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  1. #1
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    Default Nerves/stage fright/stress in kids

    Firstly sorry if this not in the right spot.

    Ok, so I have this situation with my 10year old. She has been attending dance lessons since she was 3, she had a break for a few months, all of it her choice. She is by no means under pressure to attend.

    The problem occurs after the big performances/concerts, she is excited and loves being a part of it, no problems beforehand....after, now that's where it beings, we try to celebrate by taking her to dinner, which is what she wants, but she just can't pull herself together, it starts off a head ache, and just snowballs, she feels dizzy, she literally turns so pale it petrifies me, she also becomes nauseous, she can't hold herself up, this is the first time she has actually vomited.
    So dinner is cut short. She literally can not walk on her own to the car, when we get home I need to change her into pj's because she is that unwell she can't do it on her own.
    Last year I had told her a week before a big concert that if it happens again I couldn't let her keep doing that to herself, and that she would no longer attend dancing, she was ok after that concert, although I could tell she had a headache but she kept it together, since then it has progressively become worse, with this being the worst ever incident.

    Now I'm just at a loss, and scared, she is a placid child, this is something she is great at I don't want to take it away from her.
    I'm also wondering is there a bigger underlying problem why this happens?
    After this last time I feel like I should perhaps go see a child psychologist.
    I feel so broken, it's terrible to see her like that I just don't know how to help her, I feel so helpless.

    Does anyone have any ideas/advice?

  2. #2
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    Can you try going straight home next time, not out to dinner, and see if being in a calmer environment has a different result. I know you said she wants to go out, but it's worth a shot I'd say.

    Sent from my GT-S7500T using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    sparklebug  (18-06-2014)

  4. #3
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    A couple times we tried going home, in the car it just progressed, and was the same by the time we got home, so that's why this time I went back to taking her out I thought it would take her mind off it, big mistake!
    Next time I'll go back to coming home, worth a try!

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    Quote Originally Posted by NAT2561 View Post
    Can you try going straight home next time, not out to dinner, and see if being in a calmer environment has a different result. I know you said she wants to go out, but it's worth a shot I'd say.

    Sent from my GT-S7500T using The Bub Hub mobile app
    I would try this first too. Perhaps suggest a celebration breakfast/meal the day after. It could just be that she is too overtired but the adrenalin is keeping her going. Some people react to being overtired by throwing up. For me, my temperature goes haywire, hot flushes and chills.

    IMO though it sounds like her body is just reacting to the huge release of excited hormones that happen when performing. I would try to keep the build up to concerts as calm as possible and make sure she eats well on the day, not too many lollies on the night. Also she may need an electrolyte drink (eg Gatorade) after as generally they don't drink much all afternoon of a concert as it's hard to go to the toilet. This might help with the headache.

    It doesn't sound like an anxiety thing though as this would be getting to her before the concert. Just the way her body reacts to the stress and excitement of it all.

    I'm actually going on the hunt for a dance school that doesn't do concerts for my DD. She loves dancing but the last concert we had nearly drove us all around the bend!

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    BH-KatiesMum  (18-06-2014),sparklebug  (18-06-2014)

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    Thanks, their teacher is really into promoting healthy food so on the day she won't have any junk food, but I hadn't thought of the Gatorade, will definitely give it a try next time.

    I kept looking at it as an anxiety issue, I hadn't thought of it as a physical reaction to it all, but that does make sense I'll try tackling it from that angle.

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    I would agree that it doesn't sound like anxiety as after the performance the stimuli for the anxiety is taken away. I liken it to when I have crammed for exams and once all the exams are over I have a bit of a melt down. Maybe the aftermath for her is a physical meltdown and exhaustion.

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    sparklebug  (18-06-2014)

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    You're all probably right being in the midst of it is hard to think clearly, but it certainly makes sense that it would not be anxiety.....now I just need to figure out a way for this to tone down a little.

    They're supposed to be taking a trip next year that she's looking forward to but I definitely don't think she'll be able to attend with things the way they are.
    Last edited by sparklebug; 18-06-2014 at 23:10.


 

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