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  1. #1
    Mod-Nomsie's Avatar
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    Default My 5 year olds have gone crazy!!

    I don't know what's wrong with my boys. It's like they do the exact opposite of everything they know to be the right thing and then either don't care about the consequences, or have massive melt down tantrums.

    I just left them both in the bathroom for 5 minutes while I dressed dd; came back to powder and creams all over the floor, as well as baby nurofen, and those bottles are so tiny the stuff is like liquid gold to my teething dd. I gave them what-for, they gave me nothing.

    This morning at 5:15 they didn't like me forcing them to stay quiet and in their beds til 6; their room is trashed. Books everywhere, beds pulled apart. Their toilet has cleaner spurted all over it, paper all on the floor. Again their response in non-plussed.

    They were told this afternoon to put a new hose out the back, one decided to get the scissors and cut off the tape that keeps it coiled when you buy it. Again they were told to put it outside, and they mucked around with it through three more stern warnings from me til df lost it and yelled at them. Not before they tried to stretch it through the house though.

    This is just a small sample of today. This behaviour has been going for a couple of weeks. We've already taken their wii and ds's. if they could be nice without melting down or doing plain crazy stuff for just a few consecutive hours they would be rewarded with getting their things back, but it seems to be impossible!

    They're nearly 6, and so I know foresight and guessing consequences is still a ways away for them, but it's really tiring me out, all this extra work I'm having to do because of the weird or silly stuff they do?!

    Does anyone else have this problem?!

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    We went through a few weeks of having to try really hard to find things to praise our nearly 6 year old on. It's like he's in puppy mode! I had to take him grocery shopping the other day and it took me twice as long. So much energy. Sometimes I'll ask him nicely to do something or put something away and he'll start using this higher pitched argumentative voice back to tell me something as to why he can't or has not done it yet...then he would find himself sitting on his bed for some period of time afterwards. I generally find that it is when he is most tired that this sort of behaviour comes out. Also when bored he tends to do undesirable things like amuse himself by annoying his siblings! We have a no-get-out-of-bed rule until you have permission or if you need to go to the loo. We do let them read books in the mean time though that we usually place on the ends of their bed the night before or they can grab off their shelf and jump back into bed.
    We also find these things happen in cycles - it will be one child for a few weeks trying the boundaries out...then it will be someone else's turn. Give them a hug and keep on doing what you're doing, try and find at least one point in the week to do something one-on-one where they can get some positive interaction.

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    Noooo! My 2.5 yo acts like this all the time! Your telling me I have 3-4 more years?? Sorry I'm really not being helpful

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    Quote Originally Posted by [Mod] Zeddie View Post
    Noooo! My 2.5 yo acts like this all the time! Your telling me I have 3-4 more years?? Sorry I'm really not being helpful
    Thinking the same thing, even though I have raised 3 boys, the memory dims and is selective, I have to think hard about how awful it was at times. That's encouraging right? I wasn't scarred for life.

    Hugs Noms x 2 would be twice as exhausting and I bet they tag team you

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    Oh gosh it's hard. These boys have so much energy so have time to be stubborn and not do what they should be.

    I use the 1,2,3 method with my 5y.o DS and give him a time frame he has to do things eg 10mins until we go so toys packed up now. If not, toys go in a garbage bag and put away in my cupboard.
    I give lots of praise when he does things in the right behavior and especially if I didn't ask him to do something.
    He gets time out if doesn't listen and I've asked him to do something 5 times already.

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    Do they have to help clean up when they make a mess? With DS1 that helps him to realise the consequences of making messes.

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    I would be really coming down quite hard at that age. That sort of thing from a 5 year old (let alone 2) would do me in (as it's clearly doing you in).

    What immediate consequences do they face when they make a huge mess it something similar? Do you make them clean in up?

    Also are they mainly up to mischief when together? I have a close friend with 5 year old twins and she's working overtime at the moment keeping them occupied with different activities and friendships so they're not spending too much time together and (in her kids' case) fighting.

    Sorry I haven't got much else. I just know for my kids my consequences have to be really serious and immediate for them to have impact.

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    I would be cracking down really hard on that sort of behaviour too. At 5, they should well and truly know better. I would make them clean it up, and any complaining or procrastinating or plea bargaining would result in a count, then strike 3 and a time out. Then when they came out of time out, straight back to cleaning. I think immediate consequences are best for these things, or they just find new ways to make mischief without their favourite toys.
    I don't really know how to word this delicately, but I just couldn't even imagine my 4.5 year old doing that sort of thing. He is by no means an angel, and believe me he can tantrum like a champion, but I think emotional outbursts are different to trashing a room at this age. To me, that is just breathtakingly deliberately naughty behaviour. I guess I'm saying that I think nearly all 5 year olds would know exactly what they were doing, and I wouldn't make any allowances for it at all.

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    3 stern warnings then DF yelling? Try 1 stern warning detailing a consequence and then calmly following through as soon as their is a re offence.

    If bathtimes are a common problem time before bath give a run down of all the prohibited activities and their consequences. Then follow through.. Always follow through...
    - good luck!

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    It sounds like a nightmare!!

    At 5 almost 6 they certainly know right from wrong and need to learn to control their impulses. Twins can sometimes like to 'gang' up on mum & there is definite safety in numbers.

    My tips for behaviour management:

    * Set a routine & display it somewhere
    * If they make a mess, make them clean it and ensure they realise that they are missing out on a fun activity
    * Find their currency (what do they most like to do, favorite toy etc), use this to your advantage
    * Give warnings & explain consequences
    * whatever behaviour management plan you decide on, be consistent!!
    * Praise good behaviour
    * Remain calm, if they see you losing it they will be worse!

    Good luck mumma!!


 

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