (17-07-2016)

  4. #273
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    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
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    The hardest part of having a newborn - or a child at all really - for me is the relentlessness. I struggled with the fact that he was so dependent on me (particularly because he was breastfed and never took a bottle) and it just was emotionally and physically exhausting. It's still present although in a different way now he's nearly 3.

    Having said that, I find the newborn days a piece of cake compared to toddlerhood, so I'm pretty fine about going through it again!
    @Boxergirl - so excited for you! Are you guys finding out the sex?

    Naming is tough. It was easy last time but we struggled this time. However we've chosen her name and absolutely love it. Only 12 weeks until we can put the face to the name!

  5. #274
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    @rainbow road yes, dying to know!!

    As Bub is a pgd baby, technically sex is known at conception but the clinic will ethically only tell us at around 14 weeks. Hurry up, already!!


    Is little girls name being kept a secret or can you tell us? ❤️

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    My biggest struggle was having a baby who was a shocking sleeper. DP and I pushed through months of sleeplessness, I'm talking up to 15 wake ups a night and not sleeping more than 20 minutes at a time during the day. We were so burnt out. I cried all the time and felt like I had completely failed. I lost all my confidence and developed PND.

    We got a sleep consultant in 2 weeks ago and I'm happy to report DD now only wakes twice a night for her bottles and she can sleep for at least an hour during the day.

    My biggest advice for first time mums would be to seek help early if you don't feel right. As soon as I started on meds and my GP validated that we were doing it really rough I felt a million times better. My biggest regret is allowing google searches to make me feel like a failure and not getting help with the sleeping earlier.

    Oh and join a mothers group. It is invaluable talking to other mums who are going through the exact same thing. I only discovered mine in the last month, I wish I had joined earlier.

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    Kazzy36  (17-07-2016)

  8. #276
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    Thanks ladies! Some great tips as well @A&S! I can understand why you would feel like you had failed because I would feel much the same being in the moment but as an outsider I can see that you love that little bub and have tried a number of ways to help her (and yourselves) sleep better which makes you a winner! It's easier said than done but don't be too hard on yourself!

    What was it that the sleep consultant did that helped so much? It's great that it's helped!!

    Names... Hmm... Far out lol. It's such a big task to chose someone else's name! @Boxergirl are you keeping your top names under wraps? We have had a few names from on the list from a while back but I want more options.. So the search is on. We won't choose bubs name til they are born and we get to know them a little. We also said we wouldn't introduce the baby with a name to everyone else for at least 24 hours just to be sure that we have given ourselves time to pick a name that suits. I guess that might change if we are suddenly 100% after meeting bub.

  9. #277
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boxergirl View Post
    @rainbow road yes, dying to know!!

    As Bub is a pgd baby, technically sex is known at conception but the clinic will ethically only tell us at around 14 weeks. Hurry up, already!!


    Is little girls name being kept a secret or can you tell us? ❤️
    @Boxergirl - we aren't very secretive 😂 we figure that meeting her will be exciting for everyone even if they already know her sex and name. Also, we are getting a friend to water colour some personalised artwork for her bedroom and my mum will make her a personalised blanket so now she's got a head start ImageUploadedByThe Bub Hub1468745083.784705.jpg

    I can't wait to find out what you're having! Do you have a vibe?

    A and S is totally right. My advice is trust your gut! Mummy instinct is usually right. I've always been probably over confident in my ability to parent because I had been on bubhub so long before even TTC, so I kind of already had done all the research for all the big issues and was also on the same page as DP which is a huge help.

    Another friend of mine struggled for so long before she just threw away the books at 6 months and followed her gut and was so much happier after!

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    almai  (17-07-2016),Boxergirl  (17-07-2016),Kazzy36  (17-07-2016),TortoiseNotTheHare  (17-07-2016)

  11. #278
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    almai is offline "you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have."
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    I think the lack of sleep really gets to you the most. You don't act rationally when you are tired and are more likely to snap at everything (well dp and I do) so taking turns doing night feeds (if you bottle feed) or one bf over night and the other take baby in morning so Bf mumma can have a few hours solid sleep.
    Also talk.... Dp and I have had very different views on feeding schedule, settling techniques etc and so each got annoyed at each other but we talk more now and have got a good routine that works (at least for now).
    Plus things change daily so you need to be flexible... And patient.
    It's hard being a mum but it's all so very worth it when the little angels are asleep

    I'm so thankful the ds2 is a much easier baby than ds1 was. He has his moments but overall he's great.

  12. #279
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    almai is offline "you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have."
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    And I second joining a mums group especially online. I find mums talk more openly online and are generally having the same issues as you.
    And yep, trust your instincts, no one knows your baby better than you

  13. #280
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    Quote Originally Posted by almai View Post
    I think the lack of sleep really gets to you the most. You don't act rationally when you are tired and are more likely to snap at everything (well dp and I do) so taking turns doing night feeds (if you bottle feed) or one bf over night and the other take baby in morning so Bf mumma can have a few hours solid sleep.
    Also talk.... Dp and I have had very different views on feeding schedule, settling techniques etc and so each got annoyed at each other but we talk more now and have got a good routine that works (at least for now).
    Plus things change daily so you need to be flexible... And patient.
    It's hard being a mum but it's all so very worth it when the little angels are asleep

    I'm so thankful the ds2 is a much easier baby than ds1 was. He has his moments but overall he's great.
    Thank you for being so honest!!

    I have to say I don't cope so well with loss of sleep normally but haven't been sleeping well since being preggo so hopefully this is breaking me into it a little. DW however needs very little sleep so hopefully that will help us out because we won't both be grumpy haha. I plan to breastfeed but hoping to pump so that DP can feed too. I think it would be nice from a bonding point of view. We want to have equal time with bub and at the beginning feeding will take up a lot of that (I'm assuming).

    We seem to be on the same page about how we want to do this parenting gig but I am sure that there are a million things that we haven't thought of but we will just need to talk those things through at the time.

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