Hi all. I have something that I'm finding is bothering me. It sounds stupid and I hope I have put this in the right forum but I am looking for some relevant feedback so here goes:
I read a book called "Heaven is For Real" - a book written by an American pastor claiming his son went to Heaven, met Jesus, sat on his lap, etc after becoming dangerously ill with a ruptured appendix when he was 3.
Although I do have faith, I was, and remain, highly skeptical about what was written for various reasons which I won't go into here as that's not what this thread is about.
What it is about is a premise that was made in the book about miscarriage as the author's wife had one when she was two months along. The author claims thathis son met this baby who was miscarried, that the child was a girl, described what she looked like and was about 4 or 5 as the girl was quoted to have said that she didn't have a name as she didn't get one and that she couldn't wait to meet her parents in Heaven. The boy was later found crying, saying he missed his sister and why was she in Heaven and not with them, etc...
I have had two miscarriages in my life. One at 9 weeks and the other at 13. My reaction at the time was that it was nature taking its course, that the event was unfortunate and upsetting but I didn't dwell on it as such. I processed it and moved on. My following pregnancies were full term and without incident. I have healthy, beautiful kids (that presently keep me up at all hours)
Now - gosh, I'm tearing up as I write this - now when I think of this part of the book I feel awful, as though I didn't pay enough attention or pray long enough...that somewhere in heaven there are two kids running around with no names waiting to meet me. Part of me tells me this is stupid. Just stupid. That the book was a load of crap, smacked of coaching and should be disregarded. Then another part of me asks what if..niggle, niggle.
Can I get some balance from you please? It's really bothering me for some reason.