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  1. #1
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    Default Am I being over protective? (a dog thread)

    So my inlaws used to have a dog that was incredibly aggressive and they never had a clue how to train it, or handle it whatsoever. As time went on i the dog became worse... and eventually one day while sitting on SIL's lap, she was patting it... then it just turned around and attacked her and ripped her nose open.

    Inlaws refused to get rid of the dog to someone more able to handle it. It was a staffy crossed with a jack Russel i believe. And such a angry anxious aggressive dog. DH and i both tried to help them with training the dog but they never kept up with anything, they just kept being scared of the dog and letting it rule the house. Its also attacked other family members, and caused massive arguments.

    Anyways that dog has since been put down due to the fact it fell very ill. They now have another dog that SIL gave to them because she wanted a cat instead. Now this dog is a female... Im not sure of the breed actually so ill get back with that info, its more just a anxious dog that runs and hides... I havent ever seen the dog be aggressive...

    But because i am aware at how crap the inlaws are with any sort of dog training whatsoever.... I feel very uneasy with letting them look after DS. I hear too often of kids staying with grandparents and being mauled by the dog there.

    Their current dog isn't used to children, she doesn't want anything to do with DS .. but we have 2 dogs here that are very well trained and used to him, so they put up with him a lot with me supervising of course and ensuring he isn't hurting the dogs so then nothing will go wrong. I never ever fully trust any animals. But because DS is gorwing up with dogs here .. he LOVES dogs and will no doubt want to play with the inlaws dog. And sometimes if he isn't being watched, like any 2 year old he will get a bit much for them and will pull their ears, their tail... our dogs have bee trained since puppies to put up with that (it was part of our puppy school training we did with them and the best thing they ever taught us!)

    I really do not trust anyone elses dogs with my child ... because I haven't trained them. And if i wont be there.... I do not trust they will supervise to the level i would.

    MIL said to me the other day that she really would like DS to stay at their house for a day and night sometime, and that their (current) dog has never bitten anyone, its a completely harmless dog. My issue is - that dog is only known as being harmless so far as its only been around adults. It has not had to deal with a 2 year old for a extended period of time ever before. That can surely bring out a different side to a dog.

    MIL believes that the dog is completely fine and DH and I are worrying about nothing. But their track record with dogs is shocking. They just happen to have a more placid female dog this time, thank goodness... so the chances of it biting my son are a lot less than the previous dog. But i still just don't trust the inlaws at all as in my eyes they are incompetent with dogs. This dog they have never ever gets walked, no training at all.... comes and goes as it pleases, sits all over their furniture.... they are amazed at how well trained our dogs are, but the fact is they're nothing amazing with their obedience - they're just trained. Which the inlaws don't have any experience with. Dogs do as they please in their house.

    Anyways i wont ramble on but am i being silly? Should i just accept the dog they have now is not appearing to be anything like the last one and have faith a dog can be good without being trained? Am I being too hard on the inlaws with this?

    I wouldn't even go to their house when DS was a baby when they still had that other dog there. They could never be trusted to keep the dog outside while were were there. They never respected our wishes with it. Even with their current dog we'd ask for it to please be outside while we visit and DS would be crawling around the floor - yet MIL would let it walk in and would tell us it's ok. But they thought their last dog was ok and it mauled SIL's face.

    Thoughts? With their track record am I best to keep DS away? They are wonderful grandparents aside from this issue. I really wish they'd give up on owning dogs, seriously. I am terrified of taking any chances.
    Last edited by Serenity Love; 16-06-2014 at 14:28.

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    jojoscircus  (17-06-2014)

  3. #2
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    I will also add that when DH takes DS to visit, their current dog tries to hide and run away from him all the time.... DS can tend to chase after dogs that are doing that to try and make them play with him because he is used to our dogs and too young to understand fully when I tell him not all dogs are the same...

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    I think it's best to err on the side of caution. If you're not comfortable with their dog and therefore your ds staying at their house then they'll just have to accept it.

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    I wouldn't do it. I've worked with dogs my whole life and I would never risk my child being around a dog I didn't feel comfortable with. If they want to have your ds for a night, tell them they'll have to put the dog behind a locked and toddler proof door for the whole time, or board it overnight.

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    HillDweller  (16-06-2014),MsViking  (16-06-2014)

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    I wouldn't let any dog of theirs near my kids - or myself for that matter!

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    To a degree it sounds over the top, but at the same time YOU know your in laws and your son.
    If you believe that your son will be all over the dog, and that they can't be trusted to supervise either the dog or your son, then don't leave him there.
    If I were your MIL/FIL I would probably feel terrible that you didn't trust me enough to adequately supervise my grandchild, but hey, if something went wrong, you'd be the one who would have to live with yourself going against your gut feelings.
    It's a tough one.
    Not sure what your dogs are like with other dogs, but maybe you could do a swap. They have your son for the day, you take the dog for the day? Probably wouldn't work, just an idea.

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    sweetpeamummy  (18-06-2014)

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    Not overprotective. I don't fully trust trained dogs, let alone an untrained, nervous one around a toddler... Your ILs are being foolish to assume the dog won't hurt anyone.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    I think in your situation I would also be wary.

    I couldn't leave my DS with anyone who I didn't feel had his safety in mind 100% of the time.

    The fact that they wouldn't respect your wishes to keep the previous dog away from your DS when the dog was aggressive is worrying.

    I would hold off on leaving your DS there alone with them while he is still quite young. It'll not only give this new dog some time to show it's true nature, it'll also give your DS a chance to mature a little more and get more used to appropriate behaviour around dogs other than your own.

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    I would be equally concerned.

    I have two dogs myself and keep them away from kids. They are both trained but my kids are still learning how to be with dogs so it's just easier if I keep the dogs away from the kids (the younger ones that is).

    I really loathe it when people push their dogs onto others and tell you not to worry or that you're being silly. I never understand why someone would put themselves in a position where they take on that responsibility. I love my dogs but if someone else is worried about their kids around my dogs then no question - they win and the dogs stay outside.
    Last edited by Sonja; 16-06-2014 at 14:57.

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    I think your concerns are valid.

    Anxious dogs are dangerous dogs. I wouldn't trust it or them.


 

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