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  1. #11
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    You have been given some great advice and it sounds like you know in your heart what you want. I know myself that I could never abort in that situation, its just not for me. I would end up resenting a partner for giving me no option which would likely be the end of the relationship. That being said, he may come around to the idea. It is a hard thing to process when it changes your life plans so completely and guys seem to be more disconnected to the pregnancies in the early days in general (obviously with some exceptions). You have your family's support so you will be able to do it. It is definitely rewarding.

  2. #12
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    Hi Hanbxx, I have been in a similar situation (although my partner was much more supportive) and found myself with an unplanned pregnancy at age 20 and my partner 23. I found out I was 6 weeks pregnant when I had only been with him for 4 months! I was quite scared, I didn't know how he would react and I wasn't ready for kids. When I told him, DP was shocked and scared and upset and said he would prefer me to have an abortion but would support me whatever I chose. I umm'ed and ahh'ed about the situation before we told our families. DPs parents were very supportive, mine not so much! But I have a wonderful big sister who was always in my corner and told me I would never reget my child. She was completely right, I now have an almost 12 mo who I love with all my heart! She has changed me for the better and I really couldn't imagine life without her. I don't regret keeping her one bit. I say to my partner that we would've had kids one day, we just started a little earlier than expected!

  3. #13
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    Some great support here and I just want to give you my support and let you know we are all here for you. You sound very mature and it's great your family is supportive, that's such a wonderful help!

  4. #14
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    I've never been in your position, but it's so important to do what YOU want.
    Don't let yourself be put under pressure and don't make decisions on time restrictions.
    I get that your boyfriend is scared, but you are too, so please try focus more on yourself than your boyfriend right now.
    A partner might not be around forever, but a child will. And you will NEVER regret a child, you might regret the circumstances around it all but you won't regret your child.

    I was 19 when I fell pregnant with my daughter.
    It was hard, and still is, but I had the support of my mum was what helped me the most.
    Dd is nearly 4 and and I just can't imagine life without her.
    As the months and years passed since her birth I find my self being more and more capable and realizing that although I'm a young mum, I can do it.

    I was never pressured to have an abortion, so I can't even imagine the stress and anxiety you must be under.
    Perhaps asking to see a counselor to talk through what's going on will be beneficial, they do help a lot and it might help you in making a confident decision that you want.

    Take care of yourself

  5. #15
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    Hi
    Well this is a big concern isn't it.. either way you go, your choice is final and that in it's self is a little scary… I've been in the same kind of position as well.

    When I was 21 I was dating a guy for around 5 months, and we broke up. it was about 2 weeks after the break up I found out I was pregnant. Geez great timing right? Anyway.. I knew straight away… no questions asked that I didn't want it. It wasn't the right time for me, I had no family close by and I couldn't compahend having a baby.
    So I guess it was lucky for me that I was so certain. but even now I think, wow if I had kept it I would have a 7 year old.
    Be ready for either hard ship.
    I know for me I made the right choice. Make sure you have that for yourself as well.

    Best of luck ! Big hug!

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hanbxx View Post
    Thankyou tadpoles, I'm sorry you had to go through that so young... I don't want to live with regret, and I think I am willing to do it alone. It will be hard financially, exotically, physically but I couldn't imagine anything more rewarding
    It sounds like you already have your answer in your heart. And like a prior poster mentioned, if you abort because you feel pressured into it, your relationship might not survive. It would be quite likely that you would feel differently about your boyfriend if you felt you had an abortion to keep him happy and regretted it later.

    You sound like a mature and strong woman. The fact that your family is supportive will make a big difference for you I think. You won't be "alone" regardless of how your relationship with your boyfriend turns out. Good luck

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  9. #18
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    You lady's are wonderful! Thanks for all your advice and support! It's been so so hard, just as an update, he has said if I go through with it, we do not have a relationship anymore because he's not ready to settle down. He says he will still 'pay his dues' for the baby but not be there for me. However if I go through with the termination he will support me. I can understand where he's coming from because we're so early into our relationship and he's so young. But I'm not basing my decision on if he will be around. I'm trying to cut him out of the picture completely in my head and thinking what will be best for me. Part of me still wants to keep it and another part of me thinks if I terminate then one day I will have the chance to do it right with a partner who wants it as well and will go through it all with me and I can start a career and buy a house and all of that..
    We are going to counselling tonight with an open mind to look at all our options.
    I hope we can agree on an outcome

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  11. #19
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    tough decisions to make...
    I've never been in your position before but sort of understand the dilemma you're in.
    I don't mean to offend you but it just occurred to me now that would yourself/your partner consider adoption? that way you could still be together??? and wouldn't have to worry much about doing it all alone

    In the end, I think what matters most is that you follow your heart such that you don't have regrets later on

    Hoping your counseling session comes out good today

    Hugs

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  12. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by QueenKaks View Post
    tough decisions to make...
    I've never been in your position before but sort of understand the dilemma you're in.
    I don't mean to offend you but it just occurred to me now that would yourself/your partner consider adoption? that way you could still be together??? and wouldn't have to worry much about doing it all alone

    In the end, I think what matters most is that you follow your heart such that you don't have regrets later on

    Hoping your counseling session comes out good today

    Hugs

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using The Bub Hub mobile app

    I have considered adoption but am not sure I could emotionally bring myself to do so. I feel like I am already quite attached and I wouldn't be able to let go of my child after carrying it for 9 months. But I am definitely not ruling it out as an option and hopefully will learn more about it tonight. Thanks so much for your advice
    Last edited by Hanbxx; 28-06-2014 at 01:06.


 

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