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  1. #1
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    Default Continued...

    After all the tears and pain if she would have checked me I would have saved myself a lot of stress and pain. Turns out she gets a lot of complaints against her, has been a midwife for 10 years and has NO KIDS!!! What a joke she ruined my birth experiance.
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  2. #2
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    Sorry your birth was not what you wanted.

    But, I don't think having kids makes a difference (or at least being through labour/birth)

    I have had 2 male midwives in my time and they have been amazing.

  3. #3
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    Sorry your birth experience was terrible! If can be pretty traumatizing but I agree with pp, having kids doesn't guarantee a great midwife. Some people are just plain nasty.

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    I'm so sorry for your birth experience not being ideal and leaving you feeling so upset. I would make sure you lodge a formal written complaint to the hospital about your concerns. Most hospitals have a policy of doing an internal check prior to inserting an epidural so I'm surprised she didn't ask to do this.

    I know many midwives are good at 'reading' their patient's external signs to determine how far along they are. Some women much prefer this as it avoids internals that can be painful and distressing to some women.

    This doesn't work for someone like me who doesn't externalise a lot of pain. I was hooked up to the monitor and my midwife commented that if she wasn't seeing the numbers going up so high on the machine she wouldn't have thought I was having such strong contractions as I was not letting on that I was in much pain.

    My own birth was a bit like your child's. My mum knew I was ready to come out but the midwife was telling her no way. I was her 2nd child so she had the confidence to just wait til the midwife next came into the room (to catch the baby!) and then she just pushed me out. The midwife was shocked to say the least! Since her first birth had had a lot of intervention without permission given (stirrups, episiotomy, forceps) she was much happier with my birth even though she thought the midwife was an idiot for not listening to her.

  5. #5
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    Yes i suppose that's true but after 10 years and your heart isn't really into "caring" any more find a new job geeez! I was so thankful for the other midwife or else who'd known how long and if anyone would have noticed I was 10cm and ready to go. The pain wasn't too bad just the fact she made me feel like a whingy needy pregnant woman. She just made me feel degraded and like a kid that was being naughty

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    Yes, definitely put in a complaint.

    I forgot to add. I've had two emergency CS and my first left me feeling quite traumatised. Something that helped, though I wasn't ready to start doing this until about 6 months after, was to read other people's birth experiences, the good, the bad and the ugly. This helped me to get some perspective on my own birth, to see that in many ways it worked out so well and also that my feelings towards it were justified. I think it helped me a lot when my 2nd birth also didn't go to plan, I coped so much better and felt no trauma afterwards.

  7. #7
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    Thanks ladies,
    I just wanted to share my experiance. I'm not going to complain to the hospital just a few things that seem should have been done better.
    I'm happy I have a healthy little miss and although my experiance wasn't enjoyable it won't stop me having another. Thanks for all the replies, I guess I'm just angry about the midwifes attitude and sensitivity.

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