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  1. #1
    MilkingMaid's Avatar
    MilkingMaid is offline Winner 2009 - Mod Award - most supportive member
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    Question Do you think there is an age when children *should* leave home?

    For instance, my Stepmother made sure her 2 kids left home by the time they were 16, and my mother wasn't too worried about us 3, I think I was the youngest at 20, my sister a bit older, I think my brother left when he was about 23?

    Do you have strong views about a 'cut-off' age, or do you think you will take it as it comes?

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    I think I'll be much like Mum, if my kids are at University, and need to focus on study, I won't MAKE them leave home.

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    No I won't ever make them leave home. My parents didn't make me move out, I moved out at 18. My brother stayed at home until he was about 26 and had been working full time since 16. Mum and Dad moved away and my brother wanted to stay where they were, so it all just happened.

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    SpecialPatrolGroup is offline T-rex is cranky until she gets her coffee.
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    You beat me to it.

    I don't think there is a set age. All young people mature at different rates. Some 18 year olds are very capable and some lack maturity. Also some young people are studying, are under employed, earning appalling apprenticeship wages and trying to set themselves up with the required tools for future employment.

    My mum died when I was 17 and there was no way I was going to move out and leave dad to rattle around in that big house on his own. And he liked having us at home. He was very supportive to getting me on my feet and then we paid out fair share at home. Dad got cancer when I was 23 and died when I was 24 and the time with him was really special. So I never left home, instead my parents up and died on me.

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    I don't really have strong views on it , I believe it depends on the child - I left home at 20, my brother at 18 to go to Uni and my sister at 21, I have many many clients with kids still at home in their 30,s as they can't afford to buy a home which I think is becoming more common or I am selling to a lot of families who want granny flats or in law accommodation for their young married kids as they can't afford to live by themselves

    DS is only. 3.5 so I want to keep him at home forever! But I suppose I'd say I would think by early 20,s he would probably want to get out by then!

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    I would allow my children to live at home until they'd finished study and/or were in a position to sustain themselves.
    But I'd also be doing everything I could to help them get to that position.
    In stilling in them the importance of their education, how to behave in public etc, etc. So they were able to achieve that goal as soon as possible.
    I'd not be a fan of my child still living at home (unless under extreme circumstances) at 30!

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    I like the idea of kids moving out in their late teens or early twenties like I did while I was at Uni but in the city we live in and assuming my kids will go to university, I don't think that's going to be likely. Life is so expensive nowadays!

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    Haha guess I'd better weigh in! Check out time in my parents' hotel was 18, so I think it's weird when people live at home when they're older than that ...

    Although, now that I think of it, I think the only circumstance I think it is weird in, is when they live at home and are still treated like children when they're adults. Like, they're in their 20s and still have a curfew, still have rules about who they date, Mum still packs their lunch etc.

    Each to their own, of course, but I just can't imagine it for myself or my family

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    Check out time for my sister was 21. I moved out at 18, and my sister was done with uni at 20 so my parents gave her a year to get a job and get out.
    I will have a check out time of 25...but as soon as highschool is over they will be adults with equal responsibility in the house...so a roster for cooking meals, dealing with washing, equal share of housework etc. I won't make them pay board unless they are hopeless with their money. If they are saving to move out, or for a house loan or whatever they can live here for free, as long as we can afford for them to do so. If they blow their money on materialistic rubbish every week I will make them pay board, and save it for them, giving it back once they have learnt to be sensible with their money.

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    I moved out at 19 with dp (now DH) and was studying, it was bl00dy hard!!! I was working to pay rent and when I wasn't working I was on prac or studying. So if my dd's are studying I would try and encourage them to stay home but they will have to help around the house (not a free ride). I would ideally like then to buy a house also so they both have accounts already with savings.
    But if they are in their 30's I wouldn't be to impressed, DH has some friends who are 34 and still live at home in their childhood bedrooms. 1 of whoms 3 older brothers still live there also!! I would definiatly draw the line.


 

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