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  1. #1
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    Default Time-out spot for a two year old - yes/no?

    I've heard a lot of positive stories about giving kids time-out, having a spot for them to sit in for a certain amount of time (one minute for every year of their age - 2 mins for 2 year old) and then having them say sorry before they can come off their spot.

    But, does a two year old understand the word sorry? Or will this teach him that it is a magic word that magically fixes everything without actually feeling any regret? Does it matter if they do/don't understand?

    I'm just trying to get a balanced view of this discipline technique before applying it. Our nearly two year old does a couple things that I don't like and I'm not sure how to deal with it. My sister suggested the time-out as it worked well for her two.

  2. #2
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    I am no expert by any means, but I use time out for my almost-3yo DD. She gets 2 minutes standing against a wall (which makes it easier when we're not at home since it's not necessarily a particular spot). I always give her an opportunity to stop the behaviour or do what I asked by counting to 3 then she gets a time out.

    I don't make her say sorry as I don't think if really means anything to her at this stage.

    I find time outs are good for breaking the momentum of a tantrum or naughty behaviour and she usually calms down afterwards. As soon as the time out is done I offer an activity and behave like all is well again. Staying cranky or dragging it out just makes it worse!

    I'm slowly reading 1-2-3 Magic, once I get through it I'll adjust our techniques and see how it goes.

    Good luck!

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    debsch  (25-06-2014)

  4. #3
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    I just gave my kids a place to calm down and re-group. Sometimes it meant I walked away from them, sometimes it meant they went in their room. I never used the words 'time out' and if they were in their room and started playing straight away I didn't care...I would go and have a brief chat to them (say if they were hitting someone I would say 'it's not nice to hit people, it hurts them' and then invite them back out). If they wanted to stay put I'd leave them be. I just think if a toddler has calmed down after 30 seconds then there's no point getting them angry about making them sit in one spot for two minutes. Of course I could just feel this way because you would have to have sat on my first child to make her stay in one spot for misbehaving as a toddler. It was like waving a red flag in front of a bull the couple of times I did try it.
    Even now when my kids are not behaving appropriately or not listening and being rowdy I'll ask for them to go and spend 5 minutes on their beds calming down and to have a think about how they should be behaving. They come out after the 5 minutes and are much better behaved. They're well past toddler age now though, and know that if they want to argue with me they get an extra 5 minutes added on each time they refuse to go and calm down

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    debsch  (25-06-2014)

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    I'm not a fan of time out but I started asking DS around 2 when he was getting cranky to stop and take a deep breath - and tell me why he's cranky - sounds silly but I did it as well and he then copied and it literally makes them stop and take a breath and snaps them out of it a little - even now at 3.5 he stops on his own and you can see him taking a breath and thinking and more often than not tells me to stop and take a deep breath when I'm getting frustrated!

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    debsch  (25-06-2014)

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    I went to a parenting course recently and they said no to time out. Their reasoning was that it's better to do time in, where you help to organise the child's emotions/feelings and explain to them what they've done wrong. If you're interested search the net for circle of security time in.

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    debsch  (25-06-2014)


 

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