I'd call the mum and just be like
"Hi, just checking if my DD is still invited to the party, as D and a few others from school have told her she's not? We'd hate to show up if the girls have had a little spat and are going through a phase of not playing together."
Just in a blow it off easy breezy kind of way- ya know- as kids do.
Sorry, I know she's just a child but geez from where I'm standing she's a rotten little kid
If your dd still wants to go to the party, I would be calling her mum and saying 'dd told me she's no longer invited to the party, there may have been a miscommunication somewhere but I just wanted to confirm whether she is or isn't invited'.
If your dd is unsure whether she wants to go, I'd be tempted to take her to do something exciting instead.
I would call the number on the invitation and say "thankyou for thinking of DD6. I think there may have been a misunderstanding with the drafting of guest list as D has since withdrawn the invite. We hope the party is a good one."
There is no way in hell I would let my kid go to that party unless the mother promised to keep her little &$@@ of a kid in check. Otherwise it could be a awful experience for your daughter.
If a mother told me my kid I had acted like that I would tell my kid to bend over backwards to make DD6 feel comfortable about coming .... or the party is off.
Last edited by VicPark; 13-06-2014 at 18:14.
This would be how I'd deal with it.
I would "talk" with my dd about how the things this girl does and says makes her feel and I would work out some "plans" or ways in which she can deal with it if it happens so she doesn't feel so helpless. I would have role plays where you play D and act out scenario's in the playground and responses that your dd can do and say that will help her feel amore empowered and less helpless.
I know Its not really going to stop it happening (I know that would be the ideal thing but its hard to change others, only yourself and your own responses iykwim) but finding ways in helping your child be resilient and having a bag of "tricks" that they can call on when they need. By this I don't mean come up with rude or mean retorts, but more along the lines of you could A) walk away B) say I don't want to play with you at the moment because you are being unkind C) I would rather play with xyz anyway D) Go to the library E) stop, I don't like what you are doing. etc etc
I know none of these really solve the problem itself but at least it will go some way towards making your dd feel like she has some options rather then just feeling victimised.
Oh wow that girl sounds like someone I know. They're so frustrating and annoying!!
Definitely give your DD some strategies to use with this girl. Hopefully that girl will grow up and become a mature and nice person but for now she's not going to change.
I'd definitely speak to the school again regarding her misbehavior and treatment of others.
Regarding the party, just call up and advise your DD is attending/not attending and I'm sure the mum would let you know if fine to attend or not. I would mention what her daughter said to others to.
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