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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default Time-out spot for a two year old - yes/no?

    I've heard a lot of positive stories about giving kids time-out, having a spot for them to sit in for a certain amount of time (one minute for every year of their age - 2 mins for 2 year old) and then having them say sorry before they can come off their spot.

    But, does a two year old understand the word sorry? Or will this teach him that it is a magic word that magically fixes everything without actually feeling any regret? Does it matter if they do/don't understand?

    I'm just trying to get a balanced view of this discipline technique before applying it. Our nearly two year old does a couple things that I don't like and I'm not sure how to deal with it. My sister suggested the time-out as it worked well for her two.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
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    I am no expert by any means, but I use time out for my almost-3yo DD. She gets 2 minutes standing against a wall (which makes it easier when we're not at home since it's not necessarily a particular spot). I always give her an opportunity to stop the behaviour or do what I asked by counting to 3 then she gets a time out.

    I don't make her say sorry as I don't think if really means anything to her at this stage.

    I find time outs are good for breaking the momentum of a tantrum or naughty behaviour and she usually calms down afterwards. As soon as the time out is done I offer an activity and behave like all is well again. Staying cranky or dragging it out just makes it worse!

    I'm slowly reading 1-2-3 Magic, once I get through it I'll adjust our techniques and see how it goes.

    Good luck!

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    debsch  (25-06-2014)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    May 2014
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    I just gave my kids a place to calm down and re-group. Sometimes it meant I walked away from them, sometimes it meant they went in their room. I never used the words 'time out' and if they were in their room and started playing straight away I didn't care...I would go and have a brief chat to them (say if they were hitting someone I would say 'it's not nice to hit people, it hurts them' and then invite them back out). If they wanted to stay put I'd leave them be. I just think if a toddler has calmed down after 30 seconds then there's no point getting them angry about making them sit in one spot for two minutes. Of course I could just feel this way because you would have to have sat on my first child to make her stay in one spot for misbehaving as a toddler. It was like waving a red flag in front of a bull the couple of times I did try it.
    Even now when my kids are not behaving appropriately or not listening and being rowdy I'll ask for them to go and spend 5 minutes on their beds calming down and to have a think about how they should be behaving. They come out after the 5 minutes and are much better behaved. They're well past toddler age now though, and know that if they want to argue with me they get an extra 5 minutes added on each time they refuse to go and calm down

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    debsch  (25-06-2014)

  6. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
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    I'm not a fan of time out but I started asking DS around 2 when he was getting cranky to stop and take a deep breath - and tell me why he's cranky - sounds silly but I did it as well and he then copied and it literally makes them stop and take a breath and snaps them out of it a little - even now at 3.5 he stops on his own and you can see him taking a breath and thinking and more often than not tells me to stop and take a deep breath when I'm getting frustrated!

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    debsch  (25-06-2014)

  8. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I went to a parenting course recently and they said no to time out. Their reasoning was that it's better to do time in, where you help to organise the child's emotions/feelings and explain to them what they've done wrong. If you're interested search the net for circle of security time in.

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to Taiyed For This Useful Post:

    debsch  (25-06-2014)


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