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  1. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by ExcuseMyFrench View Post
    Me too.


    My DH is the opposite lol He would never let me be a SAHM
    I don't think that is any less controlling really. It doesn't sound like an equal partnership to me if one could afford to stay at home, and really wanted to, but the partner insisted they went to work.
    Last edited by Full House; 15-06-2014 at 16:28.

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  3. #82
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    When dd was 6 months and I went back I was ready to go back and work.
    Now that she is about to start school I wish I could have spent more time with er lately.
    Having said that. Yea I would have, I love my job and love the people I work with.

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  4. #83
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    Quote Originally Posted by Party of Three View Post
    I don't think that is any less controlling really. It doesn't sound like an equal partnership to me if one could afford to stay at home, and really wanted to, but the partner insisted they went to work.
    Hence the tongue smiley

    However just for argument sake, how does one afford to be a stay at home parents? It's usually by relying on the other parent income right?
    So it sounds fair that they are 100% on board with the arrangement...

  5. #84
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    Quote Originally Posted by lemonpancakes View Post
    I don't understand why some husbands want their wives to never return to work. Seems kind of controlling.
    I can only speak for mine. We believe that I should stay home forever because we think that is what is right for our family. Definitely not controlling. Joint decision before we got married that when we had kids that one of us would always be at home. We both have done it at times. I am better suited at it and I love it and he supports me in that.


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  7. #85
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    Quote Originally Posted by lemonpancakes View Post
    I don't understand why some husbands want their wives to never return to work. Seems kind of controlling.
    DH wanted me to stay home for 2 reasons 1) we both had SAHM mums and wanted the same for our DS and 2) he feels that I've worked long enough and wanted me to "retire " so to speak ! One of the reasons we started our own business was so I could stay at home the first few years and only work when I wanted or during school hours - I definitely can't afford to retire just yet but can work when I choose to a certain degree - I'm really lucky we both felt the same way as I hate him to want me to go back to work when I didn't want too

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  9. #86
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    Quote Originally Posted by ExcuseMyFrench View Post
    Hence the tongue smiley

    However just for argument sake, how does one afford to be a stay at home parents? It's usually by relying on the other parent income right?
    So it sounds fair that they are 100% on board with the arrangement...
    I still don't really get it (the tongue smiley). My brain is most likely fried from cramming for exams though, so feel free to ignore!
    As for the arguments sake...I don't know. I know my husband wasn't on board with me being a SAHM at first. He had a mum who worked 18 hours days 6 days a week and he saw no problem with that. But he knew it was really important to me to stay home so we compromised and said I'd go back to work when the kids were all at school. I've gone to study earlier than that though, because I ended up wanting more stimulus than what I was getting, and again my DH has supported me, even though it takes me out of the family dynamics for a huge chunk of time each week and I have zero income. It's not because we don't need the money, we do. It's so I can have a career, rather than have a low income job that I hate for the rest of my life. I have supported DH in his chosen career path for the last 15 years as it is really important to him, even though I'm not always 100% on board with it and has caused our family a fair bit of stress at times over the years. It's the same with me being a SAHM for 7 years...DH found it stressful being the sole income earner at times, but supported me to be a SAHM because he knew it was really important to me, and now he is supporting me through my studies. Life isn't easy, but I think it's important to support your partner in things in their life that is really important to them. DH talks about taking a back seat in his career and being home with the kids more once I'm working. This will mean I will have to work full time, which I actually don't want to do...but I have agreed to if we can afford to live off my wage so that DH can spend more time with the kids for a few years. It's about supporting each other so that each can get the most out of their lives as individuals, as well as being mindful that it takes two to have a relationship.Therefore, I don't believe you have to be 100% on board all the time, no.

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  11. #87
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    I think the connotation of a man wanting his wife to stay at home against her will is what's being thought of when someone says "I want to work but my husband wants me to stay at home". It brings with it images of a very old fashioned notion of a woman chained to the kitchen sink, so to speak.

    I don't think the pp was contemplating it when both parties are ok with the arrangement.

  12. #88
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    I think the connotation of a man wanting his wife to stay at home against her will is what's being thought of when someone says "I want to work but my husband wants me to stay at home". It brings with it images of a very old fashioned notion of a woman chained to the kitchen sink, so to speak.

    I don't think the pp was contemplating it when both parties are ok with the arrangement.
    For the record - my hubby certainly doesn't force me to stay at home, he would support my decision to work. However he would prefer for me to stay at home with our daughter.

  13. #89
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    I think the connotation of a man wanting his wife to stay at home against her will is what's being thought of when someone says "I want to work but my husband wants me to stay at home". It brings with it images of a very old fashioned notion of a woman chained to the kitchen sink, so to speak.

    I don't think the pp was contemplating it when both parties are ok with the arrangement.
    I don't know if anyone has said they want to work but their husband wants them to stay at home though? Maybe I have just missed it

  14. #90
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    Quote Originally Posted by dee1 View Post
    For the record - my hubby certainly doesn't force me to stay at home, he would support my decision to work. However he would prefer for me to stay at home with our daughter.
    ok well that's great then.


 

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