+ Reply to Thread
Page 3 of 6 FirstFirst 12345 ... LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 54
  1. #21
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    1,973
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked
    605
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I would rather my daughter be in the safety of our home, where she feels comfortable enough to ask her boyfriend to leave if she's uncomfortable, than her be at a party or at the boy's house where some of that power might be taken away and she feels stuck there.

  2. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to lemonpancakes For This Useful Post:

    Full House  (05-06-2014),Wise Enough  (05-06-2014)

  3. #22
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    906
    Thanks
    63
    Thanked
    156
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I'm surprised by the responses too... I lost my virg!7ty at 17 to my then boyfriend. Mum and dad knew him well and really liked him. We were together all the time. When mum found out we were having s$x she called me a **** and numerous other names and didn't talk to me for a week (my mum had pretty much never been angry at me in my life, never called any of us names, and id never heard her swear...) I was very shocked! She calmed down obviously and apologised but i still wasn't allowed to see me boyfriend for a month or so (I walked the dog a lot during that month...) and then when I finally was, I was never allowed to stay at his place and he was never allowed to stay at mine... It took until about 19 for them to ease up, but we were still never allowed boys to stay...

    But in answer to the question. I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to deal with stuff like that, I know I won't be as strict as mum, and my 3 eldest are boys. Dh also had a much more leaniant upbringing than me so I don't know where he'll stand... Lucky we have 12 years to think about it haha!

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to mmy2b For This Useful Post:

    peppertrees2014  (05-06-2014)

  5. #23
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    3,290
    Thanks
    688
    Thanked
    915
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    No I wouldn't. But I admit I'm old fashioned, and I don't really care if I haven't moved with the times.

    It worked for me so it will work for my kids too. I'm not stupid I know my kids will dtd but I don't like it whilst I'm at home awake in the other room. If they want to watch a movie, then doors stay open.

    Plenty of time to have 'alone time' with partners at clubs or what not. In particular when you're only 18.

  6. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to misho For This Useful Post:

    ExcuseMyFrench  (05-06-2014),peppertrees2014  (05-06-2014)

  7. #24
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Mackay
    Posts
    6,280
    Thanks
    809
    Thanked
    2,404
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Nothing wrong with it in my own opinion. I was allowed to have boyfriends stay over when I was 16 (although we had to sleep in the lounge), and I have a sister who was 6 at the time. Was never an issue. Similarly, we are guardians of my 17 year old sil and we have allowed her boyfriend to stay over and they are allowed their privacy. I know what they get up to and to be honest I would mich rather it be under my roof and know (although be in denial lol) and have her comfortable to talk about safe sex etc, rather than her feel the need to sneak around and potentially put herself in a bad situation. We also have young daughters and it was never an issue havibg the boyfriend stay over. They knew when the older ones were in the room they wanted their own space.

    The same will apply with our own daughters- if they want a boyfriend to stay over its fine providing they are old enough (16+) and we have met the bf first. Again I would much rather it be under my roof as oppsose to them sneaking around.

    It would have been nice for them to say hello but thats teens for you- I was the same, my sister is the same, my sil is the same.... its not necessarily them being rude. I just liked being in my room in my own space most of the time as a teen and pretty much every teen I know is similar.
    At 18 she is an adult and should be treated as such. Cant baby them just because of younger siblings.



    He + Me = dd1 (july 2007), dd2 (july 2010), dd3 (august 2012), dd4 (may 2014)
    Embrace the chaos

  8. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to SheWarrior For This Useful Post:

    HillDweller  (19-06-2014),Tattereds  (05-06-2014)

  9. #25
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    801
    Thanks
    227
    Thanked
    555
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    At 18 I was only allowed to have long term boyfriends stay in my room. Definitely no randoms though. Not that I would have done that anyway. However we had the etiquette/self control to spend most of our time with the family or watching TV in the rumpus room. We weren't holed up banging our brains out all hours of the day. Maybe they weren't doing that but still, having the door closed for hours gives that impression. When my DD is 18 I think I would let her boyfriends stay, but I would definitely encourage them to keep the bedroom activity to an acceptable level. I just think that's polite, after all even though she's an adult she is still living under my roof! I wouldn't go off with DH and close the door and canoodle away all day while the kids are home, not cause I have a problem with that but I just think it's a bit rude!

  10. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to GingerKat For This Useful Post:

    ExcuseMyFrench  (05-06-2014),peppertrees2014  (05-06-2014)

  11. #26
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    2,963
    Thanks
    1,117
    Thanked
    2,763
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Yes I would give my 18 year old that much privacy. At 16 I was having sleep overs at my boyfriend's house...he lived by himself. We were living together when I was 18. I find it weird when people have teenagers (16/17+) in serious relationships and insist that doors remain open etc. It just wasn't like that for me growing up at all.

  12. #27
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    2,251
    Thanks
    990
    Thanked
    490
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    So you weren't staying/visiting, just picking up her younger siblings. If you were visiting then I would have expected they be social. But honestly, what did you want them to do, get dressed, fix hair and come out to say hello for 5 min?

    At 18 i don't see any issues with this.

  13. The Following User Says Thank You to just her chameleon For This Useful Post:

    Tattereds  (05-06-2014)

  14. #28
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    4,633
    Thanks
    1,322
    Thanked
    2,598
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I don't see the issue.
    My children will be granted as much privacy as they wish.

  15. #29
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    3,165
    Thanks
    2,773
    Thanked
    2,282
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I moved out at 17 so got up to that sort of thing in my own house. but my mum always said she would rather we did it in the house than in a park or a car or something. I consider an 18 year old to be an adult, so yep. Doors closed and make their own decisions! Even with mum giving me those boundaries, I was 18 before I dtd any way.

  16. #30
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    984
    Thanks
    238
    Thanked
    313
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Privacy at 18 yes, boyfriend in bedroom with door shut, no. It totally depends on your family values and what you've brought your kids up to believe. I get really annoyed when people say "they'll just have sex somewhere else", kind of like when people say "they'll just drink somewhere else if you don't let them drink at home". It frustrates me when people discredit young adults as though they have no self control and they're all going to act the same. It annoys me because I was a teenager who wasn't like that, I was brought up in a Christian home and as a young adult I wanted to only ever be with one person, and I have only ever been with my husband. We're bringing our family up the same. We have a value and that is that sex is something to be enjoyed within the commitment of marriage, so we'll have house rules that support that. Obviously I don't just take for granted that all my children will grow up to believe what I do, but under our roof we will maintain the values we have. If they move out then they will take responsibility for themselves. I moved out when I was 17 and my boyfriend's family had the same house rules.

  17. The Following User Says Thank You to Justwant2beamummy For This Useful Post:

    ExcuseMyFrench  (05-06-2014)


 

Similar Threads

  1. 4 year old girl and concentration
    By Macca96 in forum Discipline & behaviour
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 21-05-2014, 20:40
  2. Party idea for 3 year old girl?
    By mumkc in forum Birthdays
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 04-07-2013, 14:59

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
sales & new stuffsee all
Hire For Baby Perth
New RETAIL store - Perth Hire For Baby Perth
Here at Hire for Baby, we offer a wide range of products from Child Restraints to Strollers, Stroller Accessories and Oricom Baby Monitors. Wholesale prices - till the stock ends. Buy from us and get the installation for FREE.
Like us on Facebook and get $10 OFF
featured supporter
TPS Health Physiotherapy and Pilates
TPS Health Physiotherapy and Pilates has three clinics located at Morningside, Redlands and Lutwyche. We offer pre and post natal services as well as physiotherapy and Pilates. All clinics offer child minding services so bubs are always welcome!
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!