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  1. #31
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    I'm with @Sonja either tell everyone or keep it quiet. And I agree with treating both sets of grandparents equally. You will be setting yourself up for loads of pain if you start a 'my family your family ' war.

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia View Post
    I'm with @Sonja either tell everyone or keep it quiet. And I agree with treating both sets of grandparents equally. You will be setting yourself up for loads of pain if you start a 'my family your family ' war.
    This.

  3. #33
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    I wouldnt tell her either. She clearly hasnt respected your decisions so far
    I disagree that you were expecting too much by asking them to keep it private. They are your parents for god sake!
    If you cant tell them something private and expect to remain so.....


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  5. #34
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    I'm with the pp's -
    You either tell no one or everyone as someone will spill the beans regardless.
    This happened in our family - we told everyone the gender except for 2 people who really didn't want to know which was fine with us. They then found out a few weeks before bubs was born from someone else who didn't realize they didn't know.

    As for MIL not respecting your wishes -
    Well I would be putting my foot down on that one ASAP!

  6. #35
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    I would tell those that you want to tell and who you trust, the rest can go stuff themselves.

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  8. #36
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    Was she drinking? Maybe she got excited and let it slip?

    This is a hard one. Maybe get your husband to talk to her, she might deeply regret saying it and promise to keep the gender a secret.

  9. #37
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    I really get along with my MIL but we told dh's parents and my mother that we were pregnant at 7 weeks but told them all several times that we wanted no one else to know until we gave the go ahead after our scan at 13 weeks. We impressed his on them all several times.

    Well a few weeks later her sister congratulated me and when we called her out on it she claimed 'well you were 12 weeks so obviously everything is fine.' She also never apologised and stood by her decision which has still left an impression on me.

    For the next baby we won't be telling anyone until after the NT scan. It's unfair on my mum and his FIL who kept their mouth shut but that is unfortunately the price to pay to have control over the news.

    It's unfair out MILs put this position on us but that really is the choice you have... Don't tell them or tell them but be prepared she will probably blab...

  10. #38
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    DP will be talking to her about it and quite frankly telling her exactly what we both think. He says he wont be beating around the bush. He has also said he will be telling her that with the next bubs, she wont be told anything at all. So yes unfortunately FIL will miss out also. We'll see.
    DP doesnt have a good relationship with her nor do i. She has caused alot of issues within her husbands family and alot of heartache to my FIL. We took a leap of faith with trusting her and she blew it...again.
    I can get past the sharing of the names, its the attitude that i feel is not on. Its the attitude that p***ed me off.

  11. #39
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    I understand your excitement in having your first baby... It's an exciting time. I do think its a bit like playing games/creating Unecessary drama and stress for yourself to release the name to a host of people and make them keep it secret... To release bubs name to your parents and not hubby's. And to be honest for most people learning the name and sex of someone else's baby before it's born isn't that exciting... It's just news to gossip about to another's and then they forget about it until the baby comes.

    Keep an eye on your mil but at the same time don't encourage her by playing games. Good luck..

  12. #40
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    i had a problem when i told my mum last time i was pregnant. told her at 4 weeks and she told someone who wouldn't have any contact with anyone else i know, so she had decided it was ok (it was a workmate of hers, and someone I have known all my life). Anyway, i ended up having an early miscarriage at 5 weeks, but mum forgot to tell this lady the update. So fast forward to my sister's baby shower (she had been 3 weeks further along than me) and this woman had bought a gift for both of us. Lucky mum found out before she tried to give it to me, but still I don't think I will tell my mum next time until after the scan - but i will also be keeping it from the rest of the family too.


 

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