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  1. #1
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    Default Workplace exclusion bulling WTD?

    I've posted about this before but lost the post & I haven't done anything yet but I want to.

    One of the people I work with doesn't like me. He's never said that but it's obvious to me. He used to be the manager but resigned and rejoined the team of worker bees. New manager is amazing.

    This guy, I'll call him 'Eric', is quite passive aggressive & is the head honcho of the only real 'click' there. So he has a 'team' of another 4 staff members who part take in what I'll call bulling.

    They (all of them but I'm 100% sure it's under the instruction of Eric)
    *Completely ignore me when I attempt to talk to them
    *When I do insist on a response they basically snarl at me with up turned lips
    *Completely ignore my requests, attempts to contact them via text, email & phone (to the point where I emailed the manager this morning to say 'Eric is refusing to get back to me can you please get an answer out of him')
    *they go for coffee/bring each other coffee every morning, offer everyone else one (but me, even when I'm right there as they are offering everyone else)
    *all good mornings or good byes are either ignored or met with a snarl.
    *they bad mouth me & my abilities, confirmed by numerous people who have over heard
    *they sit around reception & have what I call 'click meetings'. When I've joined the table (in attempt to break the ice/join in) I'm either stared at, or one by one they leave the table.

    This is also basically what happens when I attempt to join there before/after work car park chats.

    I have brought this up with the GM, RM & BDM. They're advice to me is to 'ignore them, they're contracts will be up soon & they won't be renewing them, that I'm doing a great job, they want me with the company long term, keep it up.'

    I'm starting to remember why I was a quite achiever at school.. In this job I am moping the floor with KPI's, marketing & advertising.

    But I'm now at the point where I feel like crying but I don't want to give them the satisfaction. It hasn't always been like this. It all started when Eric lied to the GM about me undermining the company and I called him on it to his face in a meeting with the GM.. But the fact that he did that in the first place suggests to me he had issues with me before then.

    Anyway.. How do I make it stop?!

  2. #2
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    I have been in a similar situation and handled it badly.

    I'm also going through a similar situation now but not to the same extent as you.

    I have learned that for me personally the best thing to do is "kill them with kindness". By being happy, friendly, chatty etc even when people are being obnoxious and rude makes you feel 100 times better and gives the person a wake up call. Eventually they will realise how stupid and childish they are and get over themselves.

    Or not have their contracts renewed 😜

    Instead of focusing on what's bothering me I've invested my energy in personal development. I watch you tube motivational speaker videos and read lots of stuff online to improve myself.
    I've learnt so much about how to handle people and am changing within myself.

    I hope that helps and I hope you start to feel better about your situation.

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    Mummy Potato  (05-06-2014)

  4. #3
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    I would probably take this approach:

    Stop trying to infiltrate the clique. Don't try and sit with them or make small talk. Deal with them as minimally as possible - business only. If they ignore you when you are asking something that you need to (related to work), let your manager know that your colleague is being difficult by ignoring you. Even if they don't like you, it is unprofessional to ignore you when it comes to work matters.

    They sound very immature and high school. You need to recognise that they are not worth being buddies with. Rise above the cr*p and acknowledge that their attention is not worth your time.

    Be civil, polite, but do not suck up to them in any way.

    Bullies thrive on a reaction. I think if you show them you don't care, they may just stop being so petty.

    I'm sorry you are having such a hard time and I hope the tide turns for you. Sounds like a miserable environment, but if you are excelling in your job it might be worth sticking it out, especially if they won't be there long term.

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    If you love your job, do not leave. I was suffering the same kind of situation and was being handballed all the work as well, the trouble is the manager didn't see anything wrong with it. I loved my job but I left, and I have regretted it ever since. Stay strong and take pride that you are being seen for the effort you put in.

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    Mummy Potato  (05-06-2014)

  8. #5
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    Thanks laddies, when I say they are ignoring me, I mean on every level, from a simple hello to work related emails.

    Eg, I emailed Eric yesterday & again this morning as a client of his, is partaking in a event of mine, and I need his approval before I can confirm his client can partake. His client is wanting an answer from me & I can give it to him until Eric gets back to me. I have emailed the manager & asked him to follow it up. And I know Eric has received the first & second email as his client told me they had already discussed it. But I can't take his word I need Eric to sign off on it (company procedures)

    I normally don't approach them unless one person (not in the clique) is with them, or if a client of mine is with them. Even though it's still uncomfortable.

    I am trying to be my happy self but it's exhausting & depressing to be meet with their resistance time & time again.

  9. #6
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    I'd just be super nice with a sweet smile. it would annoy them more than anything.

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    Mummy Potato  (05-06-2014)

  11. #7
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    Id almost be inclined to be direct and try and nip his passive aggressive behaviour in the bud because this is now affecting your work. Next time he ignores an email, I would walk up to his desk, and in the sweetest and least threatening way, say something along the lines of "Eric, have you been receiving my emails?" and regardless of which way he answers you can say "it's just I've been sending you emails and I'm finding you are not responding so I just wanted to double check that we weren't having an IT problem or something!" - that way he is aware that you know he's being a jerk, but that you don't want it to keep happening. It will be harder for him to ignore your emails once you have acknowledged to him that he doesn't respond. I don't know, it's hard to know the right way to handle things, that's what I would do anyway.

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  13. #8
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    From memory (other threads) your workplace is riddled with inappropriate behavior... If it were me I would ignore the group coffees etc but if someone ignored me regarding a work issue then I would raise it with management. But be prepared for management then deciding to make big moves to change the overall culture of the of Office. I don't know how to say this politley but I recall you have taken part in inappropriate conduct in the past: if I were you I would keep my nose very very clean.... Lead by example.... before bringing management into this.

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    Mummy Potato  (05-06-2014)

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    Can you Cc your manager in the emails to make sure he's responding?

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  17. #10
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    1 - I would talk to your manager about your work-related communication issues. Explain that he is not responding to work related emails.

    2 - cc your manager on any emails, so that he/she can see that you have indeed instigated the request, and that it has been ignored

    3 - agree with Degrassi. For social stuff (even a goodmorning) I would not go out of your way to 'fit in' with them. Dont try and join their conversation etc. But be polite. Still say goodmorning (even if its ignored). They are being the 5 yr olds, not you.

    4 - hold your head up high. Bullying (encouraging others to be repeatedly nasty on purpose is bullying) is not acceptable ... but you are better than them.


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