My husband & I have been together forever, each others one and only. We have always got along & had heaps in common. Lately I'm feeling a shift in the relationship. For almost 10 years I have been the breadwinner in our household, due to DH having anxiety issues & a disability. Just lately I go to work, I come home & I find myself wanting to be alone. He offers to drive me to work some days & I would rather just drive on my own. Once I get home I go straight to the shower & by the time I get out he is playing video games, which I am so sick of hearing so I just go to the bedroom & go on the internet. If we do sit down & talk, say at dinner, he ends up on these rants which I just zone out of, my brain is too fried from work to even keep up with what he is saying. We even seem to be annoyed by each others choice in tv, music & hobbies.
I told him today that we are just opposites at the moment. I have not been well & I work 5 days a week in a very demanding job, I come home wanting to relax. But he is someone who most of the time has had no human interaction all day & wants mental stimulation (not to mention the physical) when I get home. He told me that when I do have days off I do insignificant things like vacuuming, a load of washing & cook dinner. Insignificant as I don't have to do them, which I can only assume he is trying to say makes him feel inadequate, yet I get the sense it is expected of me. But I do feel he could do more to help me out sometimes. He won't do groceries or visit family on his own, we HAVE to do them together (preferably I just do it on my own) & it's just exhausting to me. Sometimes I think a relationship is just so much hard work I would rather be single.
Has anyone felt like this before? We have been together for 16 years and I love him to death-I would never look elsewhere. We still have good days but I just feel like lately we are opposites and worry about bringing a future child into the situation if in fact it made it worse.