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  1. #11
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    Gothel is offline Skip the drama, stay with Mama!
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    Quote Originally Posted by SimplyMum View Post
    I would speak to the teacher/school and even perhaps if your DD is up to it- inviting D around for a play date, just to see the dynamics for myself. I would also work on building your DD assertiveness (to tell her to rack off).
    Regarding the dynamics, dd6 & D were both invited to another kids party last weekend. That child's mother told me this morning that when dd6 saw D arrive at that party, her face fell. She can't stand D. But it's a small school, the kids tend to play in small groups from within their own class. I just hope that next year dd6 is not in the same class group.

  2. #12
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    I'd call the mum and just be like
    "Hi, just checking if my DD is still invited to the party, as D and a few others from school have told her she's not? We'd hate to show up if the girls have had a little spat and are going through a phase of not playing together."

    Just in a blow it off easy breezy kind of way- ya know- as kids do.

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  4. #13
    Gothel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bpac View Post
    Couldnt you just say something along the lines of "DD came home today and said that plans had changed for the Bday and you just wanted to double check?"

    I dunno, i would hate to leave DD at a party where she might feel uncomfortable. I think that if i call the mum and asked it would put her mind at ease. Thats just me tho, i am probably wrong!
    No way known would I leave her there, if she goes I will be staying. So if I call and say "D said plans have changed", D's mum will say "what do you mean?" And I'll say... D told my dd that she's not invited any longer. I dunno how else I can say it without just spitting it out :/

    Sorry, I know she's just a child but geez from where I'm standing she's a rotten little kid

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gothel View Post
    Regarding the dynamics, dd6 & D were both invited to another kids party last weekend. That child's mother told me this morning that when dd6 saw D arrive at that party, her face fell. She can't stand D. But it's a small school, the kids tend to play in small groups from within their own class. I just hope that next year dd6 is not in the same class group.
    Have meeting with the school and request that don't be put in the same class next year.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Spout View Post
    I'd call the mum and just be like
    "Hi, just checking if my DD is still invited to the party, as D and a few others from school have told her she's not? We'd hate to show up if the girls have had a little spat and are going through a phase of not playing together."

    Just in a blow it off easy breezy kind of way- ya know- as kids do.
    This

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gothel View Post
    No way known would I leave her there, if she goes I will be staying. So if I call and say "D said plans have changed", D's mum will say "what do you mean?" And I'll say... D told my dd that she's not invited any longer. I dunno how else I can say it without just spitting it out :/

    Sorry, I know she's just a child but geez from where I'm standing she's a rotten little kid
    Yeah its a rotten thing for the kid to have said. And a horrible spot for your DD to be in. I wish i had some more advice. I hate bullying of any form and this is what is happening pure and simple.

    Does your DD want to go or is she more upset that she might miss out?

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    If your dd still wants to go to the party, I would be calling her mum and saying 'dd told me she's no longer invited to the party, there may have been a miscommunication somewhere but I just wanted to confirm whether she is or isn't invited'.

    If your dd is unsure whether she wants to go, I'd be tempted to take her to do something exciting instead.

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    I would call the number on the invitation and say "thankyou for thinking of DD6. I think there may have been a misunderstanding with the drafting of guest list as D has since withdrawn the invite. We hope the party is a good one."

    There is no way in hell I would let my kid go to that party unless the mother promised to keep her little &$@@ of a kid in check. Otherwise it could be a awful experience for your daughter.

    If a mother told me my kid I had acted like that I would tell my kid to bend over backwards to make DD6 feel comfortable about coming .... or the party is off.
    Last edited by VicPark; 13-06-2014 at 19:14.

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    This would be how I'd deal with it.

    I would "talk" with my dd about how the things this girl does and says makes her feel and I would work out some "plans" or ways in which she can deal with it if it happens so she doesn't feel so helpless. I would have role plays where you play D and act out scenario's in the playground and responses that your dd can do and say that will help her feel amore empowered and less helpless.

    I know Its not really going to stop it happening (I know that would be the ideal thing but its hard to change others, only yourself and your own responses iykwim) but finding ways in helping your child be resilient and having a bag of "tricks" that they can call on when they need. By this I don't mean come up with rude or mean retorts, but more along the lines of you could A) walk away B) say I don't want to play with you at the moment because you are being unkind C) I would rather play with xyz anyway D) Go to the library E) stop, I don't like what you are doing. etc etc

    I know none of these really solve the problem itself but at least it will go some way towards making your dd feel like she has some options rather then just feeling victimised.

    xx

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    Oh wow that girl sounds like someone I know. They're so frustrating and annoying!!
    Definitely give your DD some strategies to use with this girl. Hopefully that girl will grow up and become a mature and nice person but for now she's not going to change.
    I'd definitely speak to the school again regarding her misbehavior and treatment of others.

    Regarding the party, just call up and advise your DD is attending/not attending and I'm sure the mum would let you know if fine to attend or not. I would mention what her daughter said to others to.


 

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