My partner has 5 children to his ex wife. They've been separated on and off for three years, and eventually completely ended their marriage in November of last year when he was asked to move out cause she didn't want to be married anymore. She had spent a very long time online, up to 20 hours a day chasing other men, and sometimes he would stay home at night so she could go out and meet up with these men who she said were only "friends", however the content of her conversations proved otherwise! Their children witnessed a lot of arguments over this happening, and witnessed their mother kick their father out time after time. My partner is a very very loyal man! Anyway, since he's moved out and met me and is genuinely happy, we have both become victims of his ex wives domination and destructive behaviour which she expresses around her children and encourages them to cause trouble to not accept their fathers life with me. Social media has and is being abused something chronic and she is playing the victim bringing her children into every argument! Three of his children, twin girls aged 9 and a girl aged 11 are rather happy to see me and spend time with their father when I'm there with him. They tell me that their mum wants them not to like me. Their son 17 is constantly very accepting to our faces yet changes once he's around his mother, but their 13 year old daughter goes ballistic!!???? Slamming doors, screaming, swearing, yelling obscenities, refusing to talk, refusing to be near me, she's blaming me for EVERYTHING despite the fact that I had nothing to do with their separation... And I do not react to their mothers abuse of me on social media! This girl won't give me a chance at all! And I'm not sure what to do about it? Apparently their mother also had another partner for a short while and their daughter reacted the same way towards him. I'm not going to leave my partner for any reason, he's a wonderful caring loving man (if not a bit of a glutton for punishment!) but he has had to physically restrain his daughter to stop her from hurting herself during these outbursts, and he has been pushed to the edge with their severity. We are recently engaged, and we would like to live together, their daughter is in counselling and has been for a while but it's not helping at all! I don't like the fact that she makes such a huge deal out of the fact her parents have separated and she's upset over it. My children have been through separation too and have never acted like that!
I'm trying to be sensitive to this girls needs but I can't even approach her! I think maybe their could be other underlying factors for her and I'd like to help but I'm scared I'll do more harm than good! I have been told by their son that their mum spends all day and night trying to look for another man! This time could be better spent trying to help their children who are clearly in need of some love and support! My partner does what he can when she allows him to see them, they clearly love their dad but it's hard for them to accept me cause their mother is attempting to sabotage our relationship big time and using her kids to do it seems like her only option.
Any advice would be appreciated.