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  1. #1
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    Default Step son driving me crazy!!

    Hi everyone
    I'm new to this forum thing but just needed some advice from other parents, so here goes.
    My husband and I have been together 3 years, when we met I knew he had a son who was 1 (almost 2) at the time, he is now almost 5. My husband usually had him every other weekend if work commitments didn't get in the way. I thought this little boy was the cutest and was proud to walk around looking like a little family. Not long after his 2nd birthday we had to move from NSW to QLD as my husband lost his job, we didn't get to see my SS very often, I then fell pregnant with our first together it was an exciting time for everyone including my SS. Throughout my pregnancy we had found out there would be some health issues with our little bubba so we moved back to NSW to be closer to family and I would give birth back home. Since having my little boy there have been ups and downs but all is going smoothly now, he is now 15 months old and I am expecting our 2nd in August. But since having my DS my perspective of my SS has changed and I can't seem to stand him, I know that sound horrible and I don't like feeling like this but I just don't look forward to him coming to stay on our weekends. I don't really know his mother but from the stories and talking to her she isn't the brightest star in the sky and this reflects in my SS behavior it is soo frustrating. I'm not sure if I'm feeling like this due to constant hormonal changes in the last 15 months or if it's just the reflection of his mother but it does bother me. I haven't told my husband because I know it will upset him and cause an argument.
    Can anybody please help?

  2. #2
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    Hi OP,

    What are the specifics of his behaviour? I have an almost 5 year old and he can be pretty damn irritating at the best of times! He can be lovely too of course but 4/5 year old little boys aren't a piece of cake.

    I split from my DS' dad when he was 18 months and we have both since re partnered. I guess I consider myself a package deal with him much like I would expect your partner did when he met you and already had a child.

    I reckon in time all going well he might become easier to manage maybe once your own kids are a bit older and when your stepson matures a bit!?

  3. #3
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    Without knowing specifics of his behavior, it could just be a stage he's at.. Or I'm thinking since becoming a mom the difference between your parenting style and his bio moms parenting style is clearer and obviously you prefer yours and there isn't much you can do about it.

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  5. #4
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    Hi thanks for your replies. I understand what you mean by a package deal and that's exactly how my husband put it when we met. Mostly what irritates me is how he speaks to me he is very demanding towards me and speaks to me like dirt especially when his dad isn't in hearing range I have pulled him up about it and have spoke to my husband about the way he speaks to me and occasionally he will say something to his son. He also calls me fat and says my mum isn't fat, but also his grandparents (my husbands parents) use to get up me for saying something to my SS if he had done something wrong, when I say use to I mean they don't speak to us anymore.
    So really it is mostly my SS's attitude toward me and the way he speaks to me that gets to me. Thanks again.

  6. #5
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    I don't know if its a hormonal "maternal instinct" thing that happens in the first few years after having your own babies but this isn't the first time I've heard this. It appears to happen quite frequently even when blended families are rock solid. I know it has caused some families a lot of of guilt and distress and a new baby can shake things up for step kids and make them unsure of their place in the family but give yourself and each other a break and be kind and forgiving to each other and hopefully things will go back to normal soon. Being part of a blended family can be incredibly challenging at times...
    Last edited by RipperRita; 10-06-2014 at 07:56.

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    BunInMyOven  (10-06-2014)


 

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