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  1. #1
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    Default What age would you let bub stay over at exs

    I am newly single and have a question do I have the right to say when my ex takes my 9 month old ? She is 8 months old and he has her two nights a week . I really miss her during this time so much I end up in tears after I leave her. I worry as she is so little still. I don't have an issue with Him having her one whole day then stay one night and also the following day as this allows me to work two days but two nights away from me in a row is a lot. He does shift work so can't really pick other days to have off.

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    Quote Originally Posted by clucky14 View Post
    I am newly single and have a question do I have the right to say when my ex takes my 9 month old ? She is 8 months old and he has her two nights a week . I really miss her during this time so much I end up in tears after I leave her. I worry as she is so little still. I don't have an issue with Him having her one whole day then stay one night and also the following day as this allows me to work two days but two nights away from me in a row is a lot. He does shift work so can't really pick other days to have off.


    I told my ex when we first split our sons would not be sleeping over until they were 3! One was 3 and one was only 11 months old! I eventually caved and let DS2 stay one night a fortnight when he was just over 2 only because I had stopped breastfeeding. At first I had to be there for all visits when he had DS2 cause he couldn't look after him at all! Not even for an hour on his own!

    I would really think 9 months is way too young for over nights? Thankfully my ex has always just gone with what I ask especially if it means he sees the kids less which is sad for them but makes my life easier. Asking him to see them more than one night a fortnight now they are older is like pullling teeth though!

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    DD1 was 19mths when she first stayed with X after we split.

    She only went for one night each fortnight till she was 2.5 then it was 2 nights a fortnight

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    My dd will not be staying with her dad until she is 4 or 5. We separated when I was pregnant so she has had to slowly build her bond with him. Plus he never ever gets up to children at night and feels they should not disturb him when he's asleep so I will hold off as long as I can.

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    Well he didn't like the idea of one night stay but two whole days he got angry at me and of course got his way I gave in not that I wanted to he made me feel terrible .

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    DD started staying at FOB's one night a fortnight at 13 months, then from about 18 months it went to 2 nights a fortnight and it's still like that at 2.5.

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    Quote Originally Posted by crankyoldcow View Post
    Have you been to mediation?
    Nope

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    Thanks so much for your replies ! I still need to read those links you posted been a busy week but will get to it this weekend ! Thank you x

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    Quote Originally Posted by clucky14 View Post
    I am newly single and have a question do I have the right to say when my ex takes my 9 month old ? She is 8 months old and he has her two nights a week . I really miss her during this time so much I end up in tears after I leave her. I worry as she is so little still. I don't have an issue with Him having her one whole day then stay one night and also the following day as this allows me to work two days but two nights away from me in a row is a lot. He does shift work so can't really pick other days to have off.
    I left My ex when my DS was 9 months Old from 11 months he had him fortnightly for the weekend at first it was hard letting go but I go use to it

    Me + DP 01.03.2010 = DD 22.02.2011 + DS 20.01.2014 = <3

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    You have no problem with the care they receive its just you personally don't like being away for that time? I would say he also hates the other five nights he doesn't have them!
    I don't see a problem with an 8 month old staying over two nights at all......possibly you need to seek help to deal with it.

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