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  1. #1
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    Default Am I making the right decision? Miscarriage at 21 weeks :'(

    I am 21 weeks pregnant with a beautiful baby girl. I went for a routine check up this week and the hospital told me they couldn't find her heart beat. I am so heartbroken, I can't eat, sleep or think straight. I went for another scan just hoping a praying that they were wrong, but sadly she has passed. It doesn't feel real, I feel like I'm stuck in a nightmare and I just want someone to wake me up already. I went to talk to the doctor today, to tell me my options. I have decided to wait for labour to come on naturally, I don't know if this is the right choice. I don't want to be induced knowing that I could be waiting at the hospital for days on the labour ward with all the other mums having their beautiful healthy babies, when I know mine will never take her first breath. I have had 4 other pregnancy, I have 3 amazing happy healthy kids and I lost twins at 31 weeks in 2011. I have had c-section with all 4 pregnancy and have no idea what labour feels like, I'm scared and don't know what to expect. This time last week I was the happiest I had ever been, it took me nearly 3 years to know what true happiness felt like again after I lost the twins. I suffered server depression, anxiety and even attempted suicide. I had a gorgeous little girl in 2013, my pregnancy with her was very complicated and I found that I couldn't get excited about the pregnancy cause I was so scared of losing her after the twins. When I fell pregnant this time I was so excited, I was picturing our future, I was enjoying getting fat, I felt like I had so much to look forward to. I now feel like my world has been turned upside down again, i have so much heart ache in front of me, delivering the baby, making funeral arrangements. Feel like I'm back at square one, I have an amazing supportive partner,. Who I can't be thankful enough for. He supports all my decisions as he just wants me to be happy but I think he wishes that I chose to be induced. Any advice would be great

    RIP my beautiful angel Ellie xxx

  2. #2
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    I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you have someone to lean on during this tough time. If you need someone to talk to - feel free to pm me xxx

  3. #3
    MilkingMaid's Avatar
    MilkingMaid is offline Winner 2009 - Mod Award - most supportive member
    Question those who don't question authority
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    I have no advice, apart from doing what is in your heart, I'm so sorry this has happened. Go gently.

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    I have no advice but I'm so sorry and lots of hugs to you. x x x




    ⭐️DS #1 born 15.03.2010⭐️
    ⭐️DS #2 born 16.02.2014⭐️
    ⭐️Me=29 💗 DP=34⭐️

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    I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your twins and this baby girl.

    I don't think that there is any right or wrong way to proceed. You do what you think is right for you.
    Hugs..

  6. #6
    Gothel's Avatar
    Gothel is offline Skip the drama, stay with Mama!
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    I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad your husband is so supportive. Give yourself some time to grieve, I'm sure the answer will become clear.

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    I'm so sorry x

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    Just tragic. I'm so sorry for your loss. How unfair, it sounds like you have already had your fair share of heartache. No advice as to what you should do, you need to do what feels right. Xx

  9. #9
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    I have no advice either but couldn't read and run
    I'm so sorry

  10. #10
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    I'm so so sorry for your loss. Losing a baby in late pregnancy is too much heartache for anyone...losing 3 is just tragic and unfair.
    As mentioned I don't think there is a right or wrong... Just cope with this is any way you feel you can. Xo


 

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