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  1. #11
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    Usually no, no Christmas presents either, he says he pays his child support and we won't get a cent more. He doesn't see her either unless she's spending time with his mum, who bless her adores my daughter and wants to be involved, takes her around there to drop something off.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by PipersMummy View Post
    Usually no, no Christmas presents either, he says he pays his child support and we won't get a cent more. He doesn't see her either unless she's spending time with his mum, who bless her adores my daughter and wants to be involved, takes her around there to drop something off.
    geez that's rough! What a crappy attitude he has.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by oozzle View Post
    My son turned 13 on Sunday, he was at his dad's for the weekend and came home pretty disappointed as he didn't even get a card.. Nothing.

    He's not a greedy kid or anything, he got pretty spoilt from me and my family, but I feel bad for him. It's the first time his birthday has fallen on his dads weekend and thought it would be lots of fun, not just sitting around watching his dad sand his model cars and stuff....

    thoughts? It's pretty slack, right?
    That's pretty yucky IMO. Could you speak to your ex to find out what that was about?

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    Quote Originally Posted by firsttimemum34 View Post
    That's pretty yucky IMO. Could you speak to your ex to find out what that was about?
    He won't speak to me since I stopped doing private collect through CSA.. It hurt his feelings according to him. The slack thing was though that he kept asking DS what he wanted for his birthday.. What's with that? I don't get it..

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    Quote Originally Posted by crankyoldcow View Post
    That's nasty of your ex to do that.

    Mine gives the kids money for Christmas and birthdays. He isn't consistent with the amounts he gives eg could give one kid $100 and the others $50 for their birthdays in the same year.
    Sounds like my dad - bought my sister a phone and me a scarf one Xmas

  6. #16
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    That's really slack OP, your poor boy.

    Surprisingly, yes my kids' birthdays get celebrated at their dad's. He usually just has the birthday child, takes them to the movies and then shopping for a gift which then stays at his house.

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  8. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by oozzle View Post
    He won't speak to me since I stopped doing private collect through CSA.. It hurt his feelings according to him. The slack thing was though that he kept asking DS what he wanted for his birthday.. What's with that? I don't get it..
    Your poor DS Op. This makes me really angry. His feelings got hurt? Seriously? How about DS's feelings? Even worse that he kept asking DS what he wanted. I'm not a single parent and don't have any experience of this kind of thing but my heart breaks for your DS and i'm thinking of you. Must be a hard situation to try and manage when it's not something you can control.

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  10. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by oozzle View Post
    I really feel like saying something to him, it's not like he's an absent dad, he sees him regularly, but that would only make me feel better, not help anything.
    He got so spoilt here, spent way more than I could afford on him and saved up for ages, but he is so worth it! Glad I did now..
    I would disagree.
    You are telling him that he hurt his son's feelings.
    He may not have even realised he hurt your son.
    I think telling your ex is standing up for your son. You don't need to be mean, but need to say to him "you hurt xxxx feelings on the weekend. It was his birthday and he feels you didn't care enough to make him feel special" yada yada yada.
    I don't think saying something to your ex would only serve the purpose of making you feel better.
    What happens next time his birthday falls in your ex's weekend?
    At least if it is addressed, your ex cannot claim ignorance next time, and he'll just look like a douche bag.

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    atomicmama  (10-06-2014),LaDiDah  (04-06-2014),oozzle  (04-06-2014),TheGooch  (04-06-2014)

  12. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by moongazer View Post
    I would disagree.
    You are telling him that he hurt his son's feelings.
    He may not have even realised he hurt your son.
    I think telling your ex is standing up for your son. You don't need to be mean, but need to say to him "you hurt xxxx feelings on the weekend. It was his birthday and he feels you didn't care enough to make him feel special" yada yada yada.
    I don't think saying something to your ex would only serve the purpose of making you feel better.
    What happens next time his birthday falls in your ex's weekend?
    At least if it is addressed, your ex cannot claim ignorance next time, and he'll just look like a douche bag.
    I agree with moongazer. Telling him your DS is hurt is fine. You're not making it about you - you're informing a dad that their child is upset.
    If he won't speak to you, can you send him a text? The only thing is, don't then engage in back and forth. Say it clearly and say it once. If he replies with excuses. Don't engage. Just say "i'm informing you of how your DS feels. That's all. Perhaps explain it to him"

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  14. #20
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    If he was even slightly mature, then absolutely I should say something. I totally agree with standing up for him in any other situation.. My ex is a massive 'guilter'.. My son didn't even want to tell me in case I said something to him because then next time he's there he'll get picked at for dobbing on him Wasn't long ago that my son had a party to go to on his dad's weekend and when he called him to see if it was ok to go, he started the whole 'oh you don't love your old man hey? Rather hang out with kids you see all the time hey?' type crap... I would feel awful for DS to go there and be moaned at the whole time.. So annoying though coz if it was an issue of money for him, I could've sent something over for him to give him.
    Last edited by oozzle; 04-06-2014 at 09:20.


 

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