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  1. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ngaiz View Post

    But in all honesty, where else are they meant to go? They're not going to book a hotel due to the $$ and they can't do it at home. The fact that they may have a spouse is none of my concern unless it is a friend or family member.
    How about they not go there at all. No other place to do it is not an excuse for them to use public toilets. People who have se* in public toilets most likely have no regard for personal hygiene and who know what bodily fluids are left in/on cubicles. Public toilets aren't the most cleanest places anyways. They have their cars. They can go to a dark place or empty car park at night and use their cars

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  3. #72
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    I think the fact that so many of you were ignorant to this happening demonstrates how discreet the majority of it is.

    Now you all need to go through your phones/computers and delete your browsing history in case your OH wonders why you are googling local beats!! :P

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  5. #73
    Zombie_eyes's Avatar
    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
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    Grossss.

    Well i tried googling but nothing came up. ??

    I do know of one park tho and i don't take my kids there

    I couldn't bear to think of my husband doing something like that.... Eeek

  6. #74
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    See, I find it really strange that people AREN'T aware of beats. To me it's like all the people who camp in their vans at our local beach carpark; the playground that turns into a teen hangout after dark and many other unintended uses of public spaces.

    I certainly don't think it's ideal, but it's incredibly simplistic to say "well why don't they go elsewhere!?". Beats have been a part of gay culture for as long as gay culture has existed. I know of numerous beats in my city which were frequented at least a hundred years ago.

    Sure, our culture has change. There are more socially acceptable places and spaces for same-sex hookups, but the fact that beats are still so popular says something significant.

    ETA: Anonymity. No questions asked/no string attached sex. I think that's tied into the appeal. A hotel room requires some commitment. Even a car... you're moving into private space. Beats have always been mutually removed - public space, or somewhere that no participant is directly connected to.
    Last edited by Renn; 08-06-2014 at 14:44.

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  8. #75
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    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    The one that came up when I googled for my area specifically states "there is a playground nearby so be discreet and clean up after yourselves".
    Well, that's thoughtful

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  10. #76
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    Quote Originally Posted by Renn View Post
    See, I find it really strange that people AREN'T aware of beats. To me it's like all the people who camp in their vans at our local beach carpark; the playground that turns into a teen hangout after dark and many other unintended uses of public spaces.

    I certainly don't think it's ideal, but it's incredibly simplistic to say "well why don't they go elsewhere!?". Beats have been a part of gay culture for as long as gay culture has existed. I know of numerous beats in my city which were frequented at least a hundred years ago.

    Sure, our culture has change. There are more socially acceptable places and spaces for same-sex hookups, but the fact that beats are still so popular is significant I think.
    I was aware they existed but not in such public areas.

    Like you said it's easy to say go elsewhere. But when you look at it from a different angle;

    1-hotels cost money and would show up on a bank statement if providing a credit card as security. If you were spending hundreds a month and couldn't justify where it was going wouldn't this raise suspicions with your spouse. I wouldn't be parting with my $ every single time I wanted $ex.
    2-let's face it, dtd in the car isn't easy (never enjoyed it myself).
    3-you can't do it in a house if both are in relationships.
    4-most public carparks are locked at night.
    5-to those worried about sti's being shared, the gay community (yes I'm singling them out to prove a point) is VERY pro active about regular checks these days. You can contract something just as easy from having $ex with anyone.
    6-they can't go out late at night and do it if they are partnered. This would also raise suspicion.

    I don't condone it and I certainly don't think it's acceptable that it happens in such public places (still in about South Bank) but it does and when looking at it from another POV I can see why it still does when there are alternatives.

    Like pp said, the fact so many of us were unaware goes to show how discreet it usual is.
    Last edited by Ngaiz; 08-06-2014 at 15:00.

  11. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by Renn View Post

    Sure, our culture has change. There are more socially acceptable places and spaces for same-sex hookups, but the fact that beats are still so popular says something significant.
    It says more about society in general than it does about the people doing it.

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    One of my gay friends say most of his hook ups are with married men While I think it is sad they don't feel confident being open about their sexuality, I find it far worse that they are cheating on their unsuspecting partners. Just awful!

    Quote Originally Posted by Colbie View Post
    I do as well...although I find it sadder that some (most? I don't know) of them have wives or girlfriends at home that have no idea who their husbands truly are and are being lied to and deceived. They may not have the courage to be who they truly are but it's not fair on their partners for them to lead these double lives. Not to mention unsafe (sti's etc).

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ngaiz View Post
    2-let's face it, dtd in the car isn't easy (never enjoyed it myself).
    And yet a public toilet is easy and enjoyable? 😨

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ngaiz View Post
    5-to those worried about sti's being shared, the gay community (yes I'm singling them out to prove a point) is VERY pro active about regular checks these days. You can contract something just as easy from having $ex with anyone.
    That's a pretty big generalization. As pp said, it's not only gay men doing it. If someone decides to "pop in" ion the way home from work, they may not have the protection with them. I get what you're saying about it can happen anywhere which is true. I'm just concerned that it's more of a random act than a well thought out plan.

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