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  1. #21
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    A similar thing happened at my nieces school last year ( year 4) , I think its best to talk to the parent first, my sister went to the teacher first then got an abusive phone call from the other mother saying how dare she complain to the teacher she should have spoken to the mother first and she would have dealt with it - I've also come to realise that primary school girls seem to be really bit$hy these days but it all seems to blow over and we just tell my niece to ignore the nasty girls and just try rise above it , it all evened out now in year 5

  2. #22
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    I wouldn't want my child anywhere near the party of a child who made my child's life miserable.

    Just saying.

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  4. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunnyflower View Post
    I wouldn't want my child anywhere near the party of a child who made my child's life miserable.

    Just saying.
    I wouldn't either but I also wouldn't want her to feel left out when everyone was talking about it the next school day. It's a sucky situation

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  6. #24
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    Does your DD even want to go to the party ? She may not even want to go after all things being said. If she says no, tell her you understand, and you will tell the other mum that you are not going. If she wants to go, then I would be having words to the mother if any plans have changed and your DD being uninvited.

    After that I would have quiet words to the teacher, and kindly ask the teacher to please keep an eye on it, as your DD is getting quite upset that it is an ongoing thing, that she is now having to deal with daily

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  8. #25
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    Wow, what a horrible situation for your dd. Firstly I would ask whether your dd actually wants to go to the party. If she does, I would ring the mother and say, 'Hi, I'm just wanting to confirm that the party is still on and that dd is still invited as D mentioned in the playground that she was no longer invited'. Keep it short, sweet and to the point.

    In regards to the ongoing behavior, I would be requesting a meeting with her mother and the school. I would also be requesting that they are not in the same class in future. I would not tolerate my child being bullied and intimidated under any circumstances. I wouldn't be worrying about hurting the mothers feelings, your child's well being is much more important.

    Perhaps the mother isn't aware of the behavior at school? That's why it's important to include her in the meeting. But honestly, surely she would be aware, because I'm sure this behavior is also practiced at home. I would try and get the situation sorted before it does significant damage to your dd's self esteem.

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  10. #26
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    When I was about 7, I was being bullied by a girl at school. It was not really the "done thing", but my mum came to school with me, asked me to point out the girl, and walked straight over to her and had a chat. I don't know what my mum said, and I'm sure she wouldn't have been aggressive, but I never got bullied again. I've never forgotten it, and I'd do the same for my DD if it ever came to that, even if it meant incurring the wrath of the parents.

    If you've already spoken to the teachers, I think they've been given a fair chance to sort it out and it sounds like nothing has happened. Not really good enough IMO.

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    Quote Originally Posted by RipperRita View Post
    This would be how I'd deal with it.

    I would "talk" with my dd about how the things this girl does and says makes her feel and I would work out some "plans" or ways in which she can deal with it if it happens so she doesn't feel so helpless. I would have role plays where you play D and act out scenario's in the playground and responses that your dd can do and say that will help her feel amore empowered and less helpless.

    I know Its not really going to stop it happening (I know that would be the ideal thing but its hard to change others, only yourself and your own responses iykwim) but finding ways in helping your child be resilient and having a bag of "tricks" that they can call on when they need. By this I don't mean come up with rude or mean retorts, but more along the lines of you could A) walk away B) say I don't want to play with you at the moment because you are being unkind C) I would rather play with xyz anyway D) Go to the library E) stop, I don't like what you are doing. etc etc

    I know none of these really solve the problem itself but at least it will go some way towards making your dd feel like she has some options rather then just feeling victimised.

    xx
    Yes, this. There's always going to be mean kids. Your child needs to learn how to deal with them. My DD's grade is like this, have been since the first day of kindy, they are now in year 3, and there's always one who just doesn't let up with the nastiness (there's about 3-4 of them that seem to take turns in being the 'mean girl'). I've spoken to the parents, the teachers, other parents. Nothing changes. The only difference is my DD now knows how to deal with it and how to not let it bother her (most of the time).

  13. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cdro View Post
    When I was about 7, I was being bullied by a girl at school. It was not really the "done thing", but my mum came to school with me, asked me to point out the girl, and walked straight over to her and had a chat. I don't know what my mum said, and I'm sure she wouldn't have been aggressive, but I never got bullied again. I've never forgotten it, and I'd do the same for my DD if it ever came to that, even if it meant incurring the wrath of the parents.

    If you've already spoken to the teachers, I think they've been given a fair chance to sort it out and it sounds like nothing has happened. Not really good enough IMO.
    Oh my goodness, don't do this OP. You could be banned from school grounds for doing that! Not to mention you could have the wrath of the other parent to deal with (if someone had a go at my child without my say-so I would be ropeable).
    My best friends mum did this for her/to her all through school. She was terribly bullied for it, it was terribly embarrassing for her and she was the laughing stock of the school, because of the way the mum acted.

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  15. #29
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    Gothel is offline Skip the drama, stay with Mama!
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunnyflower View Post
    I wouldn't want my child anywhere near the party of a child who made my child's life miserable.

    Just saying.
    No I totally agree but I feel I need to let dd6 choose. If I tell her she can't go, I'm the bad guy. I've left it open to her, and I think she wants to go.


    @RipperRita I've tried acting out scenarios and arming her with phrases but she just doesn't seem to get it, I think it's partly maturity and partly confidence. She has started dancing and karate this year, specifically to help her with assertiveness and confidence. She has come a long way already but this kid is proving a challenge. I think we need to work on it a bit harder, I might ask my child psych friend if she has any resources. There's always going to be someone.
    Last edited by Gothel; 13-06-2014 at 15:56.

  16. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by CMF View Post
    Oh my goodness, don't do this OP. You could be banned from school grounds for doing that! Not to mention you could have the wrath of the other parent to deal with (if someone had a go at my child without my say-so I would be ropeable).
    My best friends mum did this for her/to her all through school. She was terribly bullied for it, it was terribly embarrassing for her and she was the laughing stock of the school, because of the way the mum acted.
    I have to admit it's a tempting thought and I had considered it, but what does it achieve? DD6 learns nothing, and will likely get treated worse for it. And I wouldn't like to frighten D either.

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