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  1. #21
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    If it was me I'd probably text her. I can word things much better when I have the chance to write it down .

    Maybe something like

    There's something that's been bugging me for awhile now and I need to bring it up before it gets to the point our friendship isn't fixable.
    I feel really upset by your actions when ..... ?
    Hope that helps a bit x

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  3. #22
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    She doesn't sound like she's coping very well, maybe she is having a rough time?

    It's certainly no excuse for her poor behavior, but happy mummas don't swear at their bubbas.

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    DarcyJ  (31-05-2014)

  5. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by knuckles View Post
    If it was me I'd probably text her. I can word things much better when I have the chance to write it down .

    Maybe something like

    There's something that's been bugging me for awhile now and I need to bring it up before it gets to the point our friendship isn't fixable.
    I feel really upset by your actions when ..... ?
    Hope that helps a bit x
    Good but cut out the 'your actions' bit. Just go straight into "a child is called XYZ in front of me and when people laugh when a child hurts themselves."

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    DarcyJ  (31-05-2014)

  7. #24
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    What did you say to her about laughing at your son when he hit the tiles and then laughed? If you don't say anything when she does this then you are condoning her behaviour. Most mums know this is unacceptable but maybe she has no clue. It's up to us to role model and pull people up when they continuously behave in this way. To suddenly say she can't be a bridesmaid will teach her nothing. She needs to understand the reasons why. As someone previously asked, 'what does your partner think?'

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  9. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Good but cut out the 'your actions' bit. Just go straight into "a child is called XYZ in front of me and when people laugh when a child hurts themselves."
    Why would you want to avoid saying it how it is? This persons actions, how they are percieved, are unnaceptable to the op. I understand the reasons for identifying how someone feels about someone elses actions, but unless the friendship is worth salvaging and the person needs help (ie: unusual behavior), I'd maybe say how the op sees it and maybe how the other person actually needs to hear it - straight - and in a way that gives them a kick in the bum about how they are seen to be treating thier helpless bub from the outside.

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  11. #26
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    What I mean by that is sometimes, people need to be called on thier behaviour upfront. Calling your child a *** head is not acceptable or appropriate regardless of how others feel about it. It is verbal abuse.

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  13. #27
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    Wow OP - i don't blame the way you feel, she sounds horrible to be around. Do you think she's maybe depressed? Seems like very unusual behavior. Was she always the type to laugh at other peoples accidents like she laughed at your LO's, and did she seem like the moody type before that she is now? Im thinking she sounds like she's not coping too well. I know you don't want to deal with peoples crap, but i guess i would personally feel inclined to say something to her to help her be aware and work on it for her childs sake. I know its not easy, but i think something needs to be said to her.

    Instead of worrying about cutting her out of the wedding right now - maybe start with mentioning to her your concerns and feelings on how she behaves, and then go from there? You never know she might snap out of it once she realises just how bad her behavior really is. To her it might all just be a big joke, and in good fun.... but its coming across differently to other people.

    Does your DH see what you see in her behavior? I know he doesn't want to start drama, but des he agree she is acting awful?

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    DarcyJ  (31-05-2014)

  15. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smyles View Post
    She doesn't sound like she's coping very well, maybe she is having a rough time?

    It's certainly no excuse for her poor behavior, but happy mummas don't swear at their bubbas.
    This. I would ask her if she is ok? You said you used to like her? Maybe she is suffering PND?

    Just say you are really worried about her and that her behavior is concerning you.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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  17. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by crazyaboutbubs View Post
    This. I would ask her if she is ok? You said you used to like her? Maybe she is suffering PND?

    Just say you are really worried about her and that her behavior is concerning you.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    This.

    If you used to be good friends.... then why not try to reach out to her first?

    i also completely agree that mum's that are happy and that are in the right place mentally don't call their babies nasty names and swear at them. Something doesn't sound right.

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    DarcyJ  (31-05-2014)

  19. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by KitiK View Post
    Why would you want to avoid saying it how it is? This persons actions, how they are percieved, are unnaceptable to the op. I understand the reasons for identifying how someone feels about someone elses actions, but unless the friendship is worth salvaging and the person needs help (ie: unusual behavior), I'd maybe say how the op sees it and maybe how the other person actually needs to hear it - straight - and in a way that gives them a kick in the bum about how they are seen to be treating thier helpless bub from the outside.
    Because by saying you you you it's like you're declaring war ... Well perhaps not but it's aggressive. And no one is going to respond well to that. If the ops mind is made up, and she is certain she doesn't want to be friends with this lady then yeah go this route. If she actually wants to salvage a friendship then the approach needs to be not so confrontational.

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